Hey all I've not been on here long, I have been taking baby steps in getting smoother at starting conversations with girls and controlling myself in order to 'act' and not 'react' when around attractive girls.

The subject I'd like to mention in this post however, is one which is the reason some guys are just 'naturals'. It's alpha confidence that they display, we all know this, and although many of us may think that we would act more courageously and decisively in a crisis where it would actually matter, these guys are far more assertive and controlling socially.

I've always been quieter and more subtle, I quite liked being like this, and I'm finding it hard to break out of this pattern without coming across as someone who's trying too hard. When you're at a party or a pub and you meet girls, do any of you find it hard to break into dominance, especially when friends/acquaintances there may be naturally more alpha than you. It's really effecting my confidence with girls to the point where whenever I meet them, even when I'm alone, I just think 'they'll meet my friend/someone else and realise I'm not at all alpha and get bored with me'.

Thoughts?

I need to go but I'm sure you'll get great advice.

My quick answer is read 'How to Become an Alpha Male' amazon or from various torrent sites a 3 minute google should turn up a result.

I found it useful would recommend to download not sure about buy, but hey its only twenty quid

1 thing to remember is you don’t have to be a stereotypical alpha male to be socially dominant. Im not a stereotypical alpha male although i am socially dominant, if someone is being rude i will tell them, if someone says something i disagree with i tell them. Its just being sure of yourself and your views and opinions, and not being afraid to let go and go with the flow. If you’re not very talkative use your body language and eye contact to establish your dominance, facial expressions.

Express how you really feel, dont try to always please others. if there’s an alpha male raining on your parade say to him "Jesus crist your very alpha you need to tone it down a bit or you’ll scare people away". You need to do this jokingly by the way. Bust his balls intellectually and you will show your social dominance. If he gets mad at you that’s even better, woman don’t want a man who’s emotionally unstable and wants to fight all the time. They want a man who can react to unknown situation confidently, knowing what to do naturally.
Be free and fear no challenge!

AJay

If your referring to the John Alexander ebook, then I also rate it highly.

AJay has it bang on!

Get to know yourself - know what you like and don't like so that YOU are comfortable with it, not ashamed and are happy with yourself!
Then when you go out it shows, the way you talk etc. that way you control the conversation because you have an opinion that you believe in. You tell people that we should go/meet in the bar/pub that you want because you want to go there, you like it. Confidence isn't about controlling people its about being comfortable and proud of yourself.

The other day I was talking to my HB10 about Smallville, yes it's geeky but she listened intently, giggled and was even talking about superman because I like it and I wanted to talk about it.

Having to "be Alpha" to get girls is a bit of myth imo

I listen to a lot of Russell Brand's stand up routines when I'm driving and he really plays on the fact that he is a Beta male.

Also busts the "alphas" balls something chronic too mind

example

"MASCULINE! FUCKING! MEN! Every movement emanates from the COCK!"

"SOMETHIN IN ERE IS GETTING FUCKIN PREGANT!"

By pointing out both the ridiculousness of his and their behaviours he exposes the shallowness at the heart of it all

Scampo

Again we can go back to the mystery method on this. You need to be the leader of MEN, doesnt matter wether your alpha or not... providing you can show your the leader of men woman will be attracted to you. I mean look at mystery he is a complete dork but he is the leader of men, he is sure of himself and he isnt affraid to speak his mind.

First you need to have 100% faith in yourself, if you want other people to have 100% faith in you. Then people will follow you in your victorious rampage of life.

AJay

AJay

Green wing has some interesting characters that illustrate archetypical brash self-important alpha (guy) vs what the PUA community would consider a true alpha (mac), and of course the ultimate AFC (martin) for completeness.

The Muppets has some interesting characters that illustrate archetypical brash self-important alpha males on this site.

I mentioned this on another thread recently. In the art of seduction there are lots of different seducer types one being the dandy where you act feminine but masculine as well much like Russell Brand.