I'd like to stick my oar in at this point and say a couple of things.

Firstly, well done on losing those canned openers CO! It was such a revelation when it happened to me - opening sets becomes less of a big deal and you'll find yourself doing it more often and with less of a fuss. You'll also find your state, rather than spiking, begins to gradually increase. Remember the hot glowing coal Tyler was always on about? That's what you'll get, as opposed to opinion openers which cause spikes of state and the searing brush...thing. You know what I mean!

Also, the RAS. The RAS is, as the name suggests, an asset of the reticular formation which is involved, as CO has correctly said, with the sleep-wake cycle, anaesthesia and levels of conciousness. It is also thought to involve the processing of visual information in order to decide which requires the most attention, ie which is most likely to kill you or allow you to survive and reproduce. It receives input from a huge variety of sources within the brain, and has projections to many areas of the brain, including (ultimately) the cerebellum, an area responsible for coordinating movement. Ever wondered why you "jump" when startled? Furthermore, when you're pumped on adrenaline, the system is enhanced and you react to such stimuli quicker due to the presence of adrenergic and noradrenergic neurons in the RAS.

It would seem, therefore, that Tyler (by accident or otherwise) is pretty much bang on the money. That man is a fountain of knowledge!

This forum has got to be the most intellectual pick up forum out there!

Oh and well done Covey baby! But shouldn't your name be changing to Overt now?

Blanca - is it me getting RAS wrong then, and misunderstanding Tyler's concept of it? Since listening to it I've been thinking how in work, for example, my RAS is often zoned in on my monitor and not on what's going on around me, until someone says my name a few times and eventually catch my attention, at which point my 'RAS' readjusts so I take notice of them... But as K says elsewhere, this is also to do with the brain's executive network 'turning the volume down' on things (senses) you don't need. But from what you and the Wiki article are saying, its more to do with levels of alertness, and to do with the mind prompting the physical body to respond in high intensity situations.

I've probably got this wrong!

Tom - It is pretty intellectual stuff - boss huh!

RE: The name. I've been thinking of changing it for a little while. OvertOperation has a ring to it I think... But I'd also have to have the name of this thread changed - if Admin let us know if that's possible, then lets do it!

Tell me about it, I have low latent inhibition, it is both a blessing and a curse at times.

Last night... Well it sort of felt frustrating, but maybe I'm just expecting way too much too soon.

I opened 4 sets in total:

1. 4 girls sat on the chairs in Heebie Jeebies. I only opened them for a warm up, asking them about the band who were playing. Cool.

2. 2 girls at the bar in Bar CaVa. Talking to them about Tequila. I should have stuck in this set, came out too quickly.

3. 2 girls outside while we were having a smoke. That was a really great conversation. We just asked them where is fun to go, and led into a conversation from there (great winging work from Relentless here!).

4. Another 2 set in Hannah's bar. I used a canned opener - asking them about guys wearing ugg boots. But I kicked out of the opener as quickly as I could, and led into normal conversation. I stuck in set and isolated with a girl, HB5, but didn't close. Because she was HB5. She was cool though. A vet. I asked her what her favorite animal to practice on was. She said 'A dog'. I thought she said 'A log'. We carried on talking for 30 seconds, she was describing operating on a dog, I thought she was talking about operating on a log... It was funny, we laughed, we did fists, I critiqued her fist technique (oo er, etc), we laughed more, I went kino a little. She was cool.

Only now do I wish I'd done a 'bark' joke in the midst of our dog/log confusion. That'd have worked on so many levels.

So last night, on the face of it, was a good night. But, I was angry and frustrated with myself. This is because, three times, I bottled out of opening sets. This is simply unacceptable.

The first bottled set was in Heebies. A two set. I wanted to open them with a non-opinion opener, and wanted to just go up and tell them I thought they were cool. So, I turned, walked towards them... and then as I approached they locked into a conversation together, and I couldn't see an opening. I walked right past. Annoying.

The second bottled set was in Revolution. Relentless and I were playing a few improv games to get our brains ticking over and our larynxes lubricated, when I spied a three set sat at a table around from us. This set was just dying to be opened. The music in Revs was fairly low key, the bar was cool and laid back, it would have opened up nicely. But at no point did I break off and go for it.

And the third was in Hannah's bar. There was a 2 set, including a blonde girl, HB9. She was gorgeous. They were looking over at Relentless and I, making it pretty obvious. That was my que to jump in.

If she was an HB6, I'd have swooped in mercilessly like a rabid eagle clawing at a helpless little vole.

But she wasn't a helpless little vole. She was an HB9. And I wasn't a rabid eagle. I was a useless pigeon. So I just stood there.

So as much as I did open a few sets, I don't feel that progress was made. More, the sets that I bottled angered me more than the sets that I opened pleased me. I'm top class at opening low value sets. But I get intimidated when opening high value sets, to the point that I can't do it.

And that's so annoying.

........But on the upside, right where we stopped for a cigarette, we noticed someone had mysteriously scrawled the letters "CO" on the wall, as if they knew I was coming!

Random huh...

While the forum has been down, Simply David, Darood and Sapmi were kind enough to come and live in my house for a night!

Personally I was up for a quiet game of Monopoly and an early night, but they seemed keen to go out, so I buckled and we headed into Liverpool.

I've got to say it was tremendous fun! If nothing else, I thoroughly enjoyed Friday night. Man Of The Match goes to Roody, who frankly blew the girls of Liverpool away with a performance second to none! There can't have been a set in Liverpool which he didn't open on Friday. Sap was top class as well - and I'm stealing his opener of 'Hello, how are you' (yes, it really is that easy to open. I know because I saw him do it!) next time I go out. And Dave gave a master class in simply being sociable, to the point that he befriended a top class Moroccan guy who joined us for the rest of the night.

Guys, you're all absolutely top class, and you're welcome to stay at mine any time you're around (and don't mind sleeping in a shit tip!).

I want to just go over three sets that stood out in my mind from the night, and then one or two wee lil observations about my approach generally.

Set one: In the outside courtyard of Heebie Jeebies. Dave spotted a two set over to one side, and said it was my set to open (this is a point I want to return too - I shouldn't need telling to open sets. More in a second). He suggested I ask them what they're talking about. So, that was my opener. I walked up to them and said 'Guys, what are you talking about?'. They looked at me perplexed, so I continued: 'Its just I've noticed that out of everyone here, you guys are clearly having the best conversation. I can't not be part of it'.

This kicked on into a good set. The girls said they were Greek, and one of them was doing a PhD, all of which gave ample room for conversation. Sap came and winged one of the girls away, while I isolated with another. I began to escalate and push kino upwards, but she wasn't having any of it. Her arms remained folded, and she kept her body closed to me. I didn't push any further, and ejected a short while after. But the biggest thing about this for me was just the opening. Regular readers will know I'm trying to scoot away from canned opinion openers. They're inauthentic, they funnel you into a narrow conversation when you fail to transition quickly enough, and I simply don't like doing them. With Dave's help, I used an opener which was... well, open!

A New CovertOperation Opening Theory

There are closed openers and open openers. The former will cause you problems, because it draws you into a narrow conversation. Use the opener a few times, and you will get all possible responses within a few sets. Your reactions will then be similar every time you use the opener, making it a routine. You're no longer interacting with a girl. You're just reading off a script.

An example of a closed opener (one I've been very loyal too previously), and the responses you'll get 95% of the time:

You: Girls, a quick question. Do you prefer custard hot or cold?

Girls: [Will say either] hot / cold / I don't like custard

Its a closed opener. There is a high probability you'll get one of a finite number of responses. The few times when a girl surprises you with an unusual answer, you'll be so surprised at not having a stock answer to respond with that you'll not know what the fuck to say.

Open openers are the way to go. These can be like the one Dave suggested - 'What are you guys talking about?'. If they ask why, which I assume they will, just tell them 'Well you're obviously having fun, I gotta see what it's all about'. Its simple, its easy, and thanks to being an open opener, there are any number of responses.

You: Guys! What the bloody hell are you talking about?

Girls: We're talking about travelling / work / this wacky YouTube video of a cat playing the keyboard / Swansea / etc.

From there, just go with it. This is a major priority for me now - to work open openers into my game everywhere I turn. I've made a good start. Time now to really hammer that one home.

Set two: We headed to the basement for some dance floor action. Heebs is pretty cool, they play motown stuff downstairs, and if you get there early enough you don't even get packed into the dance floor so tightly that you can't move! When we got there it wasn't too busy at all. A two set were dancing away to one side. We ignored them to begin with and just started having a dance ourselves. We were there on our terms, having fun amongst ourselves. Surely this is the single biggest 'rule' of dance floor game: fun comes first. Girls second, and the most sure fire way to get blown out on a dance floor is to make it obvious that you're only there for girls.

After a few minutes of us dancing away, one of the two girls - the taller blonde one - stopped dancing and caught my eye. We held each others stare for a few seconds. I turned, and carried on dancing, pretending it hadn't happened.

As I did, i quietly scolded myself. What - the - FUCK?!? She could have held up one of those electronic signs you can put in the back of your car, full of little red LEDs, which is supposed to scroll words like 'Keep Your Distance' or 'Baby On Board' or something; reprogrammed it to read 'I Would Like You To Come And Dance With Me Please. Yes You. Right There, In The Leather Jacket With The Brown Hair', held it up in front of me, sang the chorus to the hit Whitney Houston song I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and it wouldn't actually have been any more obvious that she wanted me to go and dance with her.

But I'd bottled it. No way around it. I'd bottled it. And I knew I'd bottled it. I kicked myself, the words of one of my own field reports flashing through my head: "These are the open goals of pick up".

A minute later, and it happened again. She locked eyes with me, and I held her gaze once more. This time, I stung myself into action, dancing right over to her, grabbing her hand, and spinning her around. We danced for a few minutes, and it was pretty fun. I tried to make the dancing fun - I hate 'serious dancing'. Its only good when you're good at it, and I'm not good at dancing. I'm good at dancing like a pillock, which isn't a bad thing. But I'm not good at dancing seriously. So I tried to perform various pillocky dance moves with her, which went fairly well.

After a short while, she leant over my shoulder, and asked me my name. So I told her. Then she asked me my age. So I told her. Then she asked me how old I thought she was. I said 18 (she clearly wasn't - it turned out she was 30 - but I'd never seriously try and guess a girls age. You're entering a potential nuclear minefield which isn't worth going into). The conversation bored me though. We were in the middle of a dance floor, and she wanted to play guessing games. Fuck that.

I seem to remember her friend pulled her away at one point, and we didn't stick around. Dave did spot that she'd gone alone to take a seat to one side of the dance floor - an obvious invitation for me to reopen - but I didn't want to push. I didn't really fancy her, and the conversation hadn't exactly made me eager to go back for more.

I'm such a conversation fascist.

Another CovertOperation Theory

I need to get this 'eye contact' thing handled. You don't always get second chances, so make the first ones count. Girls give you eye contact all the time when you're out. 2 or 3 times a night, I'll catch some girl looking at me for longer than is necessary (if there is such a thing). Until now, I've always bottled it. Looked away, pretended it hasn't happened, failed to act.

So, I've come up with a protocol to follow, the underpinning emphasis of which focusses on acknowledgement followed by action. Very simply, when a girl looks at you for any amount of time, a small window of opportunity opens. When it does, you need to leap through it. The first thing I propose doing in the future is acknowledging the eye contact, in a fun way. So, this involves waving at the girl, grinning and giving her a thumbs up, smiling - fucking anything. But do something which says 'I know you're looking at me, and now you know I know you're looking at me'.

And then - take action. Once you've got your smile / wave / thumbs up / theatrics out the way, the very next thing you do should be to go and talk to her. That's the easy bit, and you don't even need an opener. She's invited you over, pretty much. So go and say hello. This is what I want to bear in mind next time I'm out: Acknowledgement, and Action. Fuck, if anything it beats the protocol I use now of OhFuckPretendThatDidntHappen.

Set three: This set was opened by Sap, who opened a two set in the court yard of Heebies. I winged in, and pulled away with one of the girls who I began to game myself. We had a great conversation, all about cockney accents (Sap being a cockney wide boy and all ) and we began to compare our own cockney accents. I was about to perform a feat of pick up mastery, taking her around the court yard to speak to other groups in our fake cockney accents and see who could be the most convincing (this would have been spectacular - leading, dominant, confident, alpha, showing her I wasn't afraid to go and speak to anyone in the whole place) when her friend turned to her and said 'Drinks!', pointing up at one of the bars. They turned and hastened up the steps to the upstairs bar, beckoning Sap and I to follow. We did, although when we got upstairs we left them to go to the bar whilst we stayed back. That was the end of the interaction.

I've thought back over this one a little - and I'd be interested for Sap's thoughts on where we lost it - but I reckon they were taking us to the bar in the hope we'd buy them some drinks. Also, I think we missed a trick by following them so intently. When they said 'We're going to get drinks, come on', we both followed obediently. Perhaps here we should have said 'No problem, see you when you get back, bring me a beer' - and then made sure we opened some other sets before they returned. By following them upstairs, I think we might have scuppered any attraction... Although again, I'd be interested to hear Sap's thoughts.

So, that was Friday. One final thought before I leave, and coming back to something I mentioned earlier. For the Greek set I opened, Dave told me 'its your set'. The last few times I've been out, I've just not opened enough. I've needed to be told, or I've needed to have a conversation with my wing which goes 'Ok, so is it my set?'.

Dave has said that Friday was fun because we just had fun, and girls were a part of that fun but not the sole reason for that fun. Ergo, don't just go out to meet girls. They should be a part of the night, but not the purpose of the night. And he's absolutely correct there. However, at times lately, when out, I've started to forget to include girls in the night. Its difficult for me to articulate this. But I no longer open at the rate that I used too 2 or 3 months ago. The other night, there should have been more times when I just looked around for a set, turned, and opened. That wouldn't have violated the 'fun' aspect of the night in anyway (what is it they say - when you analyse fun you're no longer having fun? Hmm...). This is something else to work with over the coming weeks. Go out, and have fun. But remember, open as well. You must open.

Action Points

1. Openers - use open openers more, and also, learn to simply introduce myself to girls.
2. Eye contact - acknowledge, and act. The first of these will prevent me from pretending it didn't happen. The second will mean something comes of these opportunities.
3. Make things happen - I can feel I'm regressing slightly into my pre-PickUp mindset of 'wait for the opportunities to present themselves'. Sometimes when you go out, these opportunities do present themselves. Girls will open you occasionally, you'll just happen to get talking to someone, you'll get lucky. But more often than not, you need to make your own luck. Each of us has the power to make things happen. Its actually very simple - you just fucking do it. I need to drill this into myself next time we go out. Have fun, but bear in mind that the power to make things happen lies only with me.

Over analysis aside (I over analyse everything... Which isn't a particularly good thing!), I had a top time the other night! I felt like I learned a few important bits and pieces, and simply spent time with some top fellers!

I'll be in Manchester next weekend (I would have come over tonight, but having wasted most of my day in the pub watching football and the truly hopeless Liverpool - who in themselves were more than enough of a reason to drink heavily - I'm in no fit state to drive right now!), and I can't wait to see y'all!

In the meantime, I'll let Keyboard Cat play me out.

Love you all,
Co

Keyboard cat RULES!! lol..............
With that set, I interpreted it as them wanting us to accompany us to the bar, rather than buy them a drink...I would have just ordered a water anyway.....a way we could have played it was to get them to buy us drinks...give them the cash...that would have locked them into us...so slight misunderstanding...but you live and learn ....
Thanks for your hospitality CO! I enjoyed the Asda pizza

Quality! I've been beating myself up recently because I just simply don't approach enough. This statement resonates through me because this is exactly where I am. Something that I will elaborate in my post later. I need (NEED NEED NEED!) to over come. Procrastination is a plauge of the AFC and I need to destroy it!

It's great that we're at the same place on path Covert! Soz I couldn't get up to Liverpool this weekend mate... literally spent a god damn fortune this month! Haa! Maybe next month mate!

Thanks for having us Co - I had a really good night and - you rock.

Its win win baby, the Manchester guys taught me good. You're all awesome and you know it. x

A few points if I may Sir.... open ended openers are great, but you do need chicks with a certain intelligence/maturity level to have the conversation work. I wouldn't use them on every girl on a night out. You also need a certain low level of noise that Heebie Jeebies definately had - in which case - they're bang on the money. x

Disclaimer - I dont tell people its their set as a habit, its not what I usually do. But to keep the momentum on a night out you need to be talking to people, the set could just have equally been two guys, but the set you opened was awesome, open ended and social. Masterfully done. x



P.s - YouTube - Keyboard Cat: True Internet Story