I accept what you say, I'll try and explain what I was thinking but I am aware I have to work on ALL areas of my game, and I will follow people's guidance and work a change.
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Right, hope this helps. So, you need to stop "negging" and trying to force status, as a cure all tactic for every comment, it should be a playful back AND forth, not a continual knocking the esteem of some unresponsive cold fish.
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I was trying to bring a bit of back and forth in.. e.g. the peroxide was a joke aimed to bring out a reaction, etc. I was hoping that if I gave her something to bite at we might have a to and fro, but granted it did turn out that I was just bashing her with no return.
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You need a smirk and a glint in your eye and to get a vibe on the go that she participates in and things get fun and flirty back and forth. This is what is meant by social intelligence. You want frame control but not at the expense of someone else constantly. A natural doesn't do this, he's orchestrating the fun and enduring his fair share of piss taking in good spirits. See below.
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Frame control is a concept I'm aware of but I haven't really looked into how to use it. I will read further and put it into practice.
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contrived, she knows what you want
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It was pretty transparent I agree, in future if I do just blunder and make it obvious what's going on, I should just all or nothing and try to close without wasting any more time?
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You latched onto this concept of her being boring and ran into a wall with it, I know why but it hurt you ultimately
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She didn't seem to happy from the start, she obviously wasn't having a good time before I approached and I think my main pitfall was not being able to bring it back up to tempo, I kept maintaining a positive attitude, but I think coupling that with something a bit more fun and interesting instead of a stream of verbal beatings would have been a bit more effective.
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I'll wager half your AA is not knowing what to say
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I wouldn't bet against you there. I'll check it out.
Thanks for taking the time to go through and give me feedback, PS, I'm taking it on board and wont waste your time
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The following thread was a good one for getting the confidence to approach....
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Thanks Whistle, I'll grab it if I see it out.. So much material on my list now!
07-06-2011, 05:59 PM
