Ok so theres a bit of a problem im having..

I text a girl give her mixed signals, cocky funny, confident etc meet up with her have fun make deep connections and rapport and get on great, i know she is attracted to me but i dont want to tell her how much i like her.... sure i may be give her compliments etc but i dont ask her out and am scared that if i start to tell her how great i think she a few things come into my head: i look 'weak' a wuss, just like every other guy who tells her how awesome she is, what im doing is working atm why change it, im falling into the afc mindset?

This is all of course bullshit and i know better than this, its the years of reading pu which has fuked up my head, thinking faaar to much into things questioning everything and being so afraid of doing anything afc because that stuff "doesnt work"....

So basically i remember people saying on here that once u have attraction u can stop all the bullshit games and just tell her honestly that u like her alot?

Reason behind this is because a girl i recently was meeting started going out with someother guy, theyve now broke up, she said she didnt think i wanted her, and if she new how i felt she never would of went out with the guy... no one wants to feel like the person they like doesnt like them back and is maybe just playing around....its not the first time this has happened.. but its like this big alarm going off now when i start to tell a girl how great i think she is..like it will make me look needy or whatever....

I believe that in the future i should tell a girl how i like her but in a confident alpha way, she may then try and test me for neediness etc as long as i pass that then its all good...

Once you have attraction you can stop the pua shite and just be open in your feelings, correct?

how well do you know this girl?
if this is a girl you have just met and you 'really like her', ask yourself why?.. what has she done to make you think like this? if you can give yourself a genuine reason, cool.

otherwise, the problem is with you. you're too needy and youre looking for something and this girl could be anyone. in that case - chill out.

Do you realize the underlying assumption: 'you have to play bullshit games in order to create attraction?'

I question that.

Thanks guys for the input i do really appreciate it. Basically it was just that when i first met with her she mentioned about how she gets alot of attention from guys and told that she is pretty insecure, some guy said your not that great looking and it really upset her, so although i would like to tell her no no ur amazing ur really beautiful, u have stunning hair/eyes etc i didnt think i should because i thought im just validating her, giving her compliments, im running the risk of just being some guy who makes her feel high value.. so i was careful to try and avoid this...its always been a problem for me, not telling a girl enough the individual things i like when its a particulary gorgeous girl.. also this i like this girl not because i find her good looking but she has a great personality someone who would get on great with my friends, who i can really have deep conversations with...

She started texting me after she broke up with her bf, and said "are we friends" this kinda annoyed me and i made it clear, "it would be very hard to be "just" friends with someone i liked....and i dont stand for being treated like that, i wont be played around with, getting the feeling ur done with him and now your back to talking to me after ignoring me while you were seeing him.." thats when she told me that she didnt think i wanted her and she was sorry etc, then she said it was a mistake to start going out with that guy and she would love to be friends and i said id like that too. and she replied with, im really grateful.

so i mean i know she likes me but i mean im struggling yet again to understand if i should be letting her know that i like her, does it make me seem wussy, weak... was talking to her on fb and she said did u see my formal pics, i said no (although i had), she was obviously looking for a compliment about her dress and i said nice dress... i mean could i be totally honest and say you look absolutely stunning in it....

dont think i would have this problem with other girls who arent a "hb9" who are a bit more compliment seeking...

also maybe noteworthy she added me on facebook and liked the look of me, she has a thing for "hot fighters" apparently... so that got her intial interest, then i got some deep rapport with her and escalating pretty well chatting on fb, problem was i didnt have the balls to really make very many moves on her when i was meeting her for dates...not going to lie.. i liked her and was nervous and anxious when i thought about escalating, i remember thinking about kissing her but my mouth would go dry and i could feel my hands sweating and my heart racing i found it hard to relax... this comes in practice i suppose...

so im just playing it friendly with her for a while and might meet her in a week or two..as it comes to up to christmas that real lonely feeling is hitting me..seeing couples everywhere...

But im determined to fix this part of my life now and get over my fears and make shit happen..maybe a break from game would do me good, thinking too deeply into stuff these days..


Thanks for reading guys, even writing this down helps me out

I wanted to ruffle your feathers a bit with my earlier question.

An eloquent and sincere compliment will make her feel great about herself AND show your confidence.

Tell you what.
You can give compliments AND pick-up a girl. I know it goes against disqualification theories bla-bla-bla but it works.


Now, we could talk about what make a well-delivered compliment: tonality, timing, spontaneity.
All things that do not come in a ready-made recipe.
Instead they require inner-game develoment and enough guts to take chances.

PS: A well-delivered-compliment is NOT an online comment on one of her Facebook pictures. Any girl half way decent gets 12 of those eveytime she changes her profile pic. Lame.

Thanks guys for the help, i just have to overcome my fears one step at a time and i also need to start phoning girls rather than just texting.

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” - Lao Tzu

Best of luck with your journey man, I like hearing about your progress.

Off topic hows the BJJ going man? Victors having an end of year seminar on Sunday, dont suppose you'l making the journey from N.Ireland will you?

its going great man, still havent got a chance to show it off in the cage tho kod last guy before i had a chance hehe well braulio is actually coming over on saturday mate! but will have to get myself over to england at some point

Ah good stuff man, thats gonna be an awesome seminar. We have Ze Radiola at ours on Sunday too, cannot wait

Play it cool... play it sooo cool that she doesn't even know! Oh the irony.