Has anyone got any recommendations for books, dvds etc on conversation skills or with analysis of conversation structure.
The one part of Gamblers book that stood out was the chapter on mid game/interesting small talk(around p114 if you have the book).

Things like; 'Ask leading questions - instead of 'Where are you from? - Ask 'Are you from Sweden?'


Or


Instead of asking questions; make funny guesses.


He also has a great piece about not relating everything she says to your own experiences,

For example(I'm paraphrasing) If she says 'I'm going to New York next week' - Don't jump into something about how you have been to NYC and what you did there. Instead talk about what she can do their, for example.


This is something I have noticed myself - people talk to you about something they have done, and even though its interesting, your eyes glaze over because you are not involved in the conversation. I know I am guilty of boring people with stories of my adventures too.
Also I find it painful when people ask me where I'm from, or something like that, because I can immediately map how the conversation will go. Its far more interesting if you make a statement to keep a conversation going.


I think this is an important area for anyone wanting to be natural with woman or engaging in general.

Gambler doesn't strike me as an innovator; I would imagine he picked up these theories rather than invented them, so; can anyone recommend any further reading on the subject. Or help me out with some insights of their own?

How weird - I have just recomended his book to Clipper on here...and as I said to him there are some really good useful bits in there - I'm sure I saw a list of questions on here somewhere fairly recently, questions like 'What is the one thing you can't live without?' and 'What makes you an interesting person?' and they are great stock questions to carry for when you meet someone...you'll probably be the only guy that night that didn't ask her where she was from/how old she was/where she worked etc (unless she meets other PUA's lol) and you'll stand out a lot by just this - it's all about making a connection and her thinking she has met somebody different.

What Shark said is good advice, especially for building a good rapport and establishing a connection - make a statement that reveals your personality a bit then encourage her to do the same. Example:

Me - My passion in life is music. I have music playing at every hour of the day in some form or another because it keeps me in touch with my creative side which is very important to me. What are you passionate about?

If you want some good reading material check out Juggler Method. This is his forte and I'm a big fan of his stuff (although the lads are probably sick to the back teeth of me bumming his teachings by now!)

Thanks for the advice. I've found it very useful to have a few good questions to ask. I was having dinner with a big group the other day. There was very cute asian girl I didn't now there. To keep the story short, I moved close to her and the people she knew at the table, and worked the set. Turns out she was a doctor.
At some point I asked her; Is it ok to break up with someone by txt? Of course she said no, but it took us into a great conversation about relationships. I ended up not getting a number cas we were always in the middle of our friends and I couldn't find a way around that. But will see her again soon.

Thanks for the advice about Juggler, I have been meaning to look into his stuff for a while. I like your advice about talking about your passions. The 'work' I do is interesting and I love it - but I'm not sure thats the whole story...

For example I have a friend who loves traveling - he has been to some adventure places - but when he talks to girls about it he bores them to tears. I have witnessed it a few times. I think there is something in how you talk about it and what exactly you talk about. With traveling, as an example, I think it is more engaging to talk about the people you met and what they did, woman love gossip - rather than a list of the places you've been.

I'm not explaining this too well and its not even a fully formed theory in my head. Anyone understand what I mean?

I kind of do.

Truth be told, Im a terrible conversationalist with women.

They just love to talk about shit all the time. But I dont think a man should.

Im playing with something that is working for me.

With this girl Im with at the moment, i actually leave all the speaking to her and just listen, and say oh right, I see, in my deep sexy voice and smile at her. She loves it.

When I do open my mouth to talk its worth the wait and its confident, positive, funny, with good smooth body language, invading her personal space to show dominance etc and she loves it.

You're right its not about what you say or what responses you give, a lot of it is about the delivery.

Improv has helped me loads with this, controlling my frame 24/7.

Ross Jeffries and NLP also have a lot to say about this too... Altho everyone knows he's evil right..?

I love this line.


Interesting stuff mate. I would assume the girl you speak of has been with you for a while? I can't imagine just listening would work with a girl you have just approached. But I could be wrong. ( many of my gfs would not shut up, if I listened or not)


Actually I think the ability to look like you are really listening and interested is a genuine skill.

In the mask section of Improv, Keith Johnstone talks about how people seemed to have natural reactions to the different expressions on the faces of the masks. Maybe that's talking this idea too far but I'm curious about it.

A lot can def be said without words.

I am going to look into Ross Jeffries. Weird or not it can't hurt to see what he has to say.

Sorry for the delay in replying...

Im not that keen on this idea, it kinda plays to her desire to be heard all the time. Ignoring her can be fun too, less talk more play.

The most valuable thing I've learnt so far from all this is that a woman will mirror your state and follow you into it. Its like when she says I feel sad, she doesnt want sympathy, that will make her worse. She wants cheering up, so forget asking why just be positive and she'll follow you out of it.

Its so true even for guys, I've got one friend who always has a negative comment about everything and his experience of life is negative as a result (dispite being filthy rich). Eg we went to Morocco, 33 degrees on the beach and he comes out with - I f*cking hate sand, it gets everywhere. Its hard work but if you ignore it and continue with a different positive conversation with a strong frame, people will follow you into it.

If you want to improve talking with women then I dont doubt that this guy can out talk any woman.

Thanks for the reply guys but I wasn't suggesting you should look interested when you aren't.

Simply that being interested, and showing someone that you are interested are v different things.

To take an extreme example I have a good friend who looks at the corner of the room when he is talking to you. Its fucking annoying.

Since my last post here I have gotten some of Jugglers videos, and; they are fucking awesome. He has answered some of the questions I couldn't even ask properly. Talking in the 'I' perspective is genius.

Dolphin, being positive when those around you aren't is great advice. It is one of the best things I have got out of pua. Believe me I know people who could out misery your beach mate any day. Learning to re-frame bad situations and not let others negativity drag me down has made a huge difference to my life.

Kowalski, I think you inferred wrongly what I was saying. I would never suggest agreeing with her when you don't.
I learned that lesson the hard way. I have been there, I have been at fucking flea markets at 8am hungover, thinking ' I need to do this, I need to be the guy she says she wants' Never again. Jesus, I almost stopped drinking cas I taught she'd like that!

Juggler tackles this kind of situation brilliantly also.