so was out last night at a club and the plan was to hit loads of sets etc etc get out of my comfort zone etc etc basically wat i tell myself every time i go out but somethin that 90% of the time i never manage to do.. now the night started off pretty good i got there and was met with a lot of girl m8s i ended up sittin with about 5/6 of them and they were seated at a bar that only sold cocktails, this meant that there was an abundance of girls around and i had great value about myself and im pretty sure i cud of opened lots of sets and got great results, but again i questioned myself.. why? im having fun here with my girl m8s. i look pretty cool here maybe i shud just let the girls come to me. i want to have a few more drinks then i'll approach.. the excuses began and didnt really stop. i talked to a few girls on the way to the bar but nothing special. everytime i was think of goin to talk to a group of girls i cudnt think of wat to say, my usual , "u guys look fun are u friendly?" opener shud work in any situation but i kept tellin myself it wont, you'll look stupid, its so LOUD in here i wont be able to get a conversation going anyway...

then i noticed my brother he is a natural, he's a good looking guy, well dressed, athletic etc, his game knowldege is no were near mine but yet he literally just stood near the bar talking to a few of my m8s and these hot girls wud just approach him! thinking about it ive never seen him do a real cold approach.. he just stands there the girl looks at him, he makes eye contact and she comes to him 9/10 times, the other 1/10 he just walks up and says hello and he is pullin them 5 secs later..


so i realised that doing all these cold approaches in a club, they're very hard to really utilise, its very hard to talk and so using body language alone to attract is ur best bet.. plus it doesnt make u as fearful.. perhaps i am just making up excuses.. but its frustrating to watch my bro stand there do barely anything and get a hot girl, whilst i stand there maybe do a few approaches and am not getting the same results.. perhaps its just a way of not havin to do the approach..i never thot my AA was a problem ive opened 7 sets before, but when its very loud or wen im on my own i really do have a bad case of AA.

so anyway i may try this new tactic out..just stand and give eye contact, expect the girl to approach u as ur the prize.. all i need to do is give the correct body language. my brother did it so why cant i.

i really have had a realy knockdown in confidence lately and i dont no why..i think maybe a detox from using game may help me as im most likely thinking too much, just going more natural seems the cure like my brother..

Hey man,

I can relate to a lot of what you say in your post. I used to go out with the intention of approaching loads of sets, and like you've described, I used to talk myself out of doing it. Now I get 'warmed up' by approaching sets (mixed/ugly ones, whatever) on the way into town or the club I'm heading to. I find that this eases AA greatly and gets your 'sharpness' going. Approach mixed sets - I find interacting with these is much smoother and a lot of the time the blokes walk away leaving the HB's.

It's not easy opening sets in loud environments as it's not conducive to having clear conversation. But I would say that you still have to approach, just keep the openers short e.g. "Hi, how's you night going?" or seeing as your in a cocktail bar ask "Hi, what's the best cocktail here?".

Again, I can relate to your frustration by watching someone else gets success when they are not putting in half the 'effort' that you are. I would compare myself with other people all the time (and still do now and again in my negative moods) and ask "why am I not getting what they are getting?". But comparing yourself with other people is never a helpful thing to do. You're on your own journey and you have to find your own answers your own way (sounds a bit fucking corny I know). I doubt that imitating your brother's 'technique' is the answer.

Like I've said, I can relate to a lot of what you say hence my longish post. I too have had a bit of a knock back with my confidence lately after a bad reaction from a set, leading me to doubt myself and ask a lot of questions. I'd suggest reading Jaz's post on here called "Honesty+Not giving a fuck..." if you haven't already done so. The message in it is crucial and I think has the underlying solution to the women difficulties that some of us have.

Cheers.

i kind of know the weird, albeit frustrating feeling....

what i find ffrustrating is, that you're using a strategy and giving urself a framework to work from, this is good i beleive. Structure and a bit of Discipline will help cshake off your AA, definately bring you out of your comfort zone!

However, i appreciate how frustrating it is, when you're doing your thing, but then another guy, just does absolutely nothing and seems to be successful 90% of the time....

frustrating, but dont let it get you down.

I find its a numbers game, you have to stick it out and bear the odd frustrating night or ten, before your plans come to fruition!

Then theres the payoff!

Best of Luck my Friend

Picard.