gents,

I am Nicobar. I have been suffering with mild depression for the past year. took some therapy and the shrink suggested I suffer from loneliness. It then just hit me that I have been living alone for nearly 7 years. My history is detailed below.

I am originally from India. I was a sprinter in my school back home. I was the alpha male in my class. My 100m record for under-15 city record still stands today. Had a girl friend and was with her for 5 years (from 13 to 18yrs) Lost my virginity at 15. I had a hell lot of friends. But one tragic day I lost my coach. And then all hell broke. My career plateaued. Took to steroids. Started having anger issues. Messed everything with my friends and my girlfriend. Failed to obtain any sports scholarship (rightly so as I cheated and but never won anything). I threw it all away.

My parents knew nothing of my problems. But my dad realised something was wrong and sent me to Aberdeen, Scotland to University when I was 19. Made some great friends. But I was not the old self any more. This new guy was a coward. selfless piece of shit. I just isolated myself after I graduated only meeting my friends once in few months. I started hating myself and my confidence was low. Cheated on once. Rejected a million times. I became a wreck. But I got a good job and is the only source of my happiness now. When I come home from work I sit in a corner and think of ways I can hurt myself. But I can't even do that as I don't even have balls for it.
Haven't visited my family in India for three years. How am I supposed to stand in front of them in this state? I have only visited them once in six years.

I am nearly 26 now and I can't let this go on. I need to change and get my life back for my parents. I came across this PUA thing when I was looking for help on confidence building and self help. I am not looking to become a super PUA or something. I just want my life and my confidence back and I am determined to do whatever it takes.

So there you go gents. you are the first people I have given such a detailed account of my life. Thanks to all those who read this far. But I need help. Can you help me?

I want to change. PLEASE HELP!!

Nicobar.

Name :Nicobar
Age: 25
Location: Aberdeen
Occupation: Engineer
PUA Experience:none

Sorry I missed the intro

Welcome Nicobar,

Respect for divulging your background and heartfelt plea. I hope you enjoy your time here and gain something from it, however the hard truth is at the end of the day you can only help yourself, and I hope that you do.

My suggestion to you would simply be to go out more, hang out socially with work colleague, join a local sports club or society of some sort that takes your interest, just build on from there. Having a network of people with whom you can partake in social activity will work wonders for your general happiness and wellbeing.

All the best.

Nicobar, The Comedian lives in The Granite City too! give him a PM

See http://www.puaforum.co.uk/find-wingm...-aberdeen.html

Good luck

Hi Nicobar,

I also joined myself a couple of days ago, maybe i can help you. My background is not PUA but i know a lot about Anxiety and Depression, having battled with it myself and still battleing it, and seen what it does to myself and to others.
I am on the road out of it but its been a difficult never ending battle.

You need to break the cycle, what you need to start doing is integrate with other people-- i know you dont want to see your family but you would actually draw strength from seeing your family, from making friends-- BUT i know the depression stops you from doing this/ stops you from wanting to do this even though it would make you feel better inside.

My Depression at its worst paralised me on the sofa, not being able to cope with doing even the smallest of tasks - like emptying my dish washer!, so being unable to face doing anything all i could do was sit and think about the things that made me depresed-- making myself feel worse and more depressed

When you get into this condition its not a case of 'bucking your ideas up', a sufferer of severe depression cannot mentally do this.
The only way you can beat this and become your old self again is to make friends, to see family - to begin to enjoy your life-- but i know that you mentally are not strong enough to do this-- this is where the medication comes in, the medication is a tool (not solution)that allows you to break your cycle of depression - of Rumination (negative self talk/thinking)
and allows you to feel normal and like you want to carry on with your life-- during this time its important you integrate/ make friends etc etc-- then eventually you have no need for the medication as you have 'fixed' the issues causing you the depression.
the medication i use is called Cytalopram, i strongly suggest you go see your Doctor and he will have you perform the depression scale and will no doubt prescribe that to you.

Ps i was also a sportsman that went down the steroids route.

Hope some of this helps, from someone thats been there!

Hey Nicobar

I'm in Aberdeen to man, I know how bad this town can be, cold weather, grey buildings and sky. It can really fuck with your head. You should get out and socialise more, also get ahold of some vitamin d suppliments they help me out a bit during the long winters.

You ever want to hang out man just drop me a pm

ye mate kowalski is right, pua creates nut jobs more than blow jobs,

go an get ur head str8 first mate

true, i mean just look what its done to phil

Gents,
Thanks for the support and advice. I have been taking counselling. Thanks Refl3x for the advice I will speak to my GP and counsellor about this. Kowalski/Phil, you are right, PUA is not for me now. I need to sort myself out first and start socialising more. I just need to hang out with people who can help me start socialising. I was thinking you guys with your social skills and confidence can help me get mine back. Comedian, thanks for the offer mate.

Nicobar

Dude, you know you have the skills and the qualities to have a flourishing social life. You are not socially impaired like some have been, so it is totally possible for you to get back to your old self and start enjoying life again.
I believe that with a little digging, you will brush away your coat of depression and loneliness. Sometimes it even takes just a hint to pull you out, and start being happy again. Hope you do it mate