As a new member of the forums and someone who has recently discovered this community I want to introduce myself further, and learn as much as I possibly can.

I am 20, I would rate myself a 6-7, but when I'm feeling confident I start to believe I'm perfect. However, I still feel anxious at approaching women, even last night I went into a bar with a friend and saw a girl sitting on her own and although I've read quite a bit of different techniques, I had forgotten all of it and was just stood there looking awkwardly at her.

I have had some suggestions on reading material and I am going to take ALL of those and work on my inner game. But I also know it's useless if you don't go out there and practice.

So this here is my introduction to what will be a journal of my PU adventure.

I'm going to a house party tonight, I'm going to walk around and short set for a while after getting myself hyped. And then I'm going to follow the 3 second rule and just jump in at the deep end. I expect to get blown out and expect it not to be pretty and probably dent my confidence. But now I've posted this here, I will feel better about getting 0 closes from 10 approaches and reporting back, to people who have been there before. And that should help me persist this steep learning curve!

I'll report back tonight / tomorrow.

Jaw.

wow if you're at a house party and try to talk to 10 people and they all blow out, you go to some pretty shit house parties.

Hi Jaw

Cool avatar, good luck in your journey
Please don't count the number of approaches that u made. I think it might hold u back. Your goal should be approach, approach, approach. The end goal is never number of approaches. The end goal is to close a hot girl. Keep going til u hit your goal. Approach, approach, approach and more easily keep in positive PU state by doing so. Be the awesome guy who approaches. At your house party, talk to guys and girls. As u r beginner I would say get to know EVERYONE is your goal, with closing a girl only at back of your mind. Girls will be attracted by your social awesomeness.

Welcome along!

Listen to what Rebus said and seriously don't worry about what some random chick thinks. Just keep approaching - You soon learn what to talk about and how to talk about it.

Welcome on board! Yes, Rebus is spot on.. I approach ALL the time too and it works wonders especially with the hot ones.. Maybe it's because people don't chat them up often..

It gets better with practice.. I have observed that most womnen - like 90% of them; will talk to you. Then, the rest is up to you and how you play your cards..

Go for it!!!

Welcome on board! These guys are spot on.. I approach women ALL the time too.. And it works wonders!! Especially with the hot ones.. Maybe it's because blokes don't chat them up often..

From my experience, most women are nice and will talk to you once you walk up to them (even if they are in a committed relationship, are having a bad day, etc).. Then, the rest is up to you and how you play your cards..

Also, I think women know that it's not so easy to walk up to a complete stranger and start a convo.. Plus, confidence is a MASSIVE turn-on for hot women..


Go for it.. The closing will take care of itself!! - And let's know how it goes.. Also, you can try using canned openers for group settings.. I have had 100% success with them!

Okay thanks for the responses. I did exactly what Rebus suggested and talked to everyone who was there.
So I got into the taxi and made it to the house party, only to find there were NO girls there. This is not how house parties are supposed to be!

2 girls turned up, but didn't leave the arms of their boyfriends for the whole duration of the time. I got chatting to them anyway, but I didn't really have the confidence (or the disrespect) to try and isolate or PU either of them.

So I just had a good time and chatted to everyone I could but found a couple of my friends weren't happy with the setting either, and so we headed into town.

Arriving at the club I greeted everyone that I came across, got in a couple conversations with groups and even got a couple drinks bought for me, and then started thinking about approaches.

With this new drive I had to approach women, I had also gained a massive amount of AA, I was telling myself '3 second rule, 3 second rule, just say anything and that will be the approach' but the second I laid eyes on a girl it was just 'oh she's busy with her friends; she's probably with that guy; she seems too moody' etc. I had never been so frustrated with myself in my life. It was like 2 people trying to rip each other apart in my head.

I spotted a girl sat down, people nearby but she was alone and texting. 'Oh she's busy on her phone'.. but wait, I'm walking towards her, this is it! I sat down on the chair next to her, she looked up.

Me: 'You look REALLY bored.' (I didn't think about anything I just sat down and opened my mouth, at this point I had forgotten all I have read on body language, openers, techniques. I was just talking.)
Her: *awkward smile* yeah I suppose so.
Me: Surely you can sit down and text at home? Why do it here.
Her: Oh I was dancing just now, and my friends are just there
Me: (I was overthinking what I should be saying, but after a small but awkward pause, I remembered a conversation opener, I had heard before.) So a couple of my friends think I should do something different with my hair, like blonde highlights, do you think that would work on me?
Her: *looking at my hair* Hmm.. Nah I think it would look stupid.
Me: (I don't know why I said this) But I've seen a lot of gay guys with blonde highlights, and gay men are stylish right?!
Her: Maybe, but I still think it would look stupid.
Me: Okay I think I'll just have to peroxide the lot then.
Her: *giggle, followed by an awkward pause*
Me: (struggling to keep the conversation flowing) So what do you do when you're not in a club being bored?
Her: Oh I work at Sports Direct
Me: Oh.. really?! Is that where you got that top (trying to subtly neg her obviously fashionable clothes)
Her: .. No?? (lost on her)
- my friend walks over and sits on a nearby chair, I look at him, smile and say 'hey' then turned my attention back to her. I felt I should have talked to him more, maybe mocking her to show I'm not putting her on a pedestal, and to show some 'social awesomeness' But he realized what was going on and walked away, probably highlighting the fact I was trying to hit on her but wasn't being up front about it.
Me: So is that just a stopgap before you do something else or is that your dream? (I continued)
Her: I want to be a hairdresser, I've applied for an apprenticeship
Me: If you want to get the job you may have to do better than that *picking up a tuft of her hair and dropping it again*
Her: *a hurt look in her eyes with a slight smile*
Me: well at least if you do get the job I have someone who will peroxide my hair
Her: I would turn you away.. It would be a crime
Me: I'll take my business elsewhere then!

Conversation hit a wall. I felt like although she showed a little interest, the conversation had gone stale but my AFC side convinced myself she wasn't interested in anything with me.

Me: Anyway, what was your name again? (she never told me in the first place)
Her: Martha
Me: Anyway Martha, *stands up and takes her hand* Although this was nice, I'm going to go make the most of my evening. If I feel like sitting in a dark corner being bored I'll come find you.
Her: *laughing* Okay

and that was it. I found my friend, who asked 'wow who was she?'
Me:Martha apparently
Him: she's sat on her own now, why aren't you talking to her
Me: The conversation got boring
Him: Shame.. Anyway we need to go, or (friend 2) is getting in a fight..

So that was the end of the night. Walking out of the club 20 minutes later after trying to defuse a situation my friend was in (funnily enough about him sleeping with this guys ex.. He's a natural alpha) I spotted Martha stood next to some guy in the smoking area, looking less interested than she was when sat with me.

My Analysis:

Massive AA - I need to sort that quickly, it's killing me.
More canned material - As much as I prefer to have a natural conversation, I'm evidently not the best at keeping it flowing (yet) and so I think I should rehearse some openers and conversation topics before next time to use as a crutch to support myself.
Try to close - I'm too scared of being blown out, that's why I didn't go for a #close.
I also need to work on my talking, as at points she didn't hear what I said and I had to repeat myself. I think I might talk a bit too fast.

Tips on how I can achieve those points and further analysis will be MUCH appreciated!

Also, my company wasn't the best. One of them had a girlfriend and so was relying on me for company (the one that came and sat down) and the other was only going to the club to see the girl he has been seeing.. but him getting into a confrontation took me away from my 'practice'.

I am near Bristol and have posted in the need a wings section, but I am enthusiastic about getting out with someone who will push me and stop me from listening to the inner AFC.

Right, hope this helps. So, you need to stop "negging" and trying to force status, as a cure all tactic for every comment, it should be a playful back AND forth, not a continual knocking the esteem of some unresponsive cold fish. You need a smirk and a glint in your eye and to get a vibe on the go that she participates in and things get fun and flirty back and forth. This is what is meant by social intelligence. You want frame control but not at the expense of someone else constantly. A natural doesn't do this, he's orchestrating the fun and enduring his fair share of piss taking in good spirits. See below.

insult number 1

insult numbers 2 and possibly 3

contrived, she knows what you want

basically saying you're not gay and are interested, she sees through this

she's still disinterested

why exactly, because you bow to popular demand?

Insult 4

Insult 5

Insult 6, don't presume, maybe she likes working there or her dad owns the franchise, you never know what a person's life is like

Insult 7

Insult 8 - you latched onto this concept of her being boring and ran into a wall with it, I know why but it hurt you ultimately

Buy Juggler's ebook, it will get you around the need for incongruent material to slot into the conversation, if you apply it. I'll wager half your AA is not knowing what to say, mine was, this book helped me a lot.

Yeah not saying it's easy, I pussed out this weekend of closing a girl who was so fit she knocked me out of state, getting easier though just keep at it and try to focus on amusing yourself regardless of outcome.

Anyways, don't mean to be negative, keep at it.

PS

For ages I studied canned material but just never made approaches. Then I discovered this forum and all the inner game/natural stuff out there and it helped a lot!

The following thread was a good one for getting the confidence to approach....

http://www.puaforum.co.uk/reviews/39...must-read.html