I've heard a lot of peeps say that once they started to "be themselves" they started getting laid.

recently I've noticed I keep getting birds after me without doing nything aparently.

But what I've realised is that I'm using techniques but because they seem so normal I don't notice or remember using them.

the reason this would be an advantage is it frees up mental capacity for other things.

the concept of self is an ilusion you are a product of your environment. If the things you do increase replication/survival likelyhood it will become part of who you are.

I disagree. Being yourself, and being "authentic" is important.

You're right though, we are a product of our environment. Or, to be precise- we can sculpt who we ate into anything we like. Your beliefs and values are fully programmable.

So it's important to be true to your beliefs and values.

you can't betray your beliefs/values you might say if you were threatened but then that is still part of your beliefs/values.

e.g. I wouldn't kill an insect just for the hell of it but I would if offered money or it was a pesky fly trying to dirty my food.

I'm not sure what your getting at?

Arent you you all the time?

my point is that a lot of guys think their major break through was just being themselves but in fact it wasn't.

also I don't want a bunch of chodes trying to be themselves hoping it will lead to poon. rther than the phrase be yourself how about do what you want.

"You" are a fluid thing, a changing concept that is different from one moment to the next. You are not the same you from a moment beforehand. You are always being you at any one particular moment. You however may not be being the "usual" you. The usual you can change into something else by merely forcing you to be a different you for a long enough period of time though. Taking on a different form of you.

I think the best way to define the difference between someone who needs to change and someone who does not is in whether you exhibiting healthy behaviour or unhealthy behaviour. I think we can all agree one what is a healthy mindset versus what is a self sabotaging mindset and resultant set of habitual actions.

The ultimate problem in all of this is how to bring about healthy change in a person in as brief a period as possible and in the face of them exhibiting unhealthy behaviour even though they're told not to do it. Many people do not recognise their unhealthy actions and mindset until after they have escaped it, looking back on themselves and thinking "what the fuck".. The quickest way to move someone towards healthy actions is to instil confidence in them, this however is stupid-fucking-hard to do. In order to make someone feel confident they have to feel that their actions will be positive opposed to negative. When they do not recognise their mindset as unhealthy it becomes very difficult to force them into being healthy and it is usually necessary to exhibit healthy behaviours in order to gain success and thus gain confidence, leaning further towards that elusive healthy mindset end of the spectrum.

This is why I include contrived and step by step parts in earlier things with clients despite disagreeing with taking such an approach. Without specific instructions on what to do and say it is generally impossible to get them to stop their unhealthy actions and gain success.

If anyone knows of a way to instil confidence in someone without seeing results from actions that are derived from healthy behaviours that they're not able to exhibit because their false perception of what they do as not being unhealthy clouds their behaviour then do please let me know... Until such a time as such a magic bullet actually occurs I believe some sort of contrivision contrived behaviour is necessary as part of the journey from one end of the spectrum to the other. I kind of view routine and planned methods as a beginner part of the journey people go through in all of this, something that gives people the confidence necessary to find the healthy version of themselves, they discover a new version of themselves inside their new confidence and then use that new confidence to plot their own course as merely them.

Usually.

ye basically u learn all the shit, and then kid urself you wer already like that anyway!

i wernt, at all.... ive journeyed and learned alot of shit, my authenticity got me laid,

but it was uphill.... LMR, Feeling inferior.... playin into womens hands

then gettin to that point, then dissmissing people with BE AUTHENTIC is selfish.

u can only become authentic once you become the type of person people want to be around.

and there isnt anythin wrong with re inventing yourself either, its all self development

like a butterfly.

@RLAjay great post I struggle with effective communication. I think I may be dyslexic but never been tested. (my spellings only good cos of spell check on google chrome)

Exact opposite of what I thought you'd say Phil.

It's like women say "be yourself" and it's dismissed. Then you learn game and it's "be your best self" which basically means change a lot. Then you listen to guys who've been at it a while, and it's "be yourself" again. It becomes high minded and difficult to absorb what they mean other than an inkling they are right somehow.

I tried being myself, it was shit. Hence I'm changing myself, but the changed me will still be fundamentally me, just better I would hope.

PS