Hey man,

I can relate to a lot of what you say in your post. I used to go out with the intention of approaching loads of sets, and like you've described, I used to talk myself out of doing it. Now I get 'warmed up' by approaching sets (mixed/ugly ones, whatever) on the way into town or the club I'm heading to. I find that this eases AA greatly and gets your 'sharpness' going. Approach mixed sets - I find interacting with these is much smoother and a lot of the time the blokes walk away leaving the HB's.

It's not easy opening sets in loud environments as it's not conducive to having clear conversation. But I would say that you still have to approach, just keep the openers short e.g. "Hi, how's you night going?" or seeing as your in a cocktail bar ask "Hi, what's the best cocktail here?".

Again, I can relate to your frustration by watching someone else gets success when they are not putting in half the 'effort' that you are. I would compare myself with other people all the time (and still do now and again in my negative moods) and ask "why am I not getting what they are getting?". But comparing yourself with other people is never a helpful thing to do. You're on your own journey and you have to find your own answers your own way (sounds a bit fucking corny I know). I doubt that imitating your brother's 'technique' is the answer.

Like I've said, I can relate to a lot of what you say hence my longish post. I too have had a bit of a knock back with my confidence lately after a bad reaction from a set, leading me to doubt myself and ask a lot of questions. I'd suggest reading Jaz's post on here called "Honesty+Not giving a fuck..." if you haven't already done so. The message in it is crucial and I think has the underlying solution to the women difficulties that some of us have.

Cheers.