wow, im really glad this topic is being discussed. Kind of a murky topic in the community that wishy washy game advice might not clear up, or might i dont know.

My dad has it and his mum had it. So ive seen the effects and how frustrating it is.
I feel like it would b easy for me to blame stuff on depression for myself when i could just be feeling a bit crap sometimes which for me is probably the case.

I definitely used to subconciously cut my self off from social groups and never understood why right from being a kid but i blame that on other stuff which i wont go into. I like to think ive got over this problem now anyway but if i do or did have depression i certainly wouldnt like it to be diagnosed with it. so im just gunna keep on the way am going.

i wonder if depression is medical or can be treated with more self belief???

apparently bi - polar runs in our family, my nan is an up & down cook... my ma is the same... my sister is moody as fuck

i do get ratty but most of the time im happy & love my life... is that coz i did somethin about it where they never...

is depression your own hole that you either climb from ... or dwell.

i was depressed last year, i lost everythin from my company, home, gf, pride THE LOT... as i was sat there going from the best apartment block in liverpool to a crummy bedsit in the arse end of liverpool within months.

i wondered... am i gonna let this drag me down!! and i never... i got a job back in sales, my old company, top sales in the first week .. got a nice new pad... got my shit together, and im glad it happened, as i realised im not bound by what i have.... im not what i do

im me! and im in control of everythin i do.

that was an important lesson, and whilst it cost me alot of time & heartache... worth every single molecule.

See, there is a huge disconnect in perception here.

Yourself and Phil have reacted to difficulties in life, by externalising them. Somehow, some people when they have had enough of suffering whether it takes days, weeks or months, have an innate ability to push negativity out of themselves and externalise their problems. No doubt you would argue that this is simply a choice, a personal assertion that you take control of yourself and move on.

Others however tend to internalise their problems, when a new problem arises, it becomes more evidence of what they thought about themselves to begin with, and down the spiral goes. They take the blame for the event personally, as opposed to placing the blame upon the event and then changing events. Someone like this will look at the notion of asserting change, and whilst they're not thick and can understand it logically, somehow it doesn't...fit. Of course, as always with the brain, the more you practice something the more efficient you get at it, regardless of whether it's healthy or not.

This makes it difficult for the latter group to model the former group and work out how to pull themselves out of it from what they observe.

I suppose the difference between the two groups is a fundamental sense of identity and self esteem. On Deangelo's Deep Inner Game DVD's they talk about some people having a porous personal boundary, where events are allowed into them to fuck with their reality freely. Whereas more stable people tend to be able to choose what they let in, they know who they are and can usually reject a problem. The same product implied that the only way to build this was to start investing in yourself more, to start building self esteem and identity with one little decision at a time, little steps of courage leading towards a greater sense of self image and esteem to stabilise the foundation of the problem.

PS

actually mate, i take responsibility for any problems... and things outside of my control i just move on.

i dont think everyone should follow my lead coz i dont think its that easy for most... and where i was WASNT NICE

and its only my ability to sell, i earned enough money to become active in life and work myself to freedom.

it wasnt just my power of self it was my ability to financially stabilize myself.

and i wouldnt wish depression on anyone

I think what PS means by 'take it personally' is that you feel that these things have happened because you are a cunt and an unlovable, horrible person. It's a genuine belief that makes complete sense to you. What you mean is taking responsibility - 'I've fucked up so I'm going to put it right'.

Not necessarily the same thing, and the difference between responses to the stressor in this situation (ie why some people man up and get on with it and others blame themselves) is still not a fully understood field. It's probably to do with genetics, maybe to do with stress, maybe to do with personal circumstance, maybe a mixture.

Or is it all just one big domino rally of cause and effect? The last domino falls where it does precisely because of the way in which the first one fell. This would mean that everything is predetermined and that choice is merely an illusion. Obviously, there are too many variables to predict the future but that doesn't mean that it's not predetermined.

One of the many things that suck about depression is that if women catch on that you have it, they will run a mile! That's why men try to hide it. Male depression is worse. It is seen as a sign of weakness and men are not allowed to be weak; EVER!

If a woman is sad or depressed (especially if she is pretty) people will pamper her and do everything to protect her and make her feel better. If a man feels depressed he will be told to snap out of it, or balls up. There is much more of a stigma attached to male depresson.

I personally think that depression is a mental thing, and not something pharmaceuticals can fix alone. I think there is always an underlying issue, and there is always a reason for depression. I think CBT is very helpful (not had it though), and although pharmaceuticals may help in the short term, I believe a person has to learn to cope with the issue long term.

I think the coping mechanisms are picked up as a child, and someone who has a bad experience in this, would probably suffer depression or some other mental issue in later life.

I think a big thing for men who are depressed is the lack of support. As someone has rightly mentioned on this thread, women may perceive a man as weak if he shows his depression. Also, men usually don't let out their emotions to other men regarding depression, as the response can often be "man up". So who does a man have to talk to? Instead, he just goes over it all in his head, spirallaing downwards until rock bottom.

Just my two cents

About 4 or 5 years ago, I was on holiday with a girlfriend, she was in the bath, and I was on the floor chatting to her.

We had this WIERD conversation about why everything happens, why we are here on earth, are things pre-determined, and it totally spun us out, and it kinda put us on a downer, cos we got to the point of "why are we here, if we just die at the end".

I've never had the conversation with anybody else ever since.. I tend not to think about it too much..

Co-incidentally I was thinking this through the other day. I mean, life does look quite prosaic after a while. People do the same things by and large, day in, day out, they follow a set path of marriage, kids, grandkids, retirement, gardening gardening gardening, death! (that Gardening bit courtesy of Dylan Moran, so funny). I had a long spell of travelling and hotels with work, you start to really see it in real time, when you're living like that pre-packaged lifestyle. You can't help but wonder what the bloody hell is going on and what the point of it is. This existential interest is a luxury of modern times, if I was about to be eaten by a bear I'd have more immediate concerns. It used to be a depressing thought, but now for some reason I draw more positive conclusions from it. I mean, we're gonna croak and it is all therefore a bit silly, but nonetheless we are here so we might as well relish our lives and enjoy ourselves!

PS