No...

they plan it like a full on business action plan

who gets the friends
what will I do with my free time
is there someone else I can be with while im feeling sad after the break up
etc etc

This is true, and they do it with a partner in crime

Slags....

tell her directly to give you a better response, or you're not dealing with her. If she doesn't, cut off communication for a while. See if she comes back. If she doesn't, you're off the hook.

Really liking the advice here....

Phil, Joker, etc....would you say that once a few niggles/cracks appear it's probably not meant to be? and maybe one should carry on looking for the near perfect partner?

I guess I fall into the "etc." category so I'll try answer...

Yes.

...and, there is no "near perfect partner". Just girls of varying suitability as to what you're looking for in a woman at that exact moment in your life.

I'm not saying quit when it get's a little bumpy. All relationships have ups and downs. If you can work through them, and honestly have closure on that problem, then that's great. The problem lies in when red flags pop up, you talk about it or try to resolve, but you don't get closure.

When that happens you end up building everything on top of that sandy foundation. More problems arise, they don't get resolved. You can glaze over them for a few weeks/months but they always raise their ugly head in arguments. Before you know it you have a list as long as your arm of things you don't like about her (this goes both ways) and very few points or solid reasons why you should stay together.

Nobody's perfect. A good partner is simply someone that's working WITH you towards shared goals...a rotten one is one that's working AGAINST you(conciously or unconciously because she believes on some level that its her 'female' perogatvie to do so), exploiting you emotionally, physically, financially (perhaps all of the above) in a desperate badly flawed bid to meet her own selfish fucked up needs. Niggles cracks and bumps on the road are one thing, a woman that holds you accountable for her own dysfunctional irrational attitudes values and behaviours is quite another...

When faced with the latter there is only one course of action...

u need someone who you dont have to worry is looking elsewhere because u cry at a movie, or coz u dont take them out one weekend.

living ur life worrying about your partners actions isn't a life.

nor a girl who says she isnt sure if she wants to be with you....

that conversation means one of 2 things. Either

She doesnt wanna be with u, and u temporarily tricked her into wanting you (so have to keep up a false self)

or... (and more likely)

She is an attention seeker who wanted a reaction from you, and therefore probably craves attention from all men... and the one who denys her it, she is gonna fuck him behind ur back coz she wants ALL EYES ON HER!!!!

you can attempt to reverse it if you want... and putting a little effort in now may show you if this is a sustainable relationship or not... but don't slave over it either.