So in the last two weeks of being single again I've had a lot of chance to ponder on what I actually want out of a relationship, and a little bit of self discovery, don't get me wrong there's a lot more to do but I'm starting to feel that I can only discover who I am when I'm out of a relationship, or at least reflecting on a previous relationship after breaking up.

I've realised that what I look for in women is passion, passion for something, anything, like passion for a career, a hobby, whatever. Passion is sexy, the willingness to put it all to risk for something greater.

I'm very rarely if at all finding this in the usual haunts, I generally meet students and when I do meet professional people I always get knocked back with the 'your too young for me' line, and I get a little frustrated, I'm 25 but I still look 18 to which everybody always compliments saying I need to be grateful which is great. But I immediately get perceived as this little innocent kid. Which makes me wonder, am I just aiming to high or should I just go for the easy option and hit on uni students. Maybe I should just live hedonistically until my looks catch up with me and I can speak to people my own age...

Also, my ex has been contacting me a lot, begging me to take her back, I've been trying to push her back but I bumped into her in town last night, she was with her friends, they were all yelling at me, it didn't feel good. It didn't feel like it was well deserved but it still made me feel pretty low, put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. Guess I've just got to accept being the bad guy in this.

Wes will always be Heath Ledger and Jaz will always be Billy Baldwin.

I will always be Danny De Vito or Leonard from Big Band Theory.

Anyway, dude, that's one hell of a limiting belief.

You can get any type of girl you want, you just got to put the approaches and time into learning this stuff. Just stop going to student clubs and Fab if you want girls with careers and passions.

Although students can have passions haha. Tbh being passionate is a late-qualifier, you can't really find out what somebody is TRULY passionate about until a few weeks of PROPERLY knowing them.

Go find them mate. Get less drunk, go meet them, fucking close.

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right" - Henry Ford.

That quote answers your question.

What have you been a bad guy about? Breaking up with her?

From their perspective, yeah.
All I get is she deserves somebody better, somebody who appreciates etc etc.

And cheers man, I do prefer quieter places, but often find it harder to approach, don't know whether I need to step up my game or something, maybe just have a little more confidence in myself and a little more self worth.

thats all game is confidence and self worth

Dice don't beat yourself up over your ex, you weren't right for each other so you did the better thing and made a decision that will benefit the future for you both. She doesn't see that now but she will even if she just realises she's happier with her new fella.

As for thinking you don't usually get professional types, I used to think I could only get older girls. I let my expectations go and went out to have fun which led me getting with with students, waitresses, phsychologists, professors and a whole load of other girls. Let any thoughts of "types" go and focus on what you enjoy and find fun

Cheers guys, I'm trying not to beat myself up as I know I've made the right choice, whether she knows it or not, it's just the first time I've had the gonads to do so, so its an experience I'm not used to.

I'm at a pivotal point in my life at the moment, and not just with relationships, I've started a professional work ethic were appearances are starting to become important and I have to start taking care with the way I come across to people I meet (mainly clients and such).

I need to start taking some time to reflect on myself and my demeanour, maybe get some new threads, pick up a few new hobbies etc. I've noticed that every now any then (usually every few years) I get bored with my current situation, so I throw it all and start again, typically its been were I was living, social circle (not that I throw away mates, I just make more of an effort to meet new people), my job or relationship. Maybe this time I should do that with myself, like reinvent myself.

But before that I need to figure out what type of person I want to be, sod it I'll just become a diceman haha.

Been starting to think I want to set myself some new goals, and some way of committing myself to it to ensure I actually follow through. Like jogging/running 10k a day, or try a new hobby/sport each weekend, just basically to do something I wouldn't normally do and keep doing so until ... well I can't actually think of a feasible reason to stop doing that really. Hence why I shouldn't have a problem justifying doing it, I just to not be lazy or hapless.

It's your life. You have to live through your own intentions. I had a very long messy breakup with my ex last year. It was still worth it, as I did it for similar reasons to yourself.

At least you did the dumping and wasn't getting dumped like me hah