Kowalski,
True, this kid isn't really endearing himself to everyone on here (especially with his latest thread about goodbyes - wtf is that all about!).
But I think his point about canned material being something to fall back on when stuck has some merit, especially when it comes to people who are new to all this (including myself).
Luckily, I don't tend to have a problem creating good, meaningful conversation anyway. But for those who do, canned material can be a fail-safe, and give just a little more confidence to that person's game.

Much love,

Craigus

Where do we draw the line with what is canned and what isn't? If you tell a joke, is that canned? If you play a party game, is that a canned routine? What if you sing a popular song? What if you quote your favourite movie, or do a funny impression of something somebody else said. What if you use words that were not invented by you?

I think if we were being completely and utterly un-canned we would just sit there gurgling like babies.

So true.

spot on.

midas some peeps on here r full of shite. its just ego talk, im natural, natural is best..blah blah blah utter shite!

love u kowalski :P

I'm just gonna say one last thing on the subject - I in no way think anyone should use canned material as if they are reading from a script. No one can anticipate where a conversation is going to lead, and believeing that you can have canned stuff ready at your disposal for any outcome is just plain dumb.

But I believe Flamma's original post was to ask about what others do/talk about to get a girl into a positive emotional state.
Kowalski, you're a fan of NLP aren't you? (sorry in advance if i'm wrong)
If so, the whole NLP angle of PU is about eliciting positive emotional states in others: Anchoring & Chunking Up being just two examples.

So, in answer to Flamma's post:
I'd talk about the girls passions, or something that she has done in the past that she has really had fun with (ie, something positive in her life) - by getting her to explore those feelings and expand upon them, she starts to relive them, and in reliving them, brings all those positive feelings to her present state. If you know how to, you can anchor these feelings with a certain touch/action, that, if done properly, will bring all those feelings back to her everytime you activate your anchor - look into some NLP training, it's decent stuff.

Hope this helps.

Much love,

Craigus

Out of interest, does this 'feeling' you exert on the girl in question make her feel like she's genuinely getting to know you, or is it an temporary illusion where she's associating other events with you? It all sounds very awkward to me, but hell, I've never practised NLP. I'd much rather generate strong feeling in her that are directed towards myself by saying stuff I mean, about her. Surely that can be equally emotional for her?

haha, fair enough, Kowalski - my apologies. I assumed you were interested in NLP, mostly because of that BBC documentary about the mind that you posted about the other day (good shout btw, it's a great program).

Nova, NLP anchoring is not about 'exerting a feeling' on someone, nor is it an illusion of feelings - anchoring is something we all do, all the time: it's merely the association of a feeling.

Have you ever had a song that reminds you of a certain time in your life? If so, that song is an anchor that brings those feelings back to you (Music producers do this all the time - they get a song played over and over in a holiday resort (like Ibiza, Kavos etc) so that when you get back to grey old england, you will go and buy that song to remind you of all the fun and sunshine (think about that Riverside tune last summer))
Another example of anchors: an old girlfriend of mine used to keep one of my skarves because the smell of my aftershave on it would remind her of me. (the scarf was an anchor)
An example of a negative anchor would be the feelings of fear/anger/hate that a victim of a crime would feel if they revisited the scene of said crime. (the location is an anchor)

BF Skinner was a prominent psychologist from the early 1900's (he was covered in that BBC doc the other day) who first discovered that we all have emotional triggers, whether that be through natural/evolutionary cultivation (eg, the smell of food triggers hunger; or big tits=boner), or through artificial cultivation (eg, a red traffic light means stop; or as seen in 99% of the advertising that we are bombarded with everyday).

Tbh, I've never really done any anchoring when trying PU, but I have helped some friends develop thier own anchors for emotional states: eg, if they want to feel confident, they think about a time/event where they felt super confident. While thinking about that time/event, you create and develop an anchor, which, after a period of time cultivating that anchor, can be triggered in order to get themselves directly into that confident emotional state.

Much love,

Craigus

The difference here being the emotional feeling is associated directly to you. It is you she is thinking about, not someone or something else. I find that PU-NLP suggests that we try to artifically tag past emotions onto ourselves to create a resemblence. I'm sure it works, I just find it a tad unecessary. Good emotions can be created off your own back, through the stories you tell, the way you make her laugh, and the looks you give her. I prefer to see this a source of the emotions I evoke in a girl.

Yeah, fair point Nova. Creating genuine positive emotions for her rather than anchoring old ones will always be better, and essentially be less work - besides, I think you have to be like a Derren-Brown-style-ninja-wizard to be able to create anchors instantly and effectively: the anchors that I did with my friends took a series of weeks while I was doing some NLP training.

Much love,

Craigus

yeah, tbh I'm not 100% sure myself on the PU applications of NLP (again, unless you're a master) - I did my NLP training a few years ago, before I even found out about PU or RJ: it was a part of a sales training course that I took further out of pure interest - it's certainly good for inner game, and building confidence: 5 years ago, fresh out of uni, I used to be the most shy person in the world - I could never speak in front of big groups of people etc. But NLP certainly helped me no end. In fact, in December I was bestman at my mates wedding, and I tell ya: I fuckin OWED that speech!! Something I could never have done previously.

Yeah... I didn't mean that literally, dude. You could change that 'Derren Brown' bit in my post to Gandalf, or Jesus, or Uri Gellar - I just meant that Anchoring is very labour intenstive unless you're damn-well versed at it.

Mind you, if he wasn't gay, I bet Derren Brown would be a god at picking up girls!

Much love,

Craigus