Right, hope this helps. So, you need to stop "negging" and trying to force status, as a cure all tactic for every comment, it should be a playful back AND forth, not a continual knocking the esteem of some unresponsive cold fish. You need a smirk and a glint in your eye and to get a vibe on the go that she participates in and things get fun and flirty back and forth. This is what is meant by social intelligence. You want frame control but not at the expense of someone else constantly. A natural doesn't do this, he's orchestrating the fun and enduring his fair share of piss taking in good spirits. See below.
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Me: 'You look REALLY bored.' (I didn't think about anything I just sat down and opened my mouth, at this point I had forgotten all I have read on body language, openers, techniques. I was just talking.)
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insult number 1
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Her: *awkward smile* yeah I suppose so.
Me: Surely you can sit down and text at home? Why do it here.
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insult numbers 2 and possibly 3
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Her: Oh I was dancing just now, and my friends are just there
Me: (I was overthinking what I should be saying, but after a small but awkward pause, I remembered a conversation opener, I had heard before.) So a couple of my friends think I should do something different with my hair, like blonde highlights, do you think that would work on me?
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contrived, she knows what you want
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Her: *looking at my hair* Hmm.. Nah I think it would look stupid.
Me: (I don't know why I said this) But I've seen a lot of gay guys with blonde highlights, and gay men are stylish right?!
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basically saying you're not gay and are interested, she sees through this
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Her: Maybe, but I still think it would look stupid.
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she's still disinterested
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Me: Okay I think I'll just have to peroxide the lot then.
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why exactly, because you bow to popular demand?
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Her: *giggle, followed by an awkward pause*
Me: (struggling to keep the conversation flowing) So what do you do when you're not in a club being bored?
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Insult 4
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Her: Oh I work at Sports Direct
Me: Oh.. really?! Is that where you got that top (trying to subtly neg her obviously fashionable clothes)
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Insult 5
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Her: .. No?? (lost on her)
- my friend walks over and sits on a nearby chair, I look at him, smile and say 'hey' then turned my attention back to her. I felt I should have talked to him more, maybe mocking her to show I'm not putting her on a pedestal, and to show some 'social awesomeness' But he realized what was going on and walked away, probably highlighting the fact I was trying to hit on her but wasn't being up front about it.
Me: So is that just a stopgap before you do something else or is that your dream? (I continued)
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Insult 6, don't presume, maybe she likes working there or her dad owns the franchise, you never know what a person's life is like
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Her: I want to be a hairdresser, I've applied for an apprenticeship
Me: If you want to get the job you may have to do better than that *picking up a tuft of her hair and dropping it again*
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Insult 7
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Her: *a hurt look in her eyes with a slight smile*
Me: well at least if you do get the job I have someone who will peroxide my hair
Her: I would turn you away.. It would be a crime
Me: I'll take my business elsewhere then!
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Me: Anyway, what was your name again? (she never told me in the first place)
Her: Martha
Me: Anyway Martha, *stands up and takes her hand* Although this was nice, I'm going to go make the most of my evening. If I feel like sitting in a dark corner being bored I'll come find you.
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Insult 8 - you latched onto this concept of her being boring and ran into a wall with it, I know why but it hurt you ultimately
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Massive AA - I need to sort that quickly, it's killing me.
More canned material - As much as I prefer to have a natural conversation, I'm evidently not the best at keeping it flowing (yet) and so I think I should rehearse some openers and conversation topics before next time to use as a crutch to support myself.
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Buy Juggler's ebook, it will get you around the need for incongruent material to slot into the conversation, if you apply it. I'll wager half your AA is not knowing what to say, mine was, this book helped me a lot.
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Try to close - I'm too scared of being blown out, that's why I didn't go for a #close.
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Yeah not saying it's easy, I pussed out this weekend of closing a girl who was so fit she knocked me out of state, getting easier though just keep at it and try to focus on amusing yourself regardless of outcome.
Anyways, don't mean to be negative, keep at it.
PS