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I maintain a brutal honesty policy. I will not lie nor colour the truth rosey regarding what I think of someone. If they don't like this then tough. I feel that showing this honesty promotes a far closer relationship than one where people tell each other they wouldn't change a thing about them when the reality is that they would.

This kind of honesty adds far more trust in the long run, when you tell someone not to worry they genuinely have no reason to worry at all because you've never told them anything that they could possibly feel wasn't entirely true.

Shit tests in my opinion do you a favour. If you're honest and "fail" these tests then that person does you a favour by getting out of your life because they're not compatible with you. Passing them is a load of bollocks, consider someone else shit testing you as a chance for you to test them. I wouldn't want to be with anyone I have to lie to in order to get.

Craigus. This attitude tells me you feel almost under the spotlight to pass a girl's standards. Live by your own standards.

Fair comments - I agree that being honest is always the best thing to do.

But just to clear things up about my examples above:
I was being honest about this girl too - I genuinly wouldn't change anything about her, neither in terms of her personality, nor her looks. I am very much into the girl, I trust her implicitly, and we do have a very honest relationship. As mentioned in the text to her, that probably sounds like a cop-out but its not. Obviuosly no one is perfect, and I'm not saying that she's perfect. But neither am i going to start telling a girl with self esteem issues about insignificant imperfection for the sake of being 100% honest.

With regards to the the small lie about pursuing the other girls, neither of these have gone any further than texting. And we do have an open relationship - she says that she is not ready for a committed relationship yet, because of trust issues (all covered in another thread). I don't see the point of risking hurting her by telling her that yes, I'm keeping my options open.
That said, I wouldn't fuck this girl around, no way. I plan to make things clear about me and her before I ever get to the position of starting another sexual relationship with another girl.

Much love,

Craigus

A bit of melodrama is being created by your rock chick. Some of that's a fun game between you two, but there's limits in the medium term to how much you may want to play along. RLAJay on the money about honesty, etc. Also having banged the bird a number of times, you would think she might reduce the melodrama. But you both seem to be enjoying drama for now anyway.

A bird texted me she was at fashion show, blah blah, intimidating with all these tall models. I had replied by picking up on only the insecurity / shit test footnote: I said that she was gorgeous and smart at the height she is, and I would rather hang with her than unhealthy tall models with vacuous mindset.

Over the years, birds have shit tested me about whether I lie their new clothes, about their figure,about other lovers, other girlfriends, about whether I see them or my mates, etc.


Now some generic points about shit tests in general:

I like birds to be fun, not hassle. Fun includes witty and smart, but not full of "needing to be reassured" style tests. In scenario of a melodramatic bird doing a ton of shit tests, it would be easy to grow weary of it. It's not relaxing to have that prolonged. Sooner or later you trust each other and just vibe OK together (or don't, stop seeing each other, and get different lovers).

I write this in a lazy mood.

A fair conclusion to make. Not sure whether that is true or not tbh - I do feel that I am very much my own man, and that I have my own mind - none of that was a conscious attempt to jump through any hoops that she set up for me, just my way of responding to some tricky situations that do genuinely arise in early relationships like this one.

How would you have responded to those two situations, Nova?

Much love,

Craigus

Massive fail in my book
FAILED


you just showed her that you are well and truly wound into her web and she has you right where she wants you-- you have also just been very non alpha and asked her to make decisions when you should be making them

Id say:

Her: what would you change about me
Me: heck, are you falling in love with me or somthing... probably your attitude unfortunatly you are stuck with that face
Her: what do ya mean?
Me: Shush and go clean somthing

id then throw a little bit of pull her way later on or next time we hook up
-- result is she is confused about wether i am into her or can just do one at any time

i cant answer this one i have not resolved this issue in my head yet about honestly with girls.

Her: have you met anyone else while weve seen each other
Me: Yes ive had sex with 5 different girls in the last 2 months while weve been fucking, ive also got a POF profile looking for a 3some/4 some
Her: WTF....sicko

if you didnt give a shit like you want to portray then why even mention any of it. surely thats a fail also


What do you want with this chick? because my instincts are telling me you are really into her.

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Refl3x, that's really not my style at all, and I don't think that would help at all with this girl.

I did go to her's that Thursday night, and we did get freaky, so in that sense, I PASSED.

You are right, I am really into her, but what's that got to do with anything? (I realise that the obvious answer to that is EVERYTHING! But please be specific)

Much love

Craigus

i dont beleive in shit tests...

i think some girls wanna hear the shit most lads feeds.

i think there are 50 % or more AFC's doin better than most people on here.

people have been gettin laid long before THE GAME! and i think over anylising it is part of the reason alot of guys are gettin stuck..

if all guys lost fear of approach, but knew NO game strategy.... he would do better through trail & error...

than all the shit u hear in books, it just fucks with ur mind

ITS FOO FOO... all the MASTER pua;s are still shaggin ugly birds up untill they get rich, then women wanna fuck them, and its not coz money makes women attracted to u, its just some hot women are money whores & like champagne & nice things.

Try this: next time u go out, forget what u know

act urself, say what comes naturally, if she does somethin dont go analytical HOW DO I PASS THIS STAGE

just have fun.... dont think about ANYTHIN

if u get fucked off, it wernt a shit test, she just wernt interested, move on