Social skills are an intrinsic part of being a living human being. Having a conversation with someone is just a normal part of life. Problems arise because of the way you percieve yourself in the world, and the way you percieve everyone else. If you have been brought up in a negative environment, and have learnt at an early age for example that people in general aren't to be trusted, then you grow up as a less socially effective person. An experiment was carried out on infants in the 70's to see whether their attachment to their mother had any effect on their sociability. They observed their behaviour at 15 months, and then at 3 and a half years, and found that securely attached children were much more sociable than insecurely attached ones. So, the way I see it, it's not a lack of social skills that causes a person to be introverted, or anti sociable or whatever, it's the actual inability to learn these social skills, because of that persons perception of the world, and of themselves. You can't tell a socially inable person to go out and learn social skills, when their head is so fucked up that they think the rest of the world is against them. It would be like sending Woody allen into the ring with evander hollyfield. I'm pretty sure, in fact i'm positive that there are plenty of guys that join this community who are completely fucked up inside, and because all they hear is approach, approach approach, then when they do approach and get blown out like nobodies business, then they go home and feel like the world has ended, no where near better off but much worse off. For these people, there's a mountain to climb within before they need to start looking at how to learn "social skills", which by the way are way over complicated a lot of the time. For these people, acceptance of themselves and the world around them is fundamental to becoming a more socially able person, not learning how to make people laugh or influence people into liking them with words.

And actually, when i say there's a mountain to climb, thats probably not the best way to put it, because it insinuates that its hard work. Becoming a more chilled out, peaceful person isn't hard work, and if you want it bad enough, then it won't seem like work at all.

Its actually called social skills lol, what i believe is everybody has different levels of ability in different things, 2 people learn to drive, one will end up being a better more skill full driver than the other, if 2 people go the gym, one may see greater results that the other, even if there doing exactly the same thing, its genetic. But the guy that has less genetic ability than the other can still improve the physic, and overall fitness. When your doing/learning something you have to make sure your learning from the right material/people, theres alot more to being a body builder than just lifting weights, many different techniques/diets that will suit some more than others.

But with social skills, theres more to it as regards to just a skill, you have to be in a social state before you go out, so i would do things to get me into that state.

You must have both good social intelligence, and good social state, to be at your best. + innergame.

When i first properly got into this PUA stuff, I was actually doing worse with women for probably the first 12 months, but i stuck with it i learnt, eventually from my mistakes, I always had belief in what i was learning, and i started to see improvements, the last year has been dramatic, I use to be shy and quiet, now i can go out on my own and have great interactions with people i meet, Am seeing someone now i met while out on my own, 3 years ago i would of never of believed how much av changed, and others have seen the change.

I was also working on inner game, am more confident, much less anxious, far less in my head and more living in the moment, than i ever was before i got into self help.

Your talking to someone that has benefited massively from the PUA community, and your trying to tell me its a sham.

camarda this sounds like either a cry for help or just a rant.

if its the first theres no shame in that,

u need to ask urself what is your goal in life? be honest, and work towards that.

HI IM JOE BLOGGS.... I AM NOT VERY GOOD IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS, ESPECIALLY WITH GIRLS I WAS HOPING YOU COULD GIVE ME SOME HELP

Yes of course

Ok... Be naturally better in social situations as of now.... dont learn anythin coz its fake just be better naturaly, its fulfilling.

THER YOU GO, HOW DO YOU FEEL....

WRITE A BOOK

When did i ever talk about tyler durden lol, and who said i wasn't giving myself any credit lol, this is nothing more than your inaccurate perceptions, and that seems to sum up most of what you say.

I no i did all the hard work, i just got a push in the right direction,as well as PUA material i have studied physiology.

I no exactly why i have achieved what i have, and why i wasn't before, it is very clear,

I think you should study physiology then study yourself, cause your perceptions are really off the mark here, your not seeing things clearly.

If your anti PUA why are you posting on a PUA forum over 600 posts, leave this forum to those that believe in the PUA community, maybe you can start your own forum or somit.

lol keep it open jaz this is fun,

So did you try this PUA stuff, and failed and thats why your so bitter.

I would be interested to no,what you tried/studied,what you spent your money on,and the reactions you got from people.

I do believe there is some bull shit in the community people just trying to sell the product, its just marketing, tell you what u want to hear.

Am not faking anything,another wrong perception which is insulting, Its your ignorant perceptions that piss me off.

Very limited narrow mind.

Your trying to make a clever point, but your not comprehending what is being said correctly. Is it wisdom you have, or is it just blind irrational perception to make yourself feel better.

But your comment about lacking compassion maybe helpful to me, but on the other hand to seek compassion is weak. Very AFC.

I shouldn't have put AFC, it can be deleted from the post.

The comment about following guidelines that have been dictated to me, you make it sound like people are being brain washed, I can't speak for everybody, but thats not what it has been like for me,which is why its insulting.

Its as simple as this, i listened to information, if i agreed and liked what i was reading, i would take it on board, if i didn't i just discarded it, i used my own judgment to decide what i thought would work for me.

Using good body language when approaching,and being willing to walk away, is excellent advise,

What possible harm to anybody would this bring, its good social intelligence.