Got into a retrospective flow of thinking last night and looked back on countless past experiences where I was a victim of my own self sabotage. So many times I've been in a situation where I'm having clear IOIs from a girl and could easily transition into a close, but just don't.

Looking at the common internal dialogues thast seem to be running through my head these are prob the most common:

(1) "She definitely likes me, sweet I'll defo try and get with her the next time we're out"
(2) "I would do but I'm worried that others might think shes not that fit"
(3) "If I get with her though that means I probably won't be able to get with her friend who's nicer"
(4) "It's not an ideal situation I'll wait til the next time and then go for it."

I always end up kicking myself the next morning thinking "why the fuck didn't I close?!" Its like I do all this self improvement etc to get to the stage where I'm getting loads of IOIs from girls but when it comes to crunchtime when I could actually get what I want I cheat myself out of it! The most recent case was away on holiday with snowboarding society from uni and a few of us were up late drinking in the sitting room and I had my arm around this french girl who'd been giving me IOIs all night and when everyone else went off to bed, I just went to bed as well knowing full well I could have closed then and there - in my head I knew there was a few more days left on holiday so I just thought its fine I'll defo close tommorrow but never got the opportunity again! Since then I've been chasing this girl and might go on a date next week but it all feels a bit in vain when I had the chance right in fucking front of me!
http://www.puaforum.co.uk/images/smilies/rant.gif

Anyone had similar problems and if so any advice? I've been with a reasonable number of girls in my time but a recent drought I think has done summin weird to my logic and its like I'm scared of letting myself go or summin

Which type of regret is worse? Regret that u didn't try and close the bird, or regret that u tries to but it was unsuccessful?

U need to realise that the former is worse. It's a "u will never know" feeling.
U need to realise that the latter only leads to improvements in your game. By analyzing what went wrong when u made your moves, u can refine the approach in the future similar situations. Thus gradually improve. Plus, u may well get the girl.

secondly, stop looking for prefect woman and perfect situation. Doesn't exist. Abundance. If u fancy her, make it happen. Don't over think. By abundance of woman, u ain't looking for perfect woman u instead want one that u wanna bang and therefore u make a move on her.

If the approach doesn't work out then there will be another woman that u like the look of around the next corner.

Remember U ARE THE MAN, woman also like shagging. With that confident approach, make it happen.

Hey ive been through exactly the same situation.... and i still am but im battling through it. Are you getting a kiss close and just not a fuck close?? my problem is esculating it passed kissing for a fclose that night. I think its like everything in life though, once you do it once its much much easier the second, third, forth and so on times. Just get passed that first hurdle dude!

AJay

You just need to get rejected a few times and smile about it, it's the same problem people have with approaching, once you've done it enough times to not think of it as a big deal the outcome isn't scary and getting rejected becomes amusing. Also work on your Kino, this is probably one of the biggest factors towards making things happen and making it feel natural.

In my pre-PUA days I would seldom 'go in for the kiss'. When I actually plucked up the courage, and I got rejected, this would reinforce my choad-like belief and I would feel so stupid, puttin me off from trying again.

Now, the only regret I ever feel is when I don't even try something. Getting blown out is FUN.

Escalation is the key. If you build up to it, there is nothing to back out of. Each level just meets up to the next.

When will people realsie the world around them construct of their own imagination and the feelings and thoughts they feel are down to mostly chance events in their lives.

The only limits we have are the ones placed on ourselves to stop the world thinking we're crazy.

Let's throw off the shackles of safety. Let us leap into the unknown of what exists and discover ourselves aknew.

Let's kill the self you hide behind and be born again into existance of uncertanty and possibilites!!

Who's with me???

Feeling this thread - I seem to have had several of these 'regret' moments in the last few weeks when closing was the most obvious step.

In the words of Ozzie, 'run da fucking train'

I like to view my brain as "that lying cunt who sits atop my shoulders who is trying to fuck up my sex life", therefore I find it best to blank him out and get on with it. If I start listening, he'll only persuade me.

PS

Someone should look into why brains self sabotage. Its crazy that you should get negative thoughts about yourself from your own mind. I get little bursts of random sadness at inappropriate moments and thoughts like 'it'll never work out, nice try tho' 'I dont like her now' stuff like this. All related to entitlement, the key is to 'know' you're the king. The leader doesnt question himself, the leader wins. Kings are too busy being great to have selfdoubt.