Yeah we had fun last night mate. I definitely need to be more social and I feel we should have opened more sets. Just practise I guess. That final 2 set was really good though. Both girls were hot, high energy and were receptive. My target seemed quite surprised when I said that we were off to another bar and the number close was pretty easy. We had spoken about best and worst dates during our conversation cos her questioning style felt like we were on a date. I may need some ideas for exciting dates.....

I did have a question about winging etiquette. This didn't happen last night, but what happens if you open a set and have a particular target in mind but when your wing comes in, she actually is more interested in them. I have no problem in stepping aside cos it's a team game right??!

So yeah was a good night. Need to approach more people but I felt that the 2 set that CO opened went really well . It is good too and easier when they are both hot because you don't have to worry about your wing feeling he's wasting sarging time staying in a set that will not go anywhere (for him). Wish we had more time but can't be out till the early hours with work in the morning.

Tonight, myself and three of the lads headed off into town for a few hours of finding girlies to chat too. We were hoping to be joined by a fifth Pick Up Artist - only this one is female! Sadly she couldn't make it tonight, but I'm very much looking forward to getting out with her as well sometime soon. Having met up with her earlier this week for a cup of (very odd looking) tea, I'm happy that it isn't just blokes that this community can help out.

Anyway, as I headed out tonight, I could feel something different was at work inside me. This week, I've started to openly tell people 'I don't drink'. It has started to become part of my identity, and as it has, I've felt very happy with myself. I've always said I care way too much what other people think about me, and as I explained here, I came to realise that the main reason I ever drank on nights out - an activity I don't actually enjoy a great deal at times - was through fear of what people would think of me if I said that I didn't want too.

As the week has gone on, and as I've started to assume my 'non drinker' identity, I've learned not to really care what other people think about that. I think that may have started to show through tonight. I also watched a little of The Blueprint right before leaving the flat, Tyler Durden setting out some of his impeccable logic on social conditioning. So as I arrived at Hannah's Bar to meet the others, I was in a really good frame of mind.

We were in the bar for a few minutes when we spotted a bunch of girls in fancy dress heading upstairs. We followed, and found the upstairs bar packed with people - ostensibly the Liverpool Uni Law Society - on a fancy dress night out. This was an excellent opportunity: we usually game from 9pm to midnight during the week, all of us being up for work early the morning after and so unable to stay out particularly late. This has the disadvantage that finding places with other people in can be a challenge. So finding so many girls in one place so early in the night wasn't an opportunity we were about to let slip away. Darkstar broke off and instantly opened a two set. By the end of the evening he had number closed both of them - a sterling effort, and I applaud him for that!

So what about me? Since the beginning of September, as you might know, I've been trying to reignite my gameing after a few months away. I've had issues again with AA, with my game more broadly, and to be honest I've been struggling a little. So I knew that how I reacted to my first chance of a set tonight was going to be crucial. Darkstar spotted a three set stood in fancy dress at a table behind us. 'Theres a set' he said to me.

I looked around and nodded. 'Yeah, there's a set'.

In previous weeks, I'd have stood there, rooted to the spot, allowing AA to take over and getting stuck in my head about what the hell I would say, before ultimately not saying anything at all. But tonight was different. When I knew the set was there for the taking, I turned, wandered over, and opened asking the girls 'Hey guys - are you in fancy dress?'.

Obviously the joke is that, since they were in outrageous fancy dress, it should have been obvious, and I shouldn't have had to ask (don't worry, I'll pick up that comedy BAFTA at the weekend). They didn't react too badly, so I began chatting to a girl to my left. She didn't seem to fussed, so I switched to the girl to my right, a petite dark haired girl who turned out to be the event organiser. I started to rib her about this, saying she was obviously the bossy one who was head girl at school.

I then focussed on the third girl sat opposite, trying to bring her into the conversation a little - a slim, blonde girl with really pretty eyes. And, frankly, stunning legs.

CO: So, whats this all about then?
HB: We're in the legal society.
CO: That sounds a bit mental.
HB: What?
CO: Well, what's illegal about you, you all look at least 18?
HB: No, not the illegal society, the Legal Society.

Que round table laughter. I don't hear particularly well at times. I've played drums since the age of 9 years old, and only came round to the idea of wearing ear plugs when I was in my 20s. That's what a decade of drums does to you. But I often find it also provides a nice point to make a joke - the whole 'I though you said...' thing. Especially if I can make it outrageous, and then continue to make jokes about what I'd heard wrong. In this case, the Illegal Society did its job, providing me with a hook to hang several jokes on throughout the set.

In an effort to hear the girl better, I spun around the table and sat down next to her (I didn't do this because I needed to 'lock into the set' or any of that bollocks. It just seems natural to sit down if you're talking to someone else who's sat down, and regularly do it quite unconsciously). And we had a really, really great conversation. She started by asking me why I was there, which I responded with the usual web of rubbish (again, hat tip David DeAngelo - never give a straight answer. Its much more fun to make stuff up):

CO: Oh, I'm a law graduate.
HB: No you're not.
CO: Seriously. I've just had a pretty major breakthrough in a case. My guy is definitely guilty - they found the guns in his car. But the jury is still out, it has been for three days now. I think I've done pretty good to get this far. So we're out celebrating.

Just talk shit guys, its fun!

Another of my pick up issues began to chip away after about 10 minutes. I could see the guys back at the bar, and every bone in my body screamed at me to eject, and go back and join them. I'd opened this girl now, it had gone well, so I should go back to the guys.

But I forced myself to stay in set. We chatted away merrily for another couple of minutes. It was really great. It really was effortless.

Suddenly, everyone in the bar started to head for the door, ostensibly heading for the next bar on their route. By now, we'd blagged ourselves free wrist bands to join in with the Legal Soc pub crawl. As fancy dressed lawyers piled out through the door, the girl I was talking too - who's name was Katie (said in a brummie accent, which I duly took the piss out of) - was dragged away by her Head Girl mate who was struggling to stay in control of the party. This was my moment to number close... And I didn't go for it. Again, like last week, I missed my chance. If I'd have gone for it I reckon I'd have got it. Of course I'd have fucking got it, this girl was into me. But somehow, I let the chance slip by. 30 seconds later, she was gone. And so was fucking everyone else!

We regrouped at the bar. The last of the lawyers shuffled away, in this case girls dressed as Rubik's Cubes. I stopped one of them, and said 'I've got the perfect chat up line you can use tonight. You need to go up to guys, and say "Guys. I'm a Rubiks Cube. Can we talk? I think you might complete me!"' (Ok, 2 BAFTAs). She thought it was boss - and I just felt on fire!

With the bar now empty, we looked at each other wondering what to do. The decision was made to follow LawSoc to the next bar, Revolution. However, as we arrived, I knew instantly this was a mistake. We stuck out like sore thumbs: dressed normally, we clearly weren't in their group. People must have clocked us working around various sets in Hannah's Bar. But in there no-one cared, because we'd just happened to be in the same bar as them. But once we'd left the group only to then turn up at Revs, people spotted us for what we were - a bunch of non-student blokes, looking for girls. The atmosphere towards us changed notably. At one point, one of the guys was told in no uncertain terms, 'You're not in the Law Society, just go away'. Pretty straight forward, I guess.

So we left them to it, and headed off. I was already pretty buzzing from the night though, and as we wheeled around bars looking for somewhere populated, I opened a few more sets on the streets. I just felt fearless. In weeks past, I'd have walked on by these sets. But tonight, I just opened. It was good fun! Even when we got into Bumper, finding a different pub crawl (this time medics, who had imaginatively dressed up as... Er... Medics...), I opened a few very brief sets. At one point we went up to the bar, and a girl in front of me was giving her mate high fives. I held my hands up and looked at her expectantly. She grinned, and slapped my hands right back. I just felt sociable, I just felt happy to talk to anyone who would talk back. It was cool.

The night ended a little after this. As I say, we had to be in work (which is shit). But I was delighted with my night.

Conclusions and Action Points

My AA is slowly melting away again. That's great. I didn't even contemplate routines tonight either. That's also great - it's becoming normal for me to feel I can simply have conversations with girls. And my 'I don't drink' thing has made me see myself in a whole new way, and has actually given me a layer of confidence.

I just need to keep going now. I'm fighting and focussing the bits which are holding me back, and I am winning. I need to begin to close next. Very simply, I need to become a little more ruthless. I need to just go for it at every opportunity. Even after talking to that girl tonight, there was no point where I clicked from 'We're talking' mode into 'I am now going to work on trying to kiss you' mode. If anything needs work, its that - I need to have more intent, and show more intent. After all, I'm not talking to these girls because I want to be best mates with them. Its because, ideally, I'd eventually like to have sex with them!

Just broadly...

Just a final word about a few things. I feel like, right now, I am in a really good place. I feel as if everything I do at the moment is good, as if everything I touch turns to gold. I am beginning to feel more self confident. I'm going to the gym regularly, and I am in better shape than I've ever been. I won't lie, there is a moment every morning right now, right after I get out of the shower, where I look at myself in the mirror and think, 'Fuck me you're doing well'. I've even managed to do that thing where you make your pecs wiggle once or twice! I've never had pecs ever in my life!!

My professional life is going well. In work, I am really commanding everything I do like never before. I am learning to take decisions, and to be confident in those decisions. I am becoming a real leader at work, someone people in the office look too for direction, and someone who commands respect from people. I feel as if I am a likeable person. That's really great.

I'm just taking control of things like never before. Yesterday, I finally got round to satisfying a year long ambition, and bought myself quite an expensive DSLR camera. I want to begin to take arty pictures, and look forward to wandering around looking for things to photograph. Just something else I've wanted to do for a long time, but never got round to doing.

And from Monday next week, I am flying to China for three weeks away. I am on business for the first week. And then for the next two, I am simply travelling around on my own. I've got a route plotted around China, which I'll follow. I even extended my trip the other day, quite on a whim, so I can stop in Amsterdam for a few days on the way back, again on my own. I've never travelled on my own before (Mozambique was essentially with some friends), and I am looking forward to an experience that I think will make me a much more rounded, more confident person. That whole experience is going to teach me so much about myself. I think it will help me develop as a person to no end. And I can't fucking wait to get stuck in.

On the whole, I am very, very happy with where I am in life right now, and with the direction in which my life is pointing. The ease and confidence with which I approach things is beginning to emerge in all parts of my life, and like never before right across my life, I am taking action, and I am making things happen - pick up included.

Long may that continue.

Hi mate,
I really enjoyed last night was a good effort by all parties. Have fun in China mate and i will have fun "In Russia" lol you no what im talking about, see you when u get back.

So I'm back from China, and two weeks spent with a spinning head, and having to really work hard in strange places. It was the first time I've ever travelled alone, but a few times I found myself incredibly comfortable and at ease.

I won't go on too long (in an effort to begin travel writing, I'm going to produce a blog of my time in China which I'll happily post a link too here for anyone who wants to read my experiences in depth), but I wanted to make a few quick points about how pick up helped me during my time alone.

One night I was in a hostel in Shanghai. I was on my own, and had gone up to the hostel's bar with a book, with the intention being to find someone to have a chat too whilst not sitting there like a lemon. I spotted a lad also sat on his own at a table, who had some cigarettes and a lighter on the table. I pocketed my own lighter, and taking a cigarette of my own, I approached and asked him 'Excuse me mate, can I borrow your lighter?'. He said of course, so I lit up, and then asked if I could join him. He said no problem, I sat, and we chatted the night away (he was an Irish bloke called Paul, a lovely chap actually).

Thinking back, this was a canned opener of sorts. I pocketed my own lighter and approached on the pretence that I didn't have a lighter.

A few nights later, I was in Beijing at another hostel. I had gone to the common room, again to have a beer and read my book. As I was outside on my own having a cigarette, I could hear a card game starting inside with some of the other travellers. So, I went inside and asked straight up 'Hey guys, do you mind if I join you? I'm sort of on my own'. Of course they didn't mind, and we played cards, and spent the rest of the evening chatting away happily.

This was a natural opener - I didn't need any gimmicks to approach them. And for the rest of the trip, talking to people just became natural.

The upshot of it being, there's nothing wrong with being sociable. The reason you don't do it is because you're bothered about what the other person or people will think. This is mostly an imagined state of affairs which your own mind perpetuates. Most people really don't mind at all.

I did feel that 10 months of practicing pick up (albeit on and off) helped me to approach people while I was away. It removed my fear of talking to people, to a large extent. That was helpful to say the least.

As for girls while I was away - well not much happened. I don't normally find asian girls attractive, and despite one or two exceptions of girls I spotted around the country, that remains true. They just aren't my cup of tea, I guess. So there wasn't really any game to report back on. But two weeks of travelling around an incredibly strange country, one where very few people speak English, has done me some good. I've been out of my comfort zone again, and have had to learn to look after myself a little more. That's all good stuff!

Hoping to get out to town very soon now I'm back, and so hopefully there'll be more to report along the usual FR lines soon

These reports are awesome and really well written! I can really relate to a lot of stuff here.

A few points really struck home with me here...

1)International girls do seem a very different game, especially the Eastern European ones. They seem a lot easier to get in with and get numbers etc, but are harder to close! I have been the victim of this a few times recently!!

I think the key is to just go for it with them. I got cheeked last week by 1 when out on a date, but she still wants to meet me again next week (she said 'not yet, wait until next time' which was lame on her part, but proves that getting rejected from a kiss isn't the end of the world so just go for it!!). Oh and for God sake avoid those chairs and tables!! Sofas all the way!

Also be careful of cultural barriers/differences in humour etc. I accused a Mexican girl of stealing my wallet once (playfully)and she went mental! 'How dare you say dis, about Mexican people thinking we are all thieves! etc etc.......'

2)I'm like a friggin butterfly when I go out sometimes and never plough through my sets - definitely going to try to stay in sets until the bitter/sweet end from now on! Good job on your part!

3)I have been a victim of the ol'girls go to the bar/outside for a cigarette or something whilst you sit there like a lemon too. Is annoying, especially if you feel it has been going well. I think the answer is to open more sets and not wait for them like a puppy dog. Then when they do come back their jealousy button goes off and attraction goes up instead of down. You can even introduce the sets and stuff!

I'm glad you like my reports! I find it helps writing about stuff. Hopefully one day I'll find a way to be paid for writing. Money for old rope, really...

I've had a similar problem. I'd open, and then after 5 minutes in set, I'd think 'Right, mission accomplished. Eject, and find another set to open'.

Obviously, therefore, I wasn't getting any actual results other than a few openings a night.

Ask yourself: Are you going out to open, or are you going out to close? For the former is only a means to the end of the latter.

Is correct. You can always re-open sets later. But sitting there like a good lil doggy is never a good thing.

Sooooooooooo where were we?

Headed out for a mate's birthday last night. Off to Lark Lane first, full of pubs, where we had a few pints. It was my friend Toni's birthday, and nights out with Toni usually end up a complete fucking mess. Last night was no different.

Now look, I've been out of the game for quite some time. During that time, my growing frustration at my lack of ability to take action with women has really wound me up. Lately, I've tentatively made steps towards reengaging with the strange world of pick up. I've spent a long time reflecting on my experiences last time I was here. Pick up at once thrilled me and disillusioned me, excited me and pissed me off. But for all I really came away with some fundamental misgivings about it all, I can't get away from the fact that, during my time going out with wings (see the 15 pages above), I did approach girls, I did open sets, and I did have results. That wasn't due to implementing any particular methodology, but rather simply through going out with a certain mindset, and consciously making the effort to talk to girls.

I digress. So, we're in a nice pub on Lark Lane, having a good old sing song with some blokes playing their guitars. I was chatting to one girl who was an architect, who seemed nice enough. We were talking about her grand design house and her vision of a world of interesting design and architecture. We exchanged our mutual frustrations with British local government planning policy (Mystery Method p. 173 - The Planning Routine).

This girl turned out to be married, which was a tremendous shame. We were getting on well. But perhaps it was this conversation that limbered me up for the night ahead. Because some strange things were about to happen...

We headed into town. Five of us in a cab, two girls. One, a mother, aged 44 and a bit of a yummy Mummy. And her daughter, Becky, aged 21. A slim dark haired girl who's thick lensed glasses made her look like she'd stumbled out of the nearest library, but who was just the prettiest little thing. I really took to Becky, and we began to exchange jokes as the taxi dragged us to town.

We went to a club called the Raz. The Raz is a staple of Liverpool's student club scene. Its been there for decades, and its never changed. I went there for the first time on my very first night of University 9 years ago. The playlist hasn't changed at all since then, nor has the DJ. Nor has the floor to which your feet stick, not the rancid air which clings to your jeans for days after, nor the 6 inches of wee that lines the floor of the toilets.

I love the place.

So, we head in, downstairs onto the dancefloor. And this is where something extremely strange began to happen. Normally, if there's a girl I quite like, I'll dance next to her, or opposite her, and perhaps very nervously from time to time I'll brush up against her in the hope she'll respond. Similarly, mainly on a night out I'll focus on the friends I'm out with. I won't really talk to anyone else, I've never seen the point. That's what I've done for months, years even. Its never been any different. I don't see why it should change without having any reasonable explanation.

And that's why I'm so baffled this morning. Because, last night, for reasons unknown to me, it did change. Rather than nibble around the edges with Becky, I suddenly found myself practically chucking her across the dancefloor. My arm was round her waist, I was holding her hands and pulling her closer into me. I got close and nuzzled her neck. This wasn't the CovertOperation I was used too!

Right, so look, I didn't actually kiss Becky last night. I tried. And tried, and tried. But she kept turning her head away. Every time I tried too, she nervously asked where her Mum was, as if she didn't want to kiss someone in front of her. To be sure, she didn't back away. Every time she turned away from kissing me, a few moments later we'd be dancing together again. Surely if she didn't like me, and by this point my intentions were clear, then she'd have backed away and walked off when I tried to pull her towards me again, or danced away to the opposite side of the circle. But, she didn't. She stayed right there, and she kept coming back. How odd.

I came home later in a taxi with her Mum and my mate, who it seems has since slept with said Mum. Good on him! As we drove home, her Mum turned to me and said 'Becky said she likes you'. How fucking frustrating is that! Fucking kiss me then you fucking gorgeous library geek!!

Through some nifty Facebook work I've managed to find Becky, and I'll send her a wee message in a second. I did like her, and I'd like to see her again, perhaps with her Mum not around. But regardless of what happens with her, I can't quite get my head around where my sudden directness came from last night. I liked it.

And another thing, which hooks onto this. I wasn't only more direct with Becky. I was more direct with everyone! In the club, I found myself suddenly talking to absolutely everyone around me. I asked one lad if I could try his glasses on, because they looked cool. I said hi to every girl around me. One girl walked through the middle of us, and stopped looking for her mates. I put my arm around her and walked her around the club until she found them. I was asking people where they'd got their cool Christmas jumpers, whether they thought Man City could last the pace and win the league, weren't Five shit and why does this DJ keep playing the Five Megamix when its clear no-one will dance to it? I was so stunned at my sudden and unexpected sociability that I began to chat to random people almost for the sake of it, almost because I could, like a kid with a new toy, eagerly finding out all the different things it does.

Something very strange happened last night. Something very different. I haven't got a clue what. And that's frustrating. Everything that happens in life, I try and break it down, take it to pieces, analyse the factors that make the world turn in the way it does. I'm my own favourite subject. So I can't tell you how frustrated it makes me that I haven't got a clue what was so different last night, that made me act so out of character!

One thing though: I hope it stays that way!

Good evening PUA Forum.

And how are we? As gorgeous as ever, I expect!

I just wanted to drop back in and say hi. It's been a while, some two years since I was last here? Some massive changes have taken place in my life since I last scoured these boards. My approach to the world today is very different to my approach 2 or 3 years ago, when my short but enlightening journey into and through the world of pick up and the 'pick up artist' took place. I want to share my differences of approach with you now, and reflect a little on life after pick up.

I am not a pick up artist. I never was, and when I wanted to be one, that was only because I failed to perceive the more fundamental life goals that I should have been aiming for. Back then I preferred instead the simple goal of 'sleeping with loads of women'. Now, today, I have slept with loads of women. I do sleep with loads of women. In the last year in particular my success rate with women has gone through the fucking roof. All that, and I'm not even a pick up artist! Fancy that!

Now, as I sit and ponder life from the vantage point of a man with an abundance of options in terms of the opposite sex, as well as the ability to add to them if I choose to do so, I wonder how on earth I reached this point. Because, as I think about it, I haven't reached this point by actually consciously doing anything. I don't reel out lines, I don't look for IOIs. I don't sit and recite Tyler Durden ad infinitum. I don't really know what I do. I just, do.

But after a little while thinking it all through, I've emerged with a few very broad thoughts about me, my life, my journey, and me again. I'll share them with you. Lucky you.

I want to start by talking about marinading chicken. I think we all need to think more about that from time to time. I've learned to cook a bit now, you see, and a few weeks back I had a go at some spicy chicken kebabs. I prepared a marinade in a nice big bowl, dropping a few too many spoons of cayenne pepper in for good measure. And then I dunked my raw chicken chunks into the bowl, gave them a good squeeze and widged them around a bit with my hand (I don't care what my laptop says, 'widged' is a word and you fucking know it is), and then put the bowl back in the fridge.

I did all this on a Saturday morning. I finally took the bowl out on the Sunday night, some 36 hours later, making up my kebabs and grilling them delicately before serving them to the 5 lovely people I live with a delicious creamy garlic sauce and side salad.

My housemates all roundly agreed that these were the best Very Spicy Kebabs With Delicious Creamy Garlic Sauce And Side Salad they'd ever had, and I have to say, though I say so myself, they were rather lovely. I put this loveliness down chiefly to the marinade, including a prolonged period of marination, and a well planned and well executed marinade recipe.

So keen am I on the need for good marination, I want to use a little excerpt from Wikipedia on the process of marination to force home my point:

...Still with me? Good. There is a point to all this. I promise. Just bear with me.

I marinated my chicken for 36 hours. That's a long time to marinade chicken. It allowed the meat to fully absorb all the delicious flavours, producing a more profound, more thoroughly flavoured meat, tender and succulent and delicious.

If I'd only dunked the chicken in the marinade for a few minutes and then popped them straight onto the grill, sure, there would have been some flavour. But the diner would have bit into the meat only to discover that beneath the surface, the chicken was just as they would expect to find unflavoured chicken. No change would have taken place, and that change that appeared on the surface was only a superficial coating, not a profound change in the flavour and texture of the meat. Instead, I gave the meat enough time to absorb the marinade. And as such, I produced kebabs Jesus himself would have been chuffed with (if he ate kebabs an that).

Marination. It does wonderful things.

Its two years now since I really did much to do with pick up, PUA, game, all that. Its a long, long time since I've gone out sarging, as in, since I've gone out with the avowed aim being to meet girls and pull. And yet, I've had more sex in the last year than during any other period in my life. At any one time, I seem to have several potential sexual options. During the last few months there have been times when I've slept with a number of different girls in the same week. I've woken up in one girls bed in the morning and then gone asleep in another's that night. I've had a girl going down on me in an evening, and then four hours later I've slept with another girl. What I'm trying to get across is, this level of success was unheard of when I was posting all the field reports you see on this forum. Go back through them if you want. You'll find that, for all my positive field reports, I only slept with one girl in four months of practicing pick up.

So, pick up is a waste of time. All the books, the articles, the debate, the seminars. Clearly it doesn't work. Right?

...Well. Not quite.

It didn't work for me at the time. Not as I wanted it too. Not when I was going out sarging, using openers and elevating kino and blah blah etc. I stepped back from it all after a while, convinced there had to be something in it, but without really experiencing any success.

I look back now and think, of course I wasn't having any success. Nothing had changed! I'd only been doing it a few months. Of course nothing had changed in that time! I'd only just been dunked in the marinade. On the inside, I was the same old chicken I'd always been.

...But then, time passed. As it does, as it always has and always will. And what happened? I marinaded. That's what happened. I wasn't actively pursuing the theory of pick up any more. But I was still very aware of it. Over time it all began to infuse me. I began to care less about things. I began to see things for their true value. I began to do what I wanted to do more and more. I began to open up to girls sexually. I stopped pretending I didn't want to have sex with them when I did. I even started to admit my deepest darkest fantasies to them, many around bondage and S&M. And when I did - well, when I did, they did too. You'd be amazed how many shared them. And what a fucking blast that's been...

We live in a complex world. We have to digest massive amounts of information, and to evaluate risk dozens of times every day. We learn to do this through the subconscious observation of others. The more I opened up sexually to girls, the more they returned the favour. No girl has ever done it first. I've been up front with them, and I've said, 'Here. That's where my boundaries are. You work out where yours are'. Once they see just how open you're willing to be, it gives them the confidence to reciprocate.

This for me is the absolute hub, the nucleus, the God particle of 'pick up'. BE OPEN. LEAD. SHOW THE WAY FORWARD. Do it without a hint of shame. Do it boldly. Blast forwards. Because when you do, all you're doing is clearing away the detrius of social conditioning that crowds out our true selves, firing a path through the myths and misconceptions of modern society. As you fire that path, I promise you one thing: your girl will follow.

I've developed a reputation for promiscuity. Six people live in my house. Three guys, three girls. We all get on very well. A few weeks back, sat in the living room. We had to say who would be which Friends character. Straight away, everyone said 'Adam is Joey'. Why? 'Because you're funny and you sleep with loads of women'.

Possibly my most favourite thing I've ever heard!

People ask me for advice on relationships now. My housemates seem to struggle with them. Only one of us is in a relationship. The rest seem to lack partners to focus on. They come often to me for my thoughts on things. When I give advice, its struck me that it always sounds to me like something I'd read on these boards.

And that's exactly it. I'm in a place of abundance now. I care less about things. My take on life is from a perspective of seeing the world around me for what it is, and also because I've come to understand risk, and the nature of risk. We're all going to die one day. So fucking get on with using your life to the fullest, and taking every fucking opportunity that comes your way.

And that's what I'm doing next. You see, once upon a time, I wrote this:

I'm 29 now. I'm 30 in September.

Last week, I handed in my notice in work. On 2 August, I work my last day in the office. On 4 August, I get on board a bus to Lithuania. I'll spend 2 weeks city hopping through the Baltic states to St Petersburg, and then Moscow. Once there I'll join a tour along the Trans-Siberian Railway, to Beijing. Once there I'll travel south to Hong Kong, where I'll celebrate my 30th birthday at the end of September.

And then into Vietnam. On 28 October, I start a one month teacher training course. I qualify with a CELTA at the end of November. From January, I am aiming to have a job working and living in Vietnam as a teacher, hopefully on a 12 month contract. Once that runs out... Well, who knows? I might stay put. I might travel on through south east Asia. I might decide I've had enough and come home. Who knows, right?

The thing is, life runs out fucking quickly. You go through your 20s, and you think it's all going to last forever. Then you hit 27, 28, 29. Your hair gets a bit thinner. Your eyes look more worn. You start to feel your belly wobble as you go over speed bumps. And you realise - it isn't going to last forever. You've got to do something with this life, and you've got to do it now!

For three years, I've marinaded with the fundamental principles of pick up, and what I guess some sections of the PUA world would call 'self actualisation'. Take action. Do something. Make things better. Sieze opportunities. Today I am a better person than I've ever been. I love my life. I sleep with lots of women. I don't suffer fools. I free myself of people and things that I find lacking in value. I care for those I love. And I'm about to do something unbelievably spectacular with my life.

I guess that's what I'm trying to say: the key thing with pick up is that, it isn't just a line. It isn't a system. It isn't a magic bullet, or a routine, or a 100% Fail Safe Direct Route To Guaranteed Attraction. If you think it is, or expect it to be, then you're going to be disappointed.

Instead, its a marinade. Its a combination of different ideas, different beliefs, different sets of values and understandings about the world, about society and about human nature and human interrelationships. You can either dip yourself in, and ultimately be disappointed when a few weeks on, despite perfecting your posture, reading a bunch of NLP and learning some routines absolutely inside out, nothing has really changed.

Or, you can understand that the the key to good marination is patience. If you want to achieve the fundamental shifts that will lead to abundance, that will lead to success, then its going to take more than reading a few articles, or performing a few routines. Its going to take a little longer.

But stick with it, yeah? Fuck me, it's worth it

Awesome post, I actually read it all too, usually I blurb people's posts.

This post sums up the forum really.

Fuck, was initially going to go with something to the effect of TLDR, but thought I'd give it a read, great post man, plus I love the analogy of chicken and life, though that could be because I just fucking love chicken and experiment with different marinades!

Again mate, great post.