The last couple of days I was travelling abroad for work. One interaction of note was in a bar on Thursday night when I was out with a few colleagues. The bar was pretty busy with students.

I feel a bit out of place in here as I'm suited and booted. I'm standing at the bar and I feel a bump on my elbow, turn around and there's a blonde girl standing there. She says to me "English or French?", I say "English", then she says "I'm Swedish, can you get me a glass of water please?". She looks pretty drunk and I say "I'll get you one in a minute". I can't think of what to say to her so I say "what's your name?". She says "what's my dream?" and I roll with the misinterpretation and say "yes...what is your dream?".

So I get her water and we're chatting for 10 minutes. My colleagues wander away to find a table and leave us two alone. We've only been in the place a few minutes and I've pulled. I think they were quite impressed but I just made out like this always happens to me when I'm out.

Anyway, while I'm talking the Swedish girl casually slips her hand inside my unbuttoned coat, so now she's got her arm around my waist and pulls me in. I'm like okay, so she's escalating. I automatically put my hand on her back and our bodies are pressed together, faces very close as the bar's noisy and I can hardly hear what she's saying. Thinking about it now I could probably have kissed her then. After a bit she asks me to come over to meet her friends and she wanders over to them. She's slightly wobbly on her feet.

I don't know whether it was because she was so drunk or because she was leading the interaction but I just didn't feel right about it and I went to find my colleagues. I should have got the number first, kicking myself now. I saw her leaving the bar a while later, alone, and she actually looked like she'd sobered up a bit by then.

Work was busy on Friday. On the journey home I approached about a dozen girls, asking for directions or whatever else came into my head, but not being direct. One girl I started talking to on a busy railway platform seemed a bit distant but I kept talking. Then her boyfriend appears and she starts talking to him to distract him from the fact she was being hit on. He was a very big bloke. I reckon at least two of the girls I approached were up for a longer interaction if I'd been a bit more enthusiastic after opening. I was getting weary after a long day.

Back in London two Australian guys were carrying a big bag and asked me if I wanted to buy any ice. Pretty bizarre. I laughed and said no thanks. Then I saw them walk down the street stopping people, mostly girls to ask if they wanted to buy any ice. Nice opener lads!

Going to rest up today as I'm travelling again tomorrow.

Sunday 1st Dec 13

Spent most of the day travelling. Had a few pretty lame attempts at opening girls en route.

When arrived went out solo looking for a bar and some girls to chat to. Long story short, I ended up leaving a bar with two very attractive air hostesses who were on a stopover. One was married the other didn't mention if she had a bf. We were all drunk, shits and giggles all the way through the town. Brilliant night.

They were both really nice girls. Photos were taken, FB exchanged, hugs, kisses...parted. I almost got amoged in the bar but managed to push through that situation and left with the girls. Two guys swooped on them when I was at the toilet but I'd made a strong connection with the girls and the guys were a bit creepy so it wasn't a problem.

I showed a colleague a photo of one of them today and told him I was out drinking with her and her mate. But he doesn't believe me. I was rough in the morning though and I'm now down with a cold. It was worth it though. If you're just having fun I can see how things can happen.

Update / analysis 4 Dec 13:

Sorry bit of a long rambling blog post but I've had a lot of time to think, being ill and stuck in my hotel tomb, sleepless night with too much caffine and all that. Hopefully it might impart some useful information or be entertaining.

So I showed another colleague the photos of those two girls today. It was a photo I took on the night with my phone of the two air stewardesses. Two obviously drunk hotties (one blonde pony tailed and the other long dark hair, both great bodies and pretty) staring into the lens of my phone camera. He was running around telling everyone, you want to see the birds he was with the other night, hmmm, shit, not sure if bragging to work colleagues is a good idea. He kept saying, "we need to go to the Canada Bar".

That's because I told him they were flight attendants for air canada. It was actually an Irish bar, dumbfuck. Think I'm looking for some validation and I shouldn't be doing that but it's hard at this stage not to celebrate every little step of progress. If I didn't care I expect I wouldn't tell anyone or post FR's at all.

Tonight he wanted me to take him to that bar. I was like, er.."I don't think they will still be there waiting matey". But he kept going on about it. I think he imagined this bar being wall to wall with gorgeous flight attendants wanting to be fucked by any guy.

Eventually I said "no!" as he was getting annoying. He's a good guy though. It's wierding me out a bit now how some chodey guys get hot girls up on a massive pedestal and see them as utterly unobtainable. The thing I'm realising is they don't get approached as much as average looking girls. they get stared at plenty but few serious approaches.

In fact they were the only two very attractive women - who weren't with their dates - in a bar full of horny guys and maybe that's why I was more careful in my approach than I should have been. It was just that none of the guys had approached them. As usual, after I approached every cunt in the place thought they had a chance. But then I felt they were my girls and I wasn't giving them up easily.

One thing I did was as soon as I got to the bar I started talking to everyone. I was like, hi, I'm the fun guy and I'm bringing the party here. And that actually worked pretty well. if you believe it, it will work.

Why don't the guys just go up and talk to the cute girls, haha. They're (we're)too shit scared that's why. I think that it's just that they're stuck in that scarecity mentality. The one I was in for a long time and I'm starting to break out of. Now that reality seems as strange to me as approaching is to them.

But you have to watch out for the guys who try to befriend you then try to take your girl(s) like almost happened to me when they thought I'd left the bar (I had just put my coat on cause I was going to the toilet then out for a smoke). These aren't wings, they're interlopers and I need to learn how to deal with them swiftly. As it happens I did deal with it that time. I was unreactive, but I want to recognise that situation sooner in future and not even let it get that far.

I suppose isolation or extraction is the best thing but with me having two girls on my hands it wasn't an option really. You'll see the difficulty in the next para.

One mistake I think I made was i asked the single one up to dance after I'd been sitting talking to them for a while. We got up but I wondered why she didn't seem that into it and kept looking over at her friend, then I realised I hadn't asked the friend up as well. I forgot I had two girls here not one. As well as talking to both of them I had to dance with both of them too. Pretty basic mistake. My state dropped a bit though when she didn't get into dancing with me.

I also chatted up three not so great looking girls in the smoking area. The one I focussed on was very cold at the start but I kept talking and got her laughing. After 5 mins I reckon I could have got her number or pulled her. But I didn't go for it. My state was up again, I couldn't miss. But I was after the hottie air hostess wasn't I. I felt like i had committed to those other girls. Why did I think that. I had a better chance of making out with the one I was with. Could have stuck with her until the other ones came looking for me. I wasn't sure what to do. Inexperience.

The younger canadian air attendant, who is single, has 458 friends (I'm number 458) on face book, many of them very hot girls and guys. She did like me though, I've no doubt about that. How do you catch a globe trotting hot flight attendant? I PM'd her, it's hard to know what to say on FB. But no response so far, but they've both added me as a friend. Do you message them until you get blocked or what? It's a mystery to me. I need F2F contact to work. She's not gonna remember me. I've accepted that.

It's made me realise the importance of escalating early on to cement the moment. I didn't even kiss her on the mouth. Maybe just as well as I'd have given her my cold. Not a good thing to be remembered by.

Glad I'm heading home tomorrow to recover from my illness.

Saturday 14 December forum meetup in London

I felt a bit off last night but enjoyed the experience overall. I had realised booking a hotel wasn't much more expensive than getting a taxi home. I've found trying to get the train home hasn't been working out well so I booked a hotel and stayed out until the end of the night (3'ish). Can't afford to do this every week but now and again it's definitely worth it. It means I can relax more and get into it. Last night I was feeling a bit off colour due to not being totally clear of this chest infection. But I enjoyed it all the same as I met the guys from the forum and the vibe was good.

At the end I was pretty mashed on booze. Before I went out I was really nervous / excited. I guess because I had built up this big image in my head about Shoreditch being the trendiest area in London and all that. It was good to get out of my comfort zone.

We met up in a very chilled dimly lit bar with cool music playing. Two new guys from the forum showed up. There was five of us in total, me, Stein, markuk, alpine100 and FortuneFavorsTheBold (FFTB). Top-hat turned up later on at the second place where we ended up staying.

The place where we ended up is the most clubby environment I've been in so far. There were plenty of nice looking girls around and also a lot of guys picking up. We noticed in the smoking area a lone girl was swooped on by a guy almost immediately as she came out. A lot of it is working out where the various zones are in a place and where is best to meet the girls.

We were shooting the shit. FFTB went first to approach and Stein went to wing him. On passing the foursome on my way to the toilet I noted that the two girls they were with looked hot. I got that horrible feeling where you start comparing your 'state' with others and putting yourself in a pigeon hole. Later on I did force myself to cold approach with some nudging from FFTB but it wasn't pretty tbh. I was trying to be cocky, didn't work, my head was all over the place. I wasn't me. But when I wasn't trying to do anything a girl approached me in the smoking area and said I was hot which I was really amazed at. So much so that I didn't follow up or at least I don't think I did (can't remember). I tried to number close another girl but she wasn't interested. It just reminded me that all of game comes from within. I wasn't feeling it that night and got too pissed. But I was more physical with the girls I approached than usual which is something I've been wanting to improve on. I want touching to become more automatic.

There were some great conversations. I did feel I was learning and getting good reference experience. It was fun for the large part. At a certain point in the night I got a vodka and red bull and sought sanctuary up on the dance floor and stayed there for the rest of the night. The music was good but this was me reverting to old behaviour...not chatting girls. I lost track of the others from then.

On travelling home this morning I couldn't help but notice the amount of cute girls walking around in London. I need to get out more. I had discussed this with Stein last night and he gave me some ideas that I'm going to think about to get more uptime.

It felt like an achievement just getting myself out there in a crowded club environment and staying the course even though I wasn't feeling good.

I was having a clear out today and found a receipt from a shop in Old Street where I bought some beer on my way back to my hotel. The time on it is 6.22am. If the bar we were in closed at 3 I've no idea what I was doing for the other 3 hours.

That was quite a post, I can see the stuff at home has been affecting you. Firstly dont worry about girls who dont chat to this game, remember thats the game we dont win em all. I'm also one to get angry now and again but just remember the bigger picture. Keep your chin up, it's a bumpy ride, but know your end goal.

In terms of showing sexual intentions, the difference between you and everyone else is you practice this everyday. Those other chumps dont know what theyre doing. You know exactly how to get sexual. And if you fail, theres another just accross the bar.

Friday 20 Dec 13

Deleted last nights drunken rant. I'm replacing it with a better FR.

First pub I'm in is packed with guys. Mates arrive and I'm one drink ahead of them. We move on to the next place. It's the same, rammed with guys, very few women.

I open probably the only two attractive girls in the place. Starts off really well, then they seemed to both lose interest at the same time and just wander away. The music was very loud so it was hard to have a convo.

We move on again. The third pub is better, there's a dozen or so women. I get eye contact with a woman who's sitting by herself and go over to chat. The problem is the music in here is sol loud I have to say "what?" every time she says something. But she seems happy to have been approached.

Her friend comes back from the bar and I introduce myself. But the friend isn't happy. Takes on a blocking attitude. A guy I know appears and comes in as a wing. But the blocker uses this as an opportunity to move her friend to another area of the bar, so they're gone. Kind of pissed off because the one I had approached liked me.


We move on again. The fourth bar is also packed but we know the doorman so he lets us in. This is the best place of the lot, quite a few women but I'm getting pretty drunk by now. I open a couple of sets but they're a bit shirty. Not sure why but I get in my head that it's me. I have a go at two girls for some reason. One of them sees me later on and asks why I did that. I apologise and we shake hands.

Analysis

All in all it wasn't that bad. I was approaching and I'm sure if the music hadn't been so loud in two of the bars I would have had good interactions, even without a wing. By the time I got to the last bar I was getting too drunk and frustrated by the lack of women. I threw my teddy out the pram because I didn't get a good response one time. I'm a bit disappointed in myself about that. It's out of character. But I did recover and apologised to the girl concerned.

One thing I've been thinking about is moving into London. I don't know if it's financially possible but I'm going to do the sums over the holiday and consider it. I feel like the change would do me good and open up a lot more options.

Thanks dude I appreciate it. I deleted the original post. It was quite raw. I've posted a new FR that's a bit more objective. Yeah in the argument I had with my Dad yesterday a lot of shit came out. We were both quite shaken up after it. Family shit. He's elderly and used to live on his own and now he lives with me. I annoy him just being around and he's cramping my style by being here so I'm looking at the possibilities of moving out. We ended up agreeing about that but it all comes down to whether the money situation will allow it.

Remember Serendipity, its not what you are on the inside but what you do that defines you.

Saturday 21 Dec 13

Went out again tonight. No pub crawl this time, just a drink with mates and having a laugh. We went to the last bar we went to last night as there are usually more women there and they have the best sound system. You can talk even though the music is reasonably loud. Somebody observed something stupid and we all just latched onto that. The whole night was expanding this stupid thing into a weird storyline. It was our thing. It made us laugh but was wonderfully pointless.

But I decided to have a night off from thinking about approaching. At first I found it incredibly hard not to keep scanning the room for talent and think about who I wanted to approach, angle of approach, etc. And there was a lot of hot girls in there. I just said no, I'm relaxing tonight. I wasn't even looking for IoI's to validate myself / get in state like I usually do. I had some great convos with my mates, some serious stuff but most aimless and enjoyable nonsense, having fun in other words. At one point a guy wanted me to go with him to chat two women. Then I pointed out to him they had wedding/engagement rings on. He hadn't noticed. I'm learning.

I'm at a point where it's easy to become obsessed with women. But I don't want to be that guy. At the same time I know I need to keep trying and I'll be back on it again. I saw guys flirting like fuck, a few saliva/number exchanges and all that was going on in the background. Cool to watch, I know what's going on now. I also saw the same guys getting ditched at the end of the night when the girls went for their taxis. Some girls just like the validation of being hit on and will actively encourage it.

I realised tonight how much I'm still fighting a battle in my head when I compare myself to other guys in a venue. I'm constantly doing that and it's unhelpful. But what I noticed tonight is the uncool guy in specs was actually getting on the best and got some numbers. He was hitting on the hottest girls, on his own, no wing. I was thinking you go for it bud. Note to self made here on the reality not what I think is the reality.

It was nice just to be observing it all for the first time in a while and not being in it (quite educational too when you watch the blow outs. Really good looking guys get blown off just the same as everyone else, they just don't take it personally). I didn't feel bad because before all I did was observe and felt bad that I couldn't seem to find the guts to participate. Tonight it was more like I was having a night off. Completely different feeling. And I felt quite satisfied.

On Christmas eve though, if not before, I'll be chasing tail again.