Pathetic
 

I'm fully aware I'm going to get cussed down for this post, I just need a forum to air how I'm feeling at the moment...
p.s I'm currently very drunk...

So I haven't really posted on here since Jan, basically when I fell into a relationship..

So I've now become one of those guys that's stayed with "the first girl that I've managed to get regular access to some pussy from" Actually not the first, just the most recent.

I came on here feeling pathetic because I hadn't been layed in n months, I became determined to change the path of my life. Anyway cue a few dates with girls who basically bored the shit out of me, I end up on a date with a girl who whilst by far from the most attractive girl I've ever dated(read the least attractive of my actual girlfriends(a couple of my ex's have been models)), she's lovely(I mean a really reallly nice person) and we get on really well.

Now this is a long time ago now, I posted a lay report at the time, I was so happy that I'd actually got some. I've now been with her for 10 months (In the beginning I tried to chase her away, tried to break up with her, she always managed to pull be back. I don't really find her attractive (pretty but fat(great in bed though)). I've come to feel for her, even though I know that I won't marry her, I know that if I break up with her it'll devastate her, I don't want to do that, she's lovely.

I guess I'm scared that I'll end up alone, I seem to have this pattern where I chase girls away, the only ones pathetic enough to stick around are desperate. (I'm far from ugly, but I'm hardly Brad Pitt)

I guess I'm just terrified of being alone, I break up with girls (more push them away till they break up with me, I find it easier and yet more
painful that way))
I'm now in the position that however I look at things I can't lie to myself anymore, I won't marry this girl, but it causes me real pain when I think how much breaking up with her will hurt her, if I'm totally honest I'm crying right now writing this, I know how much damage and harm my selfish actions will cause. At this point in time I hate myself for the damage I'm going to do to a good person, but I do also recognize that I can't sacrifice my happiness and well being for that of another person, I have great times with my GF, but I do wonder if that is because of who she is, or just having that truly intimate relationship with another human.

For anyone who's actually read this, thank you for taking the time, I apologise for the lack of coherence, I don't really expect any constructive feedback, I expect to be told to stop being such a little bitch. I did however need to air this out, I expect I'll read this tomorrow and amend slightly, but this is my current incoherent mind.
Much love,
Drew

Giant I have been in a similar situation and it is never nice.

My advice would be to ask yourself honestly, do you and this chick have a future? I mean look deep, you say she's really nice, are you just breaking up with her because you think you could find somebody "fitter"

If you still want to break up with her then just do it fast like a plaster. If the girl I was with didn't want to be with me I would want her to finish quickly so that I could move on and be happy elsewhere rather than dragging out a relationship going nowhere...

if your not attracted to her. its not worth it in my eyes. however i have come to realise that its more important to have someone whos good to you, than someone fit who is gonna be shit to you...

i just happened that the only girl who ive met who has been that nice.. just turned out to be the fittest girl ive been with. so maybe my opinion is worthless

Stop being so hard on yourself mate.

Why are you terrified of being alone? Do you think you won't ever meet someone this nice again, did you think that before her?

From the way you've spoken about her, it's obvious you don't believe you're a good fit. It's not enough for the girl just to be 'nice' - you've got to have some real, in-tune spark to maintain a full relationship.

You're not happy here, I would second what Dale said - make it quick. I think though that in actually writing that post you've already made your decision, you just wanted second opinion.

perhaps then join the gym with her.

Fat girls stay fat. Thin girls stay thin. Occasionally one crosses into the other for a few months, be they always revert.

Rarely you'll get a hippo becoming a model, and rarely, you'll get a model becoming a hippo.

Basically, don't try to change them into what you want, you'll just get frustrated and disappointed.

Did they do it to be more attractive to you, or for themselves? I would bet if it was the first reason, and you stayed with them long enough, it would revert.

not entirely sure this is true. i think once someone knows the benefits of being in good shape. People treat you better, more respect, health benefits & general well being

i used to be a chunk.

its just about educating people

I probably shouldn't have made that post, I was rather drunk and feeling lost.

Weight is something that can change, that can be changed, if that were the only thing I'd be encouraging her (actually I kind of am, I'm currently on the path to being slim again) Whilst she is a really nice person, she's still not 'right' for me, however I'm not sure what 'right' is, but I know this isn't it.

For the record I've tried to break up with her 20+ times(not recently), she's always managed to pull me back. I know what needs to done, I just need to build the courage and resolve to do it.