Loss of Motivation

[Stein]

Something weird’s happened this week. Out of nowhere I’ve totally lost all my motivation.

My success at this has really upped over the past couple of months, numbers makeouts, lays, crazy shit etc. For a while it was like I was addicted to going out. If I had a night without meeting up with a girl or going out to a club I’d get antsy and irritable, like I had too much energy. Then last week I’d been getting pissed off at following up tons of unsolid numbers and couldn’t be bothered, so I decided for that week to not bother picking up numbers unless they were reeally solid, and it didn’t affect results much besides giving me free time.

The weird thing thats happened this week though is my ex bird who lives in the states has started contacting me loads and I think it’s thrown me off, because now I’ve got that can’t be arsed feeling about everything. I stayed in Thursday for the first time in months, and I went out last night and sucked. I was approaching the same way I always do, but wasn’t closing enough or capitalising on anything. Instead of excited I was just bored, with a ‘what’s the point’ sort of feeling. I even missed and absolutely blatant opportunity to pull. The girl practically walked me to her taxi and I just went home and didn’t bother. I didn’t care. It wasn’t nerves or fear or anything like that. I think I might be frustrated with having a shit load of interactions that are fairly meaningless.

Is my head playing tricks with me here? Am I missing something? Am I just being a bitch?
Let me know your opinions guys.

[daleinthedark]

Stein you are just being a bitch...

Nah just messing mate. Had exactly the same thing. I personally find that with great highs come big lows, so the more You rock when you're out, the worse you'll feel when you're not. I found balancing my life helped, so I went out but not as much but filled my other time with constructive stuff like salsa classes, going to the gym and surfing.

Also rather than following up on a load of girls all the time, have 1-2 regular FBs who you can drop and rotate when things dont work out, they want to get serious or something better comes along. Then you can still go out and pull girls (I like to do it just because I can) and follow it up more when 1 really takes your fancy.

You still get the good highs but because they dont build you up and drop off as the lows or quieter periods arent so few and far between.

[Joker]

Just my opinion of course:

Most guys live and die as slaves to the one pussy they’ve managed to accidentally negotiate themselves some regular access to.

Once you get past that and realise that you can pretty much get laid anytime you want to your focus is gonna shift onto other areas of your life, the areas in which you might still be unfulfilled.

The Professional? The spiritual? The emotional?

It’s not that you’ve lost motivation in relation to chasing tail, it’s that your success with pussy is affording you the breathing space to stop and take stock and spot the gaps elsewhere in other aspects of your life. Maybe it’s time to pick a favourite or two out of your bunch of options and free up some time and mental energy for other pursuits/passions? What do you really want and need? Maybe it’s a new job? Maybe it’s a trip to America to see this ex bird and sift through the ashes with of what you once had to see if there’s still a spark in there somewhere that might justify a second go around? Maybe it’s a change of focus or a change of scenery in some other regard? Maybe you should write that book you've always wanted to or take that trek you’ve always meant to get round to?

[Phil]

Originally Posted by Joker

Maybe it’s time to pick a favourite or two out of your bunch of options and free up some time and mental energy for other pursuits/passions? What do you really want and need?

i really like this, i never realised until now but i've been doing this for as long as i can remember & never even realised this is the reason why.

women have always really come second to the shit i enjoy doing. doing this really does allow u to focus on success

be careful however if u are not in control of your emotion, u can end up falling for one of them.

keep distance

[traptinrome]

very inspiring gentlemen.

@stein

After my low point last week, you were a guardian angel of sorts, so I'll say thanks.
I think pretty much everything I wanted to say with regards your post has pretty much been said also. I will however echo that perhaps your depression is related to aspects of life other than pickup: is your job okay? are you under a lot of stress at work? are you harbouring a desire to do something different with your life? are you bot sure of the answers to the preceding questions? do you have enough time for your hobbies? do you have a lot of hobbies?

It may also be that after satisfying your desire to catch a woman, you may now feel the need to keep one. Perhaps a monogomous relationship might be what you need at this point in your life. It could be the opposite however, in that now you've discovered "the truth", you feel that you could never trust a woman now, which inteferes with your long term goals and aspirations (I can relate to that somewhat).

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. Low points can be a shit, as I felt first hand a few weeks ago. Hope I gave you something to think about

[Stein]

Sincere thanks to all you guys, exactly what I needed to hear. My responses sort of bleed into each other so I’ll handle them with one big message instead of individually.

What I got from this mainly is that my focus on going out as much as possible (and having that as my main goal) is causing me to neglect other shit in my life. This strikes a chord instantly. Aside from this I’m a guitarist, a maths student, a producer and I do MMA. It’s always been sort of a balancing act, but as I got better at this I started neglecting all that shit pretty hard. For a while I was giving myself Sunday night off and every other night it was either a day 2 or going out. That’s both stupid and impossible if you want anything close to a normal life.

The weird thing is how addictive this shit can be. It’s understandable I guess, once you get it down you can just go out and get crazy amounts of validation from strangers out of nowhere. When you’ve been a bit of a chode most of your life that feels mental. It’s even weirder to me because I’m naturally an obsessive dude. As a music student I’d practise guitar 6 hours a day, I recently went to Thailand for 2 months and trained MMA for about the same amount of time per day. The thing is you can’t do that with pickup without your life exploding. This community can very easily make you love sight of your goals. I’m already past the kind of level I wanted to get to when I found out about this stuff. The whole pickup scene has this competitive vibe at times though like there’s some merit to pushing it to ridiculous levels.
It’s fairly obvious I need to get back to my other shit.

I think the whole thing this week has been my reaction to realising how little of a big deal picking up actually is when all is said and done. Been taking this far too serious. So yeah, still definitely going out when I want to but not at the expense of anything else anymore.

And by the way

Originally Posted by Joker

Most guys live and die as slaves to the one pussy they’ve managed to accidentally negotiate themselves some regular access to.

That's a hell of a quote.

Originally Posted by Joker

Most guys live and die as slaves to the one pussy they’ve managed to accidentally negotiate themselves some regular access to.

THIS.

Awesome

[Lovefish]

Again i have to whole heartedly agree,awsome quote.
That quote sums up the past 3yrs of my life!!