Heres my situation:

I fucked Jess couple years ago.. Then I got a girlfriend, we didn't talk much, and now I'm single and so is Jess, we've been out for lunch a couple times and had a good chat. I made Jess aware I want to be single, and this did not seem to be an issue, she was all up for meeting me again (And I don't think she means just as friends cos we flirt as well etc).

All seemed to be going well, she was guna come "watch a movie" at mine one night, until THIS WEEKEND JUST GONE. I was at Skegness with another girl katrina. Jess asked what I'm doing, so I told her who I was with. She was asking me stuff if "me and katrina are seeing each other" and stuff like that, to which I replied, no, we're just friends and fancied a drive to Skeg. Which is true.

Since telling her I was with another girl, Jess has backed off and backed off. Her texts are shorter, she's not flirty, and when she tells me her free days, she always comes up with an excuse not to see me. Todays was "I'm going to the gym".

Now, I don't care about not seeing her, I'll just meet someone else. But I just don't understand WHY she has backed off just cos I was with another girl. Why is she no longer interested, Why is she not responding to flirting, why is she making excuses not to see me? I want to know if I've done something wrong so I don't push other girls away too.

maybe she can see value in herself

I would do exactly the same to a chick because i know i have a LOT of value

by telling her you were out with another girl (which she will take as you fucking her just like you want to do with Jess) she will feel like she has no value to you and wether she sees you as just a fuck friend or wether she sees you as somthing she might want to pursue further - she would rather walk away

Can this situation be rectified?

Can I avoid this situation in future?

The difference between me and some of my snakey friends is, I was totally honest with Jess (and look where it got me), and instead, they all just promise the girls love and commitment then fuck them off when it gets serious! Frustrating to be honest..

Ive mastered using political answers to those difficult questions

HB: So what you looking for?
Me: I deally Miss Right but i`ll keep on ploughing through some Miss Wrongs till i find her

HB: What you doing?
ME: Im out with one of my Pals

simple-- why give them enough info to hang you with?

When i was out with Phil in liverpool we were bantering with 2 chicks at a cashmachine

HB: Do you think i look fat
Phil: yes
...THE END

HB: Do you think i look fat?
Me: Nothing i couldnt burn off you with a weekend together.
...WIN


Phil is an all or nothing person - he will either spectacularily win or he will burn

If you give full disclosure then you will lose a percentage of chicks
you can however give neutral answers and keep them all - and no that doesnt involve lieing either

If you are aware that, by withholding the information, you are deliberately fostering a misconception in the other person's mind, then it is just as bad as a lie. It is a form of deception, designed to hide, or manipulate, or circumvent the truth.

It performs the same function as a lie and is therefore equally as bad.

you've been blown out cos you were a bit of a dick to her and she has a bit of respect for herself.

reflex makes a fair point as it said in the art of seduction I think it was or maybe speed seduction but anyway.

being vague is a good idea cos it creates mystery and peeps fill in the blanks with what they wanna hear.

as for what jay said. I lie all the time and so does everyone. sometimes the truth isn't always the best answer.

I saw bullshit a bit but beware of spinning a web of deceit cos that's when the shit hits the fan.

she may be playing hard to get. You should just move on.

Being someone that everyone vehemently trusts because you do not make the same unnecessary white lies as everyone else is extremely valuable. People have absolutely zero uncertainty when it comes to any social bullshit kicking up, you become the guy everyone looks to for the real story, the real answers, free of bollocks. Nobody challenges you because you have an army of people that will never believe anything an attacker spins against you because you always tell it as it is.

If you do not participate in anything that is really dickish then there's no reason not to always be honest. The general white lies people tell are ridiculously unnecessary and not telling them is more beneficial because of the massive trust you build.

Why was I a dick to her? I fucked her like 2 n half years ago, but I didn't just drop her. We just grew apart a bit, then I got a girlfriend. I never blocked her out. Perhaps I should have made this more clear in my original post..

And what do you mean by she has respect for herself? Am I not allowed female friends now in her eyes or something? This doesn't make sense to me..

Please elaborate

I like the advice on being vague and not revealing everything at once.. But I'd rather not lie to get laid.. I will move on, her loss