Could you not think of a better question to ask??

AJay

this is an easy one, i used to fall foul of this.

make it an in joke with ur friends of how ur always getting blown out, so you joking with them,

then you can talk to women knowing the general consensus is u will fail... this means u have nothin to loose.

just make over the next few weeks jokes to ur mates,

Im always gettin blown out, its like 100 wats to blow snake eyes out.

and tell them a few,

then they have no expectations of you.

you understand they dont. learning to laf at ur own faliurs & tell people about them, allows u to let them go

Wow, I went away for a few hours and look at all these responses! Thanks

So true. I associate them with bad nights on the pull.

I like the Spotlight Effect post! The other night I was really self-concious about an article of clothing and then realised I was wearing exactly the same as a night where I had been really successful and not even thought about it and realised its really is only you who gives a fuck!

Thanks for the kind words! Glad it helped, it was fun doing it!

All they know is I meet up with guys from a forum and go on the pull. In fact it was right after my 5 a Day thread I told one of them, as he wondered where I was going all the time! Went a bit tits up after I told them as I felt a bit weird.

One of them read The Game at the same time as me and we used to use stuff from there for a short while until we both grew out it. I fear they may think I am doing that when I go out. I have contemplated showing them to this site. I never used to as I was a bit embarrassed, but I'm not now. Is awesome here!

Yes Blueprint is great! I have listened to it twice and recommend it to all. Enlightened me in a lot of ways. Whenever something like this happens I try to just do less resistance, right action! Doesn't always work though!

Really liked this! Thanks, again is very true. It all goes tits up when I perceive someone as more alpha than me, be it with women, work or hobbies. I guess I just need to put myself in these situations until I don't care!

Yeah I think I just need to take baby steps, chill out and enjoy my friends company. They are good guys, just my own neurotic behaviour at work here.

27. I still have insecurities to deal with, but I am lot better than I was.

They are good friends. We have been through a lot together. They know every little thing about me and I do of them.

I just think I'm changing and I associate them with a more insecure me so don't like being around them at the moment.

PUA isn't hopeless to me. I am also a self improved clown.

I often take the funny guy role, but to be honest I quite like this role. Luckily girls find humour attractive. I know I've joked my way into the bedroom multiple times.

It does if my personality is covered up by a layer of stinking self awareness and approval seeking mentality, which it is when I'm with people higher up in the pecking order than me....

I don't think it should matter. Obviously you need some re-straint like if you're at a funeral or something, but ultimately I just want to be a charming mo fo all the time and not have designated mates and nights I use to pull.

I really like this and am going to do it! We all have a very self depricating sense of humour anyway so will be funny.

Think I have just been too hung up on wanting to prove I am good with women now....

I make jokes constantly but always ALWAYS to amuse myself. People like them and I probably would stop joking around if a load of people where annoyed by it in a situation but I generally bring surrounding people in on the jokes and theyre almost always jokes about myself and things I've done. Gets you integrated socially no doubt. People like people who can laugh at themselves and invite others to do so. It shows comfort and confidence. Remember its to please and amuse yourself first, never bcos ur seeking approval. Seeking approval is lame.

EDIT(If you liked this comment, please click 'Thanks' LOL)

as do me and my friends, so essentially your estimations are so low that your confidence is not governed by expectation,

infact failing will become amusing to u

hope it helps mate

I am kind of having the same thing, but the other way round....
So the friends i have always had would always go out on the pull... I was in long term relationships....
Since "getting in to PU" i have found that I am growing every day, and leaving the old friends behind.. Simply because, their opinion of myself has already been formed.
Now I am going out, pulling on the street, getting more pulls in clubs than my friends together... So now some of them perceive myself different, however some do not like the change...

I used to get nervous at work if my boss was around, just push through it like with your approaches..

All i can say from meeting you mate, you are a decent bloke with a lot going for you, just keep up what you are doing!

Another thought I had on this was that you should bear in mind that being so focused on pickup is something that should be a transient stage of your life. Being blokes we have a tendency to be obsessed with learning and mastering something to the exclusion of other things and theres no real harm in that so long as you re balance your life at some point. So you may find you gravitate back to certain friends later on once you have integrated pickup into a more balanced approach to life in general.

I dont like the whole 'pecking order' thing that has been mentioned a few times on this thread. There is no pecking order, you are only behind in any pecking order while you think you are. I think my signature demonstrates my point!

I have the same problem as you, OP.

I didn't realise it really till this weekend but I'm only really any good at this when with a few select friends (the ones who get it).

Most of my friends no nothing of me trying this whole PUA thing but they have noticed I've been meeting a load more women and having been commenting and joking about it. Of course, I joke with them about it but feel the added pressure when around them and this is where most of my approach anxiety comes from, I think.

All the replies have been extremely useful.