Good analysis, I heard you can buy some substance for $99.99 somewhere online, might need to get me some.

well dont focus on one girl. one day youll find a girl who is also into you.

doubkle post

that's not really the deal dude, I've found many girls who are into me. I've had quite a few LTRs as well, but nothing lasting longer than two years and I am almost 34 now. It's more that I have fucked some of them up that I might have liked to have continued, because of drunken antics, and not having a clear future mapped out.

Of course a lot of breakups have also been my own choice and some of them not my fault; I'm not taking ownership of everything. My last LTR wanted me to move to America with her, but I wasn't feeling it any more, and still have my own path to build. If it wasn't for the drink I'd be a very elegible bachelor by now.

It's not all about women either. In fact I'm thinking more of myself and that I'd like to really get my writing career off the ground. Actually, my latest novel is with a publisher right now, so fingers crossed.

Anybody on the forum is welcome to a free copy on ebook by the way ;-)

I once woke up in hospital they found me passed out on the pavement.
A girl I know she's in America now but I really want to be with her and one of the biggest reasons is she doesn't drink.
I hate the drink society but it's my society.
quick fact in the uk 10% don't drink 40% drink casually 50% are alcoholics if you don't drink for a while and look at your facebook statuses you'll realise this to be true

I've been controlling my drinking for a week now and already I feel full of energy, happier, and have landed a decent translating job for a scuba diving association who are throwing me in the advanced course for free as a bonus.

Pat on the back, buddy.

I'm glad to hear that you have identified that you have a problem, and that you have taken action against it. I applaud you for it and I hope that many more things in your life fall into place as a result

Much love,

Craigus

Hey Midas,

I feel I can relate alot to you with alcohol getting in the way of life. I until recently used to have the same problem with not being able to stop drinking once I had started, and a hangover just wrote off the whole day! Since all my peer groups are heavy drinkers as a uni student/rugby player it has been difficult to cut back. What helped me is to no longer associate drinking as part of who I am and to remind myself that theres nothing beneficial alcohol provides me that I could not do sober.

From your post I do feel your own feelings about your identity is maybe causing some sort of 'self fulfilling prophecy' where by you believe you are 'a certain type of guy' (from past experiences and or others judging you) and act accordingly (this can be massivly subconcious.) This is quite a bold statement since I dont know you, but It's just something I've notice before with people. Also you talk frequently of the 'lover'/'provider' distinction and how its almost some 'genetic thing'. Truth is they are just two common behavioural representations and in my opinion they certainly are not set in stone. It just seems this way as the topic stems into 'evolutionary psychology' and alot of people (particuarly PUA guys) label the ideas/theories in this discipline so definitively.

I have numerous examples of friends who were once very beta, supplicating, quiet, shye, provider types most of which were virgins, but they changed. Some went travelling, a couple joined the army and one moved to a different city. Now in varying degrees they're completely confident guys, and they all take what they want from life, most of them getting SNL's with ease. What I'm really trying to say is I personally feel the problems your having in your relationships are a result of your own thoughts setting you back. Perhaps the alcohol was playing a bigger part than you realised? Also Using ex's as feedback after you break up to analyse yourself is not always advisable either since girls think emotionally and don't always express their feelings accurately verbally. Anyways good luck dude .

I have seriously been cutting down on my drinking for a couple of weeks now and I must say that already there are massive differences. I feel totally chilled out and things that might normally irritate me flow like water off a duck's back.

Work is going great and I am in control of my emotions and temper. As a result of this I have much more power in the relationship I am in. In fact, at the moment, it all seems pretty effortless and relaxed.

Really? 34 is pretty late to never have had a relationship longer than 2 years...