Underpatch has a relationship question.
 

Hi there.

I find myself in a odd situation. The last 7 months I have been in a good and stable relationship with a girl whom I love very much. Using her words I am the first guy she has even been out with that she could actually see having kids with. Or wanting to marry. Compared with her past relationships who where mostly her looking for the wrong type of guy. With things inevitably going wrong in the end.

Yesterday she took me to meet a person who is very important to her. A person who she considers to be her dad. Someone who has looked out for her as a daughter for many years. This to me seemed like a very big step.

So we had dinner. I was my typical lovable self. After the dinner when they where in private he mentioned to her that he liked me. Thought I was a really good guy and quite safe. He sounded to be quite pleased with me.

This how ever turned out to be the worst thing he could have said. The word "safe" triggered a negative response that she has been brooding over ever since. Once we got home we sat down and have a long talk.

It seems that everything that she has liked about me in the past has taken a back seat. The kids and the life she saw having with me that very morning has been eclipse by "safe". In the example she gave me. If I, for some reason, where to goto jail tomorrow. She would not marry me. Where as her last few boy friends she would have. Firstly it struck me as very odd that she would pick this kind of example. But I told her that if I was the kind of guy who would end up in jail I would think you would be right to leave me straight away.

It is very hard to make any sense of all of this. I love her and up until yesterday evening I was very sure she loved me. I honestly don't know what to do here. Please advice me.

Thank you.

Walk. Don't look back. Just walk.

If she asks you where you are going tell to just imagine you've gone to jail.

Tell her not to contact you again until she's grown the fuck up.

the only way to deal with this situation, is let her miss you.... and even then she sounds like an idiot.

u need to just go missing for a month or 2

ZERO contact.... unfortunately, your not gonna follow any advice on here, coz ur lookin for PUA moves to get her back, your gonna chase her & act like ur in a movie...

but in the end, she will meet someone else & you will be heartbroken. If you continue to persue the line of chasing & talking etc, she will continue to see you as she does today. and you will come off worse.

and in a few years time you will HATE how much of a pussy you wer, and wish you had just changed ur number.....

but thats life, and we all did it.

my advice, REMOVE HER FROM UR MIND NOW, delete her from facebook, change your number & DO NOT ALLOW HER TO CONTACT YOU

she is gonna chase u, coz people hate being pushed out.... but after this if you get with her again, your gonna be back here in a few months, altho you will then know the power of distance.

just dissapear for a few weeks then gauge the situation.

Sounds like a head-case if i read it properly.

Could just be an emotional episode, if she's serious, personally, I'd leave her.

Note I didn't say ignore or cut contact. Do you want someone who's going to pull these kinds of cards on you in a relationship? The whole "Ah suddenly there is a problem with you" thing.

If you want her; Phil's advice is good. But everybody knows how hard it is to take the right advice! :)

i still wouldnt bother my ass tho, id ditch her

Well I tried making her miss me. I left in the morning without telling her and when she woke up she was franticaly trying to find me. I got 6 calls in 40 minuets. I did not respond to any of them. I put my cell in my room before she saw I was home. This way it was not like I was ignoring her calls but just that I did not have my cell. She was mad that I left.

Later that evening she told me with no prompting from me that she sees what she was saying last night was wrong. She wants a safe guy. She got so worried just after 1 hour.

Thank you for the advice guys. All seems well with the world once again :)

this is however, the start of the end.... be prepared for it,.... women prepare for breakups long before men

Well no, because she still seems like a psycho.

She likes bad guys who mess her around and treat her like crap. She likes that excitement and uncertainty - hence the past relationships.

So if you want a long one with her, treat her half way between that and being Mr Perfect. Don't take any shit. Care less and you'll have the greater power, she'll be begging you and all over you.

But I'm with Joker, Phil and Shahanshah, get the fuck out of there.

None of this makes a difference though. You'll be fine for a few weeks/months and then these little 'red flags' will fester and grow. But each time they pop up you'll tell yourself it's all OK cos she seems otherwise to be great marriage/mother material.

You ask for advice. You got it. Do yourself a favour and take it.

haha that made me laugh for some reason.

I think that's called cheating :P