I also used to think of
pua as a 'big secret underground community' that I was associated with that I didn't want the rest of the world to know about (though I told close friends from the start) I guess a-lot like fight-club in a lot of ways (what is the first rule of fight-club?)
But in all seriousness I only really started improving when I toned down an identity of being some 'pick up guy' and just focused on becoming a more actively social and confident person. Sure using all the canned material and stuff works for a bit, till you realise how sad and fake it is, nevertheless I guess it was part of the learning curve.
It was only a year a go I used to get paranoid walking down the street, hated bumping into people I didn't know that well, found it a challenge to keep eye contact when in conversations, and stuttered/panicked when talking to girls and even some guys. If you met me now you'd laugh if I told you the above things saying 'bollucks'. As Mr T would say 'I pitty da fool'. Stop idolising the bullshit 'pick-up' lifestyle and if you were anything like I was you just need to get out more and spend more time with people.