Unfortunately there are not many educated people, and fewer educators. Or perhaps there are plenty, but people don't want to learn. Same result.

Regardless of peoples views on if or why they 'get into shape', I would stand by the fact that you shouldn't try to change the other person to save your relationship. But by all means generally encourage and motivate positive behaviour.

On this note:
I'm pretty well educated about human biology & have good knowledge about nutrition, but I'm still fat. I've gone from being fat (25 stone) to slim (15 stone) and am once again fat(20 stone). Knowing what the right thing is and doing it are 2 very different things. Some people don't have the relationship with food that makes them get fat, for people that do, getting slim and staying slim require effort and self control. What usually happens is people lose the weight then relax and let the slow creep begin. I think it will take constant effort throughout my life if I am to be slim and stay slim.

Yes I have massive confidence issues, why else would I have ended up on a PUA site in the first place. I somehow doubt anyone on here can honestly say they haven't had massive confidence issues in the past, I stress the word honestly.

You take the looks argument to the extreme there, I said in my first post I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, I am apparently good looking though (if also overweight). Life is very graded, if I'm being open again, I've been told by most of my friends and several of my family, that they are "surprised" I'm with her, take that how you will.

You feel sorry for her because I'm fucking with her head.. what by being honest about how I've been feeling?(except the last month), from telling her from the start that this is all a terrible idea, that I'll hurt her? The only thing I haven't been honest about is how I feel about her looks (this has changed as I've been loosing weight and she hasn't), there's no need to be a cunt. I haven't tried to break up with her to mess with her head, I'm not a cunt. I am however weak willed, hence my substance issues and the fact that she's managed to pull me back each time. I can't believe that she's managed to. I'm now in the situation where she's having a really really difficult time with a couple of other things at the moment, and I don't want to dump more shit on her.

Actually fuck it, whatever course of action I take here I'm going to end up being a bad guy, if I end it now it might push her over the edge, if I don't end it now it's going to keep tearing at me and probably make it worse in the long run.

I'm not actually interested in sleeping around, I did it a bit when I was younger and it left me feeling empty. Oh yeah and I know no-one has brought it up as yet, but I have NEVER cheated, been cheated on, but never cheated.

Oh yeah and amit, I see you thanked Jaz for that post. At least I'm not the kind of little fuckwit that'll cheat and not give a fuck how people feel. If I didn't give a fuck about her feelings I wouldn't be in this situation.

Anyway fuck it, release the lions!

She hasn't managed to do anything. You've just been too weak.

You talk about this as if you're somehow different, as if nobody has been there before - I've been in the same situation. Punching below my weight on the looks aspect, while knowing it's not right, nice girl, tried to break up and she was in a bad way herself. You're not a fucking charity. If you can't be with someone, stop wasting both of your time.

More so, stop being a pussy.

You know as well as any man that a woman's words differ greatly from her actions. It works both ways. You can't just tell a girl 'this is a terrible idea' or 'don't fall for me' etc. because your body is telling her otherwise. You're still there. Your relationship is one sided, weak and hollow. That's not fair on either of you.

Good call on Amit, but you're not in a position to give life talks when you're not taking others advice.

Fair call, I'll rephrase that I can't believe that I'm weak and pathetic enough to have allowed this to happen. The real question is am I actually going to do anything about it, actually no it's really how long is it going to take me to do something about it. I wish I could answer this. Maybe I am a cunt, just not a total cunt.

Take it easy guys, I might check back in once I grow a pair.

Oh before I go, let me remind you of this

uh, maybe different girlfriend, the point stands..
(Yes before someone points this out, I'm making this point as a defense mechanism, I'm disgusted by my current inaction so I'm highlighting something I find abhorrent)