Wow, I went away for a few hours and look at all these responses! Thanks
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1: Anchoring, you've anchored your old behaviour to you friends so when you are with them all the thought and feelings come back.
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So true. I associate them with bad nights on the pull.
I like the Spotlight Effect post! The other night I was really self-concious about an article of clothing and then realised I was wearing exactly the same as a night where I had been really successful and not even thought about it and realised its really is only you who gives a fuck!
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To what extent do your friends know about the PUA side of your life? I read all your 5 a day stuff by the way and I was impressed! I'm sure your friends would be too. If they haven't already seen it it might be an idea to let them, if they knew about all your successes AND rejections you wouldn't feel that same pressure to perform in front of them.
On a side note. After I read your 5 a day stuff it inspired me to take similar action and approach like crazy, it got me laid! So er......thanks!
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Thanks for the kind words! Glad it helped, it was fun doing it!
All they know is I meet up with guys from a forum and go on the pull. In fact it was right after my 5 a Day thread I told one of them, as he wondered where I was going all the time! Went a bit tits up after I told them as I felt a bit weird.
One of them read The Game at the same time as me and we used to use stuff from there for a short while until we both grew out it. I fear they may think I am doing that when I go out. I have contemplated showing them to this site. I never used to as I was a bit embarrassed, but I'm not now. Is awesome here!
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You are stifled and failing to be your "best self" in a consistent manner which stems from assuming that you are in the presence of people with more value than yourself.
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Yes Blueprint is great! I have listened to it twice and recommend it to all. Enlightened me in a lot of ways. Whenever something like this happens I try to just do less resistance, right action! Doesn't always work though!
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The pecking order has already been established
Your friends perceive you however they always have perceived you
You now perceive yourself different
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Really liked this! Thanks, again is very true. It all goes tits up when I perceive someone as more alpha than me, be it with women, work or hobbies. I guess I just need to put myself in these situations until I don't care!
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TO change their perception of you and your perception of yourself around them it would take small gradual change.
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Yeah I think I just need to take baby steps, chill out and enjoy my friends company. They are good guys, just my own neurotic behaviour at work here.
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the second quote, how old are you and how secure in yourself are you? also how much do you trust these 'friends'? are they true friends you can be yourself around
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27. I still have insecurities to deal with, but I am lot better than I was.
They are good friends. We have been through a lot together. They know every little thing about me and I do of them.
I just think I'm changing and I associate them with a more insecure me so don't like being around them at the moment.
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the truth is, if you are a clown originally, but transform into a clown who is 'self-improving' you are most likely still going to be a clown. the whole self improvement route via pua has been completely hopeless for me.
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PUA isn't hopeless to me. I am also a self improved clown.
I often take the funny guy role, but to be honest I quite like this role. Luckily girls find humour attractive. I know I've joked my way into the bedroom multiple times.
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It doesnt mean your not you and unauthentic!
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It does if my personality is covered up by a layer of stinking self awareness and approval seeking mentality, which it is when I'm with people higher up in the pecking order than me....
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I just want to approach women and I know I can't do it in that group.
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I don't think it should matter. Obviously you need some re-straint like if you're at a funeral or something, but ultimately I just want to be a charming mo fo all the time and not have designated mates and nights I use to pull.