Is it just very attractive woman you have this with?

Knave has given some great advice, although what you need is a step by step plan, your already aware you need to stop caring about what people think, however unfortunately we are inherently obliged to succumb to our emotions .

Here is a way you can increase your confidence with woman.

Its called AJays step up programme..... Firstly, speak to woman who you don’t find overwhelmingly attractive (fatties if you must, but be careful as a lot of them smell), you will feel more confident and much more worthy and will not care about fucking up..... slowly increase the attractiveness of the woman and in time you will be able to eradicate your phobia with these progressive steps.

You need to change the neuronal responses your brain has when dealing with attractive woman, its not easy and the only way in my opinion is to take small steps......If you have the ability to ACT then you may be able to covey to others your not feeling these emotions, but ultimately they will still be there. Its always better to eradicate them from the start. However its more likely that they will just be suppressed (but suppressed is good).

Allot of Phobias are dealt with in similar ways, I think this is no different.

AJay