Jo, where do you live?

maybe I can wing you one night and if you a second opinion...??

Joe you're getting very upset here that you've not got the system. The system for getting girls to go back with you...

But you're not seeing the forest for the trees here. There is no system.

Stop looking for 'steps' (god, they were terrible..) or the next stage nobody has told you yet.

There isn't one.

Now, accept that. Forget everything you think you know about girls and do only these three things from now on:

- Touch the girls more, elbows, back of hand, your hand hooked round her lower back (for gradual pull-in's only)
- Less is more, don't stick your tongue down her throat for ages, kiss once and move on asking more questions about her humorously unnecessary slim fast diet. Leave her wanting more.
- When you're ready, grab her hand firmly but not aggressively and tell her you're going back to yours to make milkshakes. Do this when you feel you want to. Best done from 2am->

This will get you laid.

Hey tebbs I am based in Cambridge. It would be good.

Hey HammerTime I always do the touching right that's how i get them at the first place. I know I do the talking wrong coz I go blank and you know it's just that when I am with a girl I just met for a long time she actually loses interest in me and leaves. So I never get the chance to ask them if they wanna go home with me.

You didn't read my post correctly.

You don't ask her if they want to go home with you. Never do that, never give the girl the power like that. Think of it this way, if you say do you want to go home with you, in the girls eye's you're effectively saying, "So are you an easy slut? If so it'd be great if we could go back to mine, maybe? Please?"

You might as well cut your dick off and throw it into her drink - that's the only way you'll get it wet.

Be the man, lead her home.

Between kissing her and taking her home, just tease her. Bit of push and pull, take the piss out of her etc. Maybe go to the toilet after saying you'll be right back and leave her just a bit longer than you'd expect - she'll be wondering where you've gone.

If you go blank it's a confidence issue. To get over this you must stop giving a shit.

Adding to this. You need to start allowing yourself to speak your mind. I bet you don't have the same conversation problem with friends. Also, there is actually nothing wrong with silence, as long as you are comfortable with it.

All this is going to take practice, you need to start stepping out of your comfort zone more, and take some risks.

i don't have a problem with this kind of conversation. it's just difficult to come up with funny stuff on the spot. i can talk shit with a girl but I avoid asking questions. It's hard to explain if you guys see me in field then you would understand what I'm talking about. Silence is not the problem. It's just that you need to create this image of yours in the girls mind so that she remembers you. I am not being able to do that. I do actually sometimes to those girls who have a boyfriend already. I do that when i am not drunk and when I talk to them in the day. It doesn't ever seem to work on a single girl. Like last summers I had this fucking hot romanian girl who was living with her boyfriend and fucking me at the same time since she had problems with him and she liked him more. Then I moved to Cambridge from Cardiff and we sort of never in a relationship so I tried to talk to her but she has got a new boyfriend now apparently.

About the comfort zone, I don't have a problem with that. I have made out with girls saying weird funny stuff. My favorite was a challenge from my friend when there was a cops and robbers dress code on this night. I made out with three girls by using the line "Cops or Cocks?" as it was a bet from my friend.

HammerTime like you said that you never ask her to go home with you. So do you just instead of questioning her, tell her that you are going home.

If so, why is she gonna come with you? Coz you aren't even inviting her to yours?

Don't try and be funny, else it won't be funny. Funny is spontaneity, and if anything a girl will laugh at anything you say if she is attracted. Bottom line, don't be a dancing entertainer monkey, the girl won't appreciate it.

Is there a reasoning behind you avoiding asking her questions?

It's not an interrogation. You are the man, you take the lead. You take her home, that's the mindset.

Don't 'talk crap' to a girl. Have an engaging conversation (alcohol permitting) and ask her questions to keep her talking if you like. Asking questions to genuinely find out more about her is fine, just don't ask her questions when it comes to decision making.

I think someone on this forum could do with winging you to find out a little more. Your problem is that you're hanging on too much to the fact you can pull girls relatively easily. This is your confidence boost.

Unfortunately, you need to forget what you think you know - because your way of 'pulling' girls at the moment is not sustainable, aka it won't let you take them home. Forget and re-learn.

So you mean to say everything I do is totally wrong?

I am gonna try having engaging conversations with them without trying to kiss them. And then I'm gonna see how it goes. But that way I suppose that they think that you are not confident enough. That's why I am close to them making slight body contact sometimes.

Jo your doing what i did when I first started, you are worrying too much. your letting it fuck you up too much.

Ive never met hammertime, but he is bang on in every one of his posts. The only advice I could give you would be to copy and paste his posts.

To snog them, they must be attracted to you, this is good. Then you're fucking it up. Im going to throw a wild guess and say afterwards youre maybe being a bit too clingy and hectic ?? which is transmitting like hammertime said "dic in a glass" theory.

Come out one night in St Albans with me and my 3 boys and see how we do conversations. 2 of us are intermediate/advanced and the other 2 beginners. Ask her a leading question, lean back, let her answer, pause, use what she says and move on from there. If she likes you, shell help you out. thats part of qualification

Also are you drinking lot when you are out??, I can promise you mate. if you are half cut you dont be able to run sets as well as if you had maybe just one beer to take the edge off.

I normally do one beer at the beginning of the night and one at the end to reward myself. call me a faggot, but ive learnt not to be smashed when taking to chicks and dealing with fatties, amogs, whilst keeping an eye on whats happening around me and here. Theres no way youll do that will 6 pints inside you.