Hey guys,

There's these two girls I really have a chance with. But the problem is that they are both coming to this party tomorrow and they don't know each other yet. The problem is that I would like to take a chance with this one of them who I think also likes me. But I'm not sure. The other one is a really good friend and I don't know what kind of feelings she has towards me. What do I do? It's so fucked up. N I think if I don't take a chance with the first one I might lose the chance and put her in my friend zone like the other one.

Need your suggestions to survive this one.

What if, you don't pull either of them? Have you thought about that? Do. It's a likely outcome.

I would just go off the bat on the night, whatever feels right at the time. Personally, I would gravitate towards the one that isn't your good friend.

Your good friend may well get jealous anyway, but act cool - then you can pick up on it and tease her afterwards.

This is not 'so fucked up' - it's the sort of thing that happens at nearly every party ever conceived, you've just not noticed it before.

Attend with no expectations, then you won't be disappointed at the end - and you may just have yourself a great time, as opposed to being inside your head all night.

Also, I'd think of this as a good opportunity to gauge which one like YOU the most. Mannerisms give away more after a few drinks and IOI's are more blatant.

Guys. I fucked it up. I told one of them that I liked her and she acted so weirdly after. She tried to sleep with my friend and I just lost control. She came to my room later n said that she doesn't like me n I was a really good friend and I blew her chance with my friend. N my friend did not sleep with her. I asked them both to go do it. But he didn't n she still wanted to. Then we put her in a cab n she went home. She called me n said your friend is a good guy bla bla. N then she called twice n I didn't pick up. This was last night. It's fucked up cos we have a lot of mutual friends. What do I do today? Should I wait for her call or call her as she was my friend. I think me telling her that I like and my friend telling her she doesn't; this thing make her want him more. N I lost the game. Do I still have any chance for anything? Advice would be helpful.

You care FAR too much, move on.

Unless you live in a small village it doesn't really matter, thousands of women out there.

and view this positively as a learning experience

This isn't the first time something like this happened. I try not to do this but I can't reprogramme my mind not to do it. Is there a fix for this or should I just forget it n not do anything further?

Yes there is a 'fix', reality.

The 'reality' is that there is an abundance of women out there. Of which there is also an abundance of single ones which will want you for who you are. Go out there and realise this for yourself.

There will also be ones that will like you and you won't like, there will be some that you want and they don't want you, but that's okay. Not everyone is supposed to like you, as you start to accept this you will care less and less about the ones that don't.

With time your ratios will improve and as you begin to see the abundance you won't care so much.

Db

The only fix for your state of mind involves changing how you view women. This involves going out and pushing yourself to becoming comfortable with them. This is not a quick fix either.

Your first step involves you getting out there and approaching new girls beyond the confines of your social circle. From here you can start to work on your issues.

@amit1207: I am based in Cambridge.

Db: I agree with you a lot. There are ones that like you but you don't like them, and there are the ones that you like and they don't want you. I haven't found one who I like and she wants me. I do get with girls sometimes you know but I don't feel anything about them. Its just like doing something just for the sake of doing it.

nova: I am comfortable with women very much and the problem I have is that there are too many women who I am friends with and it's hard to identify which ones like me. So it also makes me think twice before I try to hit on another girl when I am with them because I am afraid that thy would think wrongly of me. So I also want to understand how I should approach this thing without fucking up everything else.