I have this friend (female) i have shagged a fair few of her friends!! whenever im in a social situation with a new girl that i want... i get her!! pretty much 95% i will.

Now when in this social situation however, it is EASY, ur already past the comfort part. its like instant rapport. and at this point im fine.

Its before this, did i nail the PRE COMFORT bit, id be VERY HAPPY!


alot of girls say im intimidating, as soon as i meet them they feel really intimidated, not "is he gonna punch me" intimidated, they just say, im too confident whatever the fuck that means.

now my major problem im havin is im now bored of bein the badboy, its fun to an extent but now im 26 & need to let it go!! i really do, hang up the leather jacket.

I cannot be nice. im a cunt, i say what i think, and i dont care who i offend, which is a trait i need to tone down!! im also NEG NEG NEG and thats fun untill its annoying and i cant stop, i cant just get into conversation.

i also need to find a way that from now, when im approaching girls... i dont apear to be

"A LAD THAT TRIES TO FUCK ANYONE HE SPEAKS TO"

how do i do this, coz whilst its not true(ish), its how i come across...

so just sumone give me somethin that may help me out a bit please

Random question shooting from the hip here.

You say you cannot just have a normal conversation, you just basically take the piss constantly.
Can you have a normal conversation with your male friends?
- if so-- whats the difference? - you dont see girls as people just things?

If you cannot have a normal conversation with male friends
- Do you feel like you ahve nothing going on in your life of interest/value so you take the easy road and just take the piss?

I used to have that issue. Still do occasionally. One thing that I've learnt really helps is.... *drum roll*.... shut the fuck up.

Seriously. I've worked a LOT on engaging the filter between my brain and my mouth so that I don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Also, it forces me to listen more, which in turn improves conversation significantly and helps me DHV.

It doesn't happen overnight though. Takes a while to learn to switch that filter on. A lot of the time I find the best way to do it though is to try saying nothing for as long as you can.

Might not be the best or the ideal way, but it seems to be working for me.

Phil, in addition to what "us lot" say, get some female opinions. Ask some fuck buddies about what they thought of you when you first met them.

I regularly use a "What's the one thing in life you're REALLY into? What's your PASSION?" thing which is summarised here. It is an easy conversation platform. How else were you supposed to find out within ten minutes of talking to her that she used to compete as a skier, when her parents lived in Switzerland, and although she's an accountant she's always wanted to work in the theatre? The most open questions include really lame "oh what are you into?" or a super lame "what are your hobbies?", therefore the good one I use is "What's the one thing in life you're REALLY into? What's your PASSION?".

Other than that I'm making statements about what I think is cool or interesting, pausing, and then the bird is naturally piggybacking ontop with her comments (i.e. we all agree to avoid being question-and-answer machines).

Something that I keep hear being promoted is: show a genuine interest in the other person.

Be totally "in" to them (this is pre-sex!). Chill out so you are at their energy level! Listen intentley to what they say (hard in a busy club), keeping eyes on them. Be silent. Any pauses in the conversation, she'll fill it.

This is part of my problem, im not interested, i think i have a self supremacy complex, i find it hard meeting people who can keep my interest

i never EVER Show girls im into them, i think girls take advantage of it.

but none the less, comments taken onboard, and im gonna give em a go.

start tryin to be interested in other people.

ur spot on, i dont value women like i do friends, i see women as beneath me, in fact, its only when a girl shows me she is of value i will give her my time.

i do thing there are decent women out there, just not enuf of them

and yes, i know exactly how i sound, but its how i am.

right so can you define what such a girl is? What it is that YOU value?

so if she's gonna be girlfriend material, approximately what is it YOU would like her to be like?

You do know that Girls aswell as boys can have some really interesting things to say and can actually teach you somthing?, and they dont always volunteer it.

I dont see how you can ever hold onto a long term relationship with that attitude, its about give and take and both contributing.

How do you ever get laid?

REBUS: Thats way out of anywhere im even thinkin about at the min, i just like hot women. i rekon what u said is enuf for now. wer gettin too deep.

REFLEX: i have gathered so much infor from girls its untrue, i have some really close female friends... and i dont want an LTR...

BCB: You would be surprised how many women really love gettin spoken down to, and love chasing you!! honestly i get laid and i think R U FOR REAL, THE WAY I AM WITH U AN U WANNA FUCK ME. never ceases to amaze me. sometimes id like to be just normal with girls, but i find whenever i tone down and be nice to them, they end up fuckin some guy who is actin alpha like i usually do so much so its been years since ive acted nice.... they disrespect nice lads, ive seen it over & over. which i suppose is why pua came rearing its shit

its like a whole catch 22 situation.