Something I've learned of late is the importance of learning to build a connection with a girl you're becoming acquainted with.

My game's been coming on nicely in the last few weeks, and I'm now at the stage where if I go out I'm fairly confident I can get at least one number. I thought this would be half the battle won. How wrong I was. Of the 2 girls I've actually bothered to call, both have flaked (one, whom I called not one hour ago, never even picked up) and I know why. So gentlemen, I present another of my notorious theories.

Take "Alice". I met her on Wednesday night whilst out with some friends. I opened with something arbitrary like "did you see the boat race? It was shocking, my gran could drink faster than that". Alice sat, and it was immediately apparent that she wasn't good at making conversation so I launched into Kowalski's tried and tested method of saying anything I fancied and not giving a shit whether she was into it or not. She was attracted, and enthusiastically gave me her number with the promise of meeting me later in the week after 10 minutes or so.

Scroll forward to tonight and I called her to arrange a D2 and she obviously didn't pick up. The reason was simply that I didn't create a connection. I talked and told stories and got her attracted, but at no point did I really delve into either of our personalities. Partially to help the conversation along (and avoid awkward pauses) and partially because I could see that she was into it.

The fact that I didn't create a connection meant that, whilst she was attracted to me, she probably felt that she didn't really know me, and would've been shy about picking up the phone, let alone arranging a date. So how to really create this connection. It's hard to do without asking direct questions which, as a rule of thumb, I try to avoid. Instead, it's about asking open ended, inciteful questions (credit: Juggler, for a lot of these) eg:

- Ohh I love skiing. When I was younger I wanted to be a downhill skiing champion like Hermann Maier. What did you want to be when you were five?

- I can't believe I'm going into the real world next year. It's scary because I'm going to be living so far away too. What are you planning on doing after uni?

- Supposing you won the lottery. What's the first thing you'd do?

- Which sense do you want to lose the least - sight or hearing?

Other than that, telling funny stories or stories that are close to your heart (ie you opening up to her), thus encouraging her to open up to you, is a sure-fire way of creating this connection. You can be almost guaranteed that no other guy that hits on her that night will do this, so you'll stick out in her mind and when the crunch time comes and you're calling her or arranging a date, she's more likely to accept since you're the cool guy who she "clicked" with.

Good post Blanca and a very good point - I think when I started out I too confused opening a girl with making a connection - and this is really important. I said a few days ago in another thread that I always try and take the girl to another bar/club etc after the first drink to give her a false timescale (the change of venue gives her mind the impression she has known you longer than the half hour or whatever she actually has) and when I can manage to do this they are eating of my hands so to speak. If you can't shift location then making an deep empact on an emotional level should cement things for a D2....just something to make you stand out at the end of the night.

I often use the 'Ring routine' and finds this hardly ever fails...it is intimate, invloves lots of hand holding and looking into her eyes and creates a special connection. Sometimes I can escalate the kino straight into a K-close or run the 'Animal Instincts' routine into a K-close. Or if she is eating up the ring routine then follow into some cold-reading or personality tests like 'The Cube'. I know a lot of people prefer to shy away from routines and lines, but I find this works for me and can make you really stand out from every other guy in the bar.

I still don't do enough to conenct with a girl, even now, and it is something that I too need to be more conscious of improving in my Game during sets, so I know what you're talking about Blanca...keep me posted on how you get on buddy.

Great post blanca and interesting stuff from you too shark. However im not sure what the "Ring routine" or the "animal instincts" routine is! Would really appreciate it if you could explain them or throw a link my way so i can have a butch at them.

That aside, i too have this problem. I sometimes think to myself "why is this girl not opening up after ive opened her" and clearly the answer is ive not done enough to open up or build connection with her. Yes it shows balls and confidence approaching a girl but you learn nothing about each other tbh and more is needed if your to get her to be genuinely intruiged about you.

I think I said something similar in another post to you TheRegulator88 so excuse my PUA jargon...I will send you a message now :-)

cheers sharky boi