Im 34

the fact is all my female friends attractive - i have no ugly friends (except Phil)
Dont see the point in what? them coming round? - they are good long term friends why wouldnt we see each other
or the point in having sex? - they are attractive women, we care for each other but wouldnt want a relationship together, we are attracted to each other and they feel comfortable with me.

sounds to me like you cannot seperate emotion, lust, desire, friendship etc
i can, most girls can too

Probably true - is that a bad thing? I'm not saying it's bad for you to have your attitudes or some women but it's just not me. If I'm attracted, then I usually get an emotional connection after a while and want it to go further. If I don't want it to go further then I almost immediately lose any attraction for the girl or even the need to talk and be friends with them - it is that black and white for me.

And on a more general question, what happens to those people that want to get into a long term relationship? All of a sudden their emotion, lust, and friendship combine into 1? It sounds to me that perhaps that's why they have FB relationships for ages, because they can't find that combination in 1 place. I find that combination a lot even if the relationship might come to an end after x months, x years.

A bit on the side can be perfectly acceptable. Plenty of people are mature enough to understand sex as sex and relationships as something entirely different. It is entirely possible to have a relationship but also have sex outside of the relationship with a partner's consent. Many people do in fact do this.

As for casual sex relationships. Yes they can be completely devoid of relationship feelings, there are many people like this. Everyone here has probably met plenty of people that they know they would NEVER want a relationship with because of x character defect/s but are still physically attracted to. A relationship takes more than a physical attraction and sometimes that just isn't there, that does not however mean that a physical relationship isn't out of the question. This is absolutely no different for women. There are many different types of people though, some are capable of it, others are not.

You Genepoole are simply of the group that always wants relationships. There are people that want no relationship whatsoever. There are people that enjoy both. There are people that enjoy relationships with sex on the side. There are also people that enjoy polyamory, 3 or more having a single relationship together.

People are different. Not everyone pursues or even wants the same thing. There is no right or wrong in any of this beyond that of the ethical one, which everyone agrees on.

this is to do with ur own insecurities.... if you feel like this every time. u have a problem that needs addressing.

why be so needy... when u say "you want it to go further" this basically means

u want her to stop fuckin other guys. i dont care if the girls im fuckin are fuckin other guys, not my concern...

i just dont think about it

eh? How is that a security problem?
It's not that a want it to go further to stop them from fucking other guys, it's that I want it to go further because I am attracted to them and like them. Why wouldn't I want to get to know the person more and become emotionally involved - the sex is far better when you actually know the person for a while intimately.

Not necessarily.

I brought a girl back to my mates house, I knew her a little bit but not really know what she is like.. we had wild sex all night long and it was the best night of my life! We were drinking as well which probably heightened it all, but I fucked her in the morning sober and she was pure slutty filth!! You don't NEED a relationship for this..

Admittedly.. sex in my first LTR was also amazing and I really did feel that deep connection (or at least I thought I did back when I was 14/15!)

GenePoole, whilst you are correct that everyone is different etc and that you prefer your way of thinking, have you ever tried the other school of thought? Have you tried seperating sex and love and emotions etc? Does it scare you?

Do you have a wank to porn? do you also then want a relationship with the porn star?

this in its exagerated form is the same thing other people do when they just have sex with somone and dont want relationship

why cant you do this without an LTR????

Doesn't scare me. I've had ONS and short term flings (less than week) before but never longer than that unless it was a LTR (6months, 1 year, 2 years, etc.). ALso, they were never with the aim of keeping it short, I just lost interest in the person very quickly.
My point is that if I don't like someone, I lose attraction for them therefore am not interested in FB relationships.

It's an exaggeration though - you very easily argue that you wouldn't want to spend your whole life wanking to porn