It was worth it, we got laaiiiid.

As much as I would love to get a dog, I can't. There's nothing technically stopping me obviously, but I'm not going to get one on the basis of a temporary accessory, and then afterwards when I go back to work he's stuck in an apartment all day long every day by himself. Dogs are awesome and it's a good idea, but not a feasible one for me at least.

You could take a dog and walk all the way out of the city no problem, or go visit your children who don’t live with you, or go get your hands on items that Glovo don’t deliver, etc.

We are talking about maybe a couple of months. We are one week into a proposed two week thing and the number of new cases daily is still rising dramatically whilst they continually tighten the rules. So this is definitely getting extended.

And if it bothers you that it is a dog get a pig, you eat them.


Peace,

kowalski .

The UK ain't on lock-down. Boris the bullshitter and his associates are digging their heels. Schools are officially out, but not a fully declared, official, nationwide lock-down like most of the rest of Europe.

Where I am, it seems a bit of a mess because three quarters of the entire island of Ireland is on lock-down, but not Northern Ireland. It just sounds so fucking silly when the north and south are on the same land mass.

I had an anxiety attack last night after watching a short but intense 4 minute video of some Welsh girl doing voice-over on various dramatised projected clips of where this is all going. There were maybe 10 to 12 "steps" being laid out by her, from soon-to-be food shortages and civil disobedience, progressively leading all the way up to full-on totalitarian control and enslavement. Once she gets to step 3 or 4 her voice starts breaking and pretty soon she's doing her voice-over through tears and utter terror in her voice.

I should know better than to allow something like this affect me too much, and I'm well aware that the way the video is presented coupled with the increasing dread in her voice, leads the viewer down that path of fear. This is exactly what happened to me, and I couldn't help it.

My personal perspective was being guided by the fact that I've spent 6 months keenly interested in and engrossed in totalitarianism and the associated atrocities of the 20th century, and this was the primary contributory factor in the intensity of the fear I felt last night. If I hadn't studied that stuff, there wouldn't have been so many terrifying thoughts and possibilities running through my mind.

I'm back to earth again today though and although there could still be a major cause for concern, and shit we aren't being told, I'm not going to allow fear to overcome me again. I'll just fucking roll with it, throwing punches, whatever happens.

One thing I'm doing though, for my peace, is minimising social media and similar outlets that are currently filled with nothing but poisonous mind-fuckery.

Can't argue with the learning part, thats kinda overall positive. Sorry to hear about your lack of plants, I love a good plant. Also sounds like you don't know anyone close to dying from it, thats good.

There's an insane amount of mis-informtion out there, so you're doing well by lowering social media, I saw a post saying france went to full on riots (bullshit) and started getting my bow and arrows more easily accessible.

I'm spending most of this downtime between studying an online course and reading. Loving it actually.

I have my own predictions on what can happen, and it includes riots etc. They're a very real possibility if supply chains get cut or something like that.

But in the meantime I'm trying only to access what information I need.

So... Any updates K (discounting your more recent threads) ?

During the whole thing I moved to Sevilla. I've been here about 18 months now. The first year was a bit messy. I had a debt to pay off, I moved 4 times in a year and I had to rinse a bunch of cash to do nothing in London for a few weeks to get a new passport, which left me a little shaken ... however returning to Andalucia felt amazing and really brought back to the surface how much better being here is for me.

There's a little space now between me and the whole section of my life in Cordoba and the process of leaving there and coming eventually to Sevilla, making it possible for me to look back at it and understand it in some vaguely mythical way.

The title of this thread was not chosen to refer to the idea that I had returned to my old career and was now working again in that sense but more to the idea that I felt I had a lot of work to do with myself. We always have work to do, but that was a specific thing I needed to do. To remove myself out of that place and then painstakingly repair the negative I had let that time do to me ... with the caveat that living in Cordoba was mostly awesome and I had a wildly fun time and now some fantastic memories. I think very fondly of that city, it's truly a special place. It's feels almost unreal living there, when you are there and you think about or talk to any other people living in any other places you genuinely feel bad for them.


And now? I find myself now in a very similar position to the one I was in when I left the UK specifically in terms of ambitions and my ability to realise them. It took a long time to learn the language and the culture and be comfortable and have a stable situation what with everything life throws up and how easy it is to get caught in the day to day. I know I could have already achieved certain things (or discovered that I can't do them) if I'd stayed in the UK with friends, family, connections, etc. That bothers me a little but just enough to make me want to be more productive and driven right now with so much possiblity ahead.


Peace,

kowalski

Good to hear what's happening with you.

I have to ask, what's the long game? Or is that even a thought in your mind at all?

What I mean is, are you happy to just roll with it and enjoy life, career, and experiences, and you'll work it all out as you go along?

For context as to why I'm asking, I barely understood how a mortgage worked until this year, and now I'm planning to get one sometime in 2024. The main reason is, it's very unlikely I'll be emigrating anywhere, and so there's no point dishing out serious wads of money each month for the rest of my life when that money could be invested in the gaff with the aim of paying it off over 15 years MAX. That way I'll own the joint by age 55 and then most income after that is all mine, and even if I found myself with no job, I'd still have a roof over me, from under which nobody could kick me out.

Whatever we do decide long-term tho, we'll be fine, because mushrooms 🍄🍄