Woah woah woah woah woah! What is going on here then?! You're talking about knowingly wrecking the lives of some kids who don't deserve it. That is wrong. There is no way I'm gonna dress this up: If you do this, you are in the wrong.

Look, I don't give a fuck about women who cheat on their boyfriends with me. That's their boyfriend's problem, not mine. I've been cheated on before, and I've been with girls who have got long term boyfriends before. I will make the offer to girls, it is up to them to refuse it.

Whether they're married or not makes no difference to me. Marriage is a load of shit anyway.

BUT... As soon as kids are involved, it becomes a whole lot more complicated. What you are about to do isn't something simple or easy. It isn't a laughing or a joking matter. It is something very, very serious. You're about to take some kids who have got a Mum and a Dad living at home together, and you're about to destroy a potentially stable household and nurturing environment.

Yes - you. This will be your fault. Obviously it makes her a useless trollop as well who in herself needs a good firm talking too for being unable to take responsibility for her life. But that doesn't absolve you of responsibility also for fucking those kid's lives up.

I don't give a fuck if she's an 8, a 9, a 10. 'Sorry kids - I fucked your lives up. But your Mum's just too fit. I'm sure you'll understand.'

Nope, sorry, doesn't work.

And - don't, just don't even go there with the whole 'if I don't do this, then someone else will' argument. Take responsibility for your own actions. Full, unequivocal responsibility.

I read a thought experiment once that went like this: A man with a conscience is a member of an invading army. The army goes around a town pillaging and plundering. At one point, the man and his company come across a young woman. The man's superiors orders him to rape the woman. The man hesitates at first, as he is not a rapist. But, then he proceeds, and rapes the woman on the basis that he will be shot if he doesn't, and someone else will do it anyway.

Still makes him a rapist.

Still makes you a home wrecker.

Please, think very, very carefully. Every action you take has consequences for those upon whom those actions impact. And every action has impact, no matter how subtle (or, in this case, devastating).

Back off from her. Tell her she shouldn't be doing what she's doing, and to think of her kids, who's lives she is on the brink of fucking up. Tell her to grow up and to take responsibility. Then wait 10 days and fuck someone else.

Ok?

i beleive karma gives u bad where u have given it... whether its true or not, i prefer to stay in a moral stance on some issues, not through fear of being punished, but just coz i think its wrong.

also, i dont beleive in heaven & hell or god, but i do beleive in a force beyond our comprehension, so id prefer not to fuck ur bird even tho she wants to midas... coz i like ya

I got a girl with a boy friend that wants to have me so badly but I told her my rule yet she still pesters. If she wants it that bad she can leave him if not oh well plenty more out there.

Shes not got kids, just lives with this guy. I don't know him he seems like a bit of a dick but you never know. I'd rather not have to deal with any shit from quick fixes in life.

Fact of the matter is this - if a chick has children and decides to cheat on the dad, its 100% her fault. Her decision to have kids, her decision to cheat. If she plays with fire and the kids get burnt, the blame lies with her. The other guy obviously has nothing to be proud about, especially if he is aware she is married/in a relationship where kids are involved prior to committing the naughty deed. And of course, the same applies if its the guy cheating on his missus and kids. If you don't want to be in an exclusive relationship, then do the right thing before you destroy whats left of a sorry situation.

I digress...

BCB - if your account of the situation is 100% correct, then you know deep down this bird is a slag. I wouldn't advocate nailing her because I'd like to think I would walk away from this situation, however the realist in me says she will give in to temptation sooner rather than later, whether its with you or someone else (and I hope you're not naive enough to think that you're the only guy who she's been fooling around with by the way).

Unfortunately, it seems like its only a matter of time before the kid is asking mummy why they don't live with daddy anymore.

kowalski write a book and i will buy it

Well - she is 100% responsible for her actions, and the impact those actions has on others. Similarly, he is 100% responsible for his actions, and the impact those actions has on others.

By encouraging a mother / father to cheat on his / her kids, the third party is impacting on the lives of those kids, who did nothing to deserve it. They did nothing wrong, yet they will be the innocent victims.

Yes, victims.

If you're comfortable with your selfish actions leaving innocent victims behind in your wake, fine. Proceed. Personally, I'm not, and therefore wouldn't.

Well obviously. If the guy is unaware of any kids, there isn't much he can do about it. But if he discovers some kids which had previously been concealed, surely his perceptions of the woman in question must change to the point that he no longer wants anything to do with her?

I'm aware of this - 'innocent victims who did nothing wrong' can also be taken to apply to those who have been cheated on.

However, I have to admit to thinking the whole boy / girl thing is something of a dog eat dog world. Some random lad who sees your girl out isn't going to think twice about you and your feelings. If you get with someone, then you run the risk of them cheating on you. That's a fact of life. So - screen, and don't risk your emotions with girls who are likely to cheat on you. I've done this before, and you also recommend it.

I think its fair to say that, broadly (and aware I am generalising on something which is much more complex than this), if you're cheated on, you get over it, and you get on with things. Harsh, but I think thats true. I accept its fucking horrible. Some twat has made your life a misery. But, that's life.

If your parents split up because one of them cheated on the other (and I accept there are a myriad of other reasons parents split up... And as someone who's parents are still happily married, I can claim no particular knowledge of the emotions involved), especially at a young age, surely this will impact on your emotional upbringing. The consequences of your actions threaten to severely impact on that upbringing.

Kids can't screen their parents though. Every kids deserves the opportunity of having a stable household to grow up in. However they get no say whatsoever in whether or not that is given to them. Kids can't reject a couple of sets of parents until they find a couple who are both responsible adults who will both take good care of them.

Its not the same thing, therefore, as we owe different responsibilities to young kids than we do to strangers.

I don't feel I've explained that particularly well. I'm sure you'll pull it to pieces though K

Man, this generated a lot more debate and emotional response than I expected

Thanks for your thoughts guys...

Here's what's going to happen. Gonna remain friendly with her (she's a quality laugh in the clubs), but squash the escalation... guess in the world of PUA, sometimes a moral victory is the best thing you can hope for

So its acceptable to screw a bird who is in a relationship, fuck over a fellow bloke if he found out and potentially ruin aspects of his life in the future (or at the very least make him miserable as fuck for a period of time), but its completely out of order to commit the same act when a kid is involved, as this could potentially ruin aspects of the kid's life in the future?

That's a very peculiar set of morals.

Is it really that peculiar? That I think all's fair in love and war, except it goes a little far when kids lives are getting fucked up and as said lovers we have a duty to ensure the defenceless and those unable to engage in combat aren't harmed?

I accept there appear to be contradictions. But I don't understand why its such a peculiar set of morals.