Over the years, I have played a range of sports. One of my main sports which I did for many years when I was younger allows me --- even now, when I'm older and no longer train twice a week and no longer compete in competitions --- to achieve "flow".

In sports, it's both a physical and metal thing; it's working your muscles, you're psyched with adrenaline, and your mind is both sharp, focused yet also relaxed.

However, with pick up there's less adrenaline but, on occasion, the same feeling of getting to a "sweet spot" of being totally immersed in the joy of the chase, of the game, and of the conclusion(s) (successful game).

The feeling of flow, of here's the deal:
I have achieved pick-up flow very occasionally when I've been sober, but it's been tricky.

For me, a committed lover of alcohol (note that the last time I actually got drunk was way back at the start of 2009, almost two years ago), it's been pick up flow when I've:

• had a number of drinks

• but definitely not remotely drunk

• for the mental focus: often a bit buzzed on caffeine (Coke mixers) and/or an energy drink (Red Bull or V)

• have worked the crowd at one or more venues and picked up a good vibe (from both male and female)

• probably done some cool stuff earlier that week, or earlier that night, or with my mates that afternoon which is so natural to tell people you meet about how damn cool that thing you did was -- so got an awesome contextual genuine story

• you don't need any wings anymore (there were none there to start with, or they've gone home or are elsewhere in club or whatever), wings become irrelevant as the venue is yours, the club is yours, the street is yours, the energy is everywhere. You are flying and connecting everyone into a fucking fanstastic social consciousness.

This post is about sharing the joy that it's a situational level you get to, on that particular day, of feeling the flow in pick-up.

It is the feeling of flying, of speaking to anyone and anything (male or female) and having awesome social vibe -------- no self-consciousness at all --------- and in particular when you hit on the chicks that you want, the ones you have self-selected as "I WANT THAT ONE", you get them. It's so natural. I want. I get. The thinking bit is removed. It's just: I want. I get. Self-consciousness has disappeared. You are operating in flow.

It fucking rocks!

I go so far to say that sometimes when I've been in a LTR (I'm not in one at the mo!), I've lamented the lack of being single with its free licence to go out, pick up, and achieve flow.

Flow rocks! Social energy! The extrovert's dream state!

You will post and say yeah I'm plastered, or on special non-coffee drugs but ain't like that at all mate! Only had a few drinks. But I get this pick up flow quite regularly, and just wanted to post some rambling shite like this to share the feeling with you guys as I know there's others out there with this too who enjoy it as much as me!

It's like Neo with seeing the Matrix.

In your enlightened state and flying, you don't greatly offend anyone (to do so is LAME), yet you balance all the various sometimes opposing factors about mix of direct, situational, charming, etc etc into a perfect megamix of awesome social fun which the women YOU want lap up.

This shit should be bottled up and sold!

Rebus

Nice post.

Sadly I find the alcohol a bit of a necessity too in terms of just melting that very first hurdle of self-confidence/social awareness.

I'm a fairly confident person naturally - at work, with friends etc, but being confident with girls in that sort of situation feels like (even if it isn't) a totally different game.

I'm going out for a big one tonight to an industry christmas party which has the double edge of being a: a nice opportunity to go and dance and socialise and flirt but b: full of people I already know. So flirting-wise, I don't want to piss on my own doorstep so to speak.

But I completely agree with the concept of being "in the flow" - when you're hot, you're hot and you know it and everyone else knows it. It's like a social proof power-up and you strike exactly the right balance of easy charm, cockiness, physical presence and confidence.

I find it has the best chance of occuring after 1 or 2 drinks. It's a shame I find it incredibly tricky not to keep drinking when out with friends.

Guess I'll see what comes of tonight?


Here's to "the flow".

SH

Silverhaez, how did that night go for u?

In my work Christmas party, I solved that issue -- #-closed a hottie who doesn't work on my floor. So the "shit where you eat" is avoided. Personally I was surprised there were so many hot women I hadn't even *seen* before at my company!

Flow (in general, not just in pick-up) is sometimes analysed as being something that one should be able to learn to state-shift / phase-shift into easily, a state that one can anchor (NLP theory). That's the theory, I just try to retrospectively analyse what I do or have done which coincided with getting into that state on the particular day or night. If it was possible to create a repeatable process around acheievment of "flow" (likely personal to you), then you could tap into it when needed!

One thing I find (in sports & PUA & in an area of my job & in a hobby I do) you don't get flow unless it's an area which you are very experienced in. Beginners do not get flow; by definition, the anxious newbie who also has minimal tactic knowledge of the task cannot achieve flow.

Isnt this all common knowledge by now?

I don't know, is it?