Well last night i ended up in Hull with my friend. Both of us remained sober due to early starts this morning.
From stepping in the door, this place was wall to wall crammed with some of the hottest girls i've ever seen in one place at one time. Around 80% 8 and 9's, the rest 6 and 7 in often large sets.
We got a coke and did a lap of the many rooms to evaluate the situation.
We were ready to go, my friend (bit of a natural pua) was up for me showing how its done and was my acting wingman for the night.
It all goes downhill from here.
I had the 'is kissing cheating' opener prepared. A set was close so i started to step to it. Then i completely froze. AA hit me like a fucking right hook from Lennox. These women were stunning, all i could think about was the rejection i was about to face.
My wing couldnt have been more encouraging and supportive, he was ready to take anything they would throw at us. I have absolute trust in him.
But even so, we spent the whole night wandering from room to room but each set either was 'in to large a group, 'in the wrong location', 'in to loud a room' etc.
We had a minute sat down and i realised i had just spent the night making excuse after excuse of why we shouldnt open the set.
At this moment, a 2 set opened my friend. Something immediately mentally raped me, and i clammed up absolutely silent thinking 'ffs just talk to them you fucking pussy'. I didnt and they soon left which left my wing wondering what the fuck i was playing at.
We left soon after, with me feeling like an absolute twat. With the amount of hot girls in that club and my aa catastrophe, i really let the pair of us down.

My conclusion.
I feel this is the lowest i could ever sink. It's not like i constantly failed, it's that i didnt even try. Mr Bean would have more balls to sarge than i did last night. I see this as rock bottom, so which is the only direction i have to go? Up of course. Which, in a backwards way, is a good thing. My target next time is to open 1 set. Just the 1, and build from there.
The first interaction for me is a damn tough barrier to break, but i will NEVER let last night happen again.
Bring on next weekend!

next time add a double Jack Daniels to your Coke!

oh get over yourself.

who gives a f*ck... errrr..... you. That's it.

As the opinion of some random women and your wing -- who is supposed to be a mate, right? -- on your behaviour on that particular night-out isn't important.

You should start the night off by talking with EVERYONE -- less attractive women, blokes, bar staff --- to warm up and also just help create a convivial atmosphere.

And use situational openers more, rather than too much canned 'is kissing cheating' etc... for example, a SIMPLE and situational opener is saying to a chick near you at the busy bar (having chosen to walk over get served very near her), say something about how it is a nightmare to get served, such as "hey! I can't believe how long it takes to get served here!"... "it's like all the bar staff think they are on a holiday!" or "bar staff spend all their time pissing about making with these silly cocktails but I just want a BEER!" and smile. She will agree with you, and now you can build to have a conversation with her...)

Things will get better.

with a double Jack Daniels and Coke

In a strange sort of way, I would say this is good for you.

I've been there before. A few nights I've been out with the intention of sarging, and ended up going home not uttering a word to anybody. I'm sure you feel like a bit of a pleb and rediculously disappointed in yourself. I'm sure you're kicking yourself HARD for not taking those small steps and simply saying hi to that pretty girl that caught your eye.

Next time your out, remember that horrible, strong feeling of regret from this night you experienced in this post. Remember that the regret of not doing anything at all will be far, far greater than the regret of approaching and possibly being rejected.

I'm no saying I'm perfect here. I still don't approach as much as I'd like. But before I'd go out and not approach girls at all. Now I think about the regret I felt from those nights and there hasn't been a night recently where I haven't approached at least once.

Maybe even try and approach your first set of the night with the intention of getting rejected? You'll be suprised of the satisfaction you get from this. As an example, Thursday night, I'd been out for a while and not approached. With the intention of getting rejected I opened the girl next to me at the bar. Me: "you having a good night?" her: "yeah" me: I have the biggest craving for tuna" she laughed hysterically and told her mates what I had just said. Her "why the fuck are you telling me this?" bizarrely the conversation continued for a bit but in the end I was rejected. I was left with an oddly satisfied feeling and ended up opening 7 more sets that night. I recommend you give it a go.

The other lads might not agree with this. But it's working for me.

I agree Cefai. The thing that put me off was thinking 'oh god these girls are hot and my mates watching so this has to go perfectly'. I will keep in mind going in with the intention of being rejected, as i think this will decrease the pressure immensely. Then at least if i get rejected i will be ready for it and if i succeed its just a bonus. I know its so simple its just ive never done it sober before.
I dont want to have to drink to be able to pick up women, as thats not using any skill or style. Its just the alcohol doing all the work for you.

Rebus - Yes, i do give a fuck. If i didnt i wouldnt bother with any of this. It means something to me to develop confidence in myself. I know the girls may not remember me the next day but i have to live with myself my whole life. And yes, to me this is my lowest point. Im not feeling sorry for myself im trying to look at this in a positive way' the only way is up' etc.

I see where you are both coming from and i'll definately take on board what you have said so thanks for that.

i can relate to exactly how u feel, i actually had more success at times with girls at clubs before i learnt about pua, but since i learnt wat is the 'right' and 'wrong' thing to do it is easy to overanalyse everything.

i had success wen i went out with the mission of having fun and wud just happen to find a girl, this wasnt conisistent tho as i didnt know wat i was doin to attract them. know that i know pua it means i can replicate this more often but AA gets in the way.

the thing is that if your going out with the sole purpose of picking up girls, using openers etc and nothing else then ur going to get the "yips", were u overthink everythin and u cant relax and let ur unconcious mind take over.

you should have small talk with people on the way to the club, the doorstaff, the barman and any girls near you at the bar, get in a social mood, ur not there to pickup ur there to have fun and be as sociable as u can. wen u dont think that u have to pick up a girl or have to approach, it takes pressure off u, so go out and have fun and jus say she looks friendly i want to be social and say hello. rejection shudnt be in ur head cos all ur doing is being friendly and sociable.

hopefully u get wat i mean from this, try not to just stand and think i cant approach becasue of this or that, ur puttin too much pressure on nothing, fuk it they want to be approached other wise they wudnt be dressed like thatway in fact check out mensroom.tv some good interviews with the guys from keys to the vip, they will give u a good frame of mind

peace

Word!!

Don't be hard on yourself Mantis. We've all had those nights mate, especially at the beginning.

Don't dwell on it. Get yourself back out in the field. Remember you've already got all the tools you could possibly need to meet girls. All you need to do is work out where they are and how to use them.

also, you've already got all the tools you could possibly need to shag girls.