My thinking is this based on you being really into her- my rules change massively:

So she has commitment/ trust issues -- deep psychological issues
firstly my instincts tell me you are going to be going on a serious roller coaster ride which you might survive or might get dumped off and end up posting a boohoo thread on here in 6 months
--dont forget most of my experience comes from online where you meet these kinds of people all the time

So who wants the open relationship really-- SHE DOES -- so you are playing to her tune already and she is calling the shots
she is also txting other guys and keeping her options open

end result is unless you play things ultra carefully you are going to get ejected from this ride eventually.

as you like her more and more and she continues to play the non commital card you are going to have serious oneitis because you lose your power over the relationship. then you get needy and chody and she blows you off even faster

I always look at a girl and decide wether she is potentially girlfriend material or just somone to fuck around with right from the start.

if she is potential girlfriend material and she says she only wants an open relationship-- then when you start spending laods of time together doing boyfriend girlfriend cosy crap- then its moved in my opinion out of being an open realtionship i would push it into being an exclusive relationship ie no dating other guys or fucking about----otherwise i would bin her off and save myself the trauma later on.

"you could buy me more presents, I feel unappreciated"

or

"you could pay me more compliments, I feel insecure"

or

"you could make me laugh more, I crave amusement"

or

"I'll have to give this some serious consideration" (then you forget about it, obviously)

or

"babe, I'm at work I'll ring you later"

Just general re-framing, responding logically will just encourage it and drive you nuts in the long term.

PS

Hey PS, that one is very clever as it double reframes it back to highlight the insecurity of the originator of the text message stating "if you could change anything about me, what would it be? Xxx"

Ace!

-deleted-

Hmm, I see those replies as (humorously) avoiding the question all together though, when it was asked in quite a serious manner. To me that would make it appear as though I do have things that I would change, just that I don't have the balls to tell them to her (I realise my actual reply could also be viewed this way, but I promise you: it was genuine, and she took it as so).


Again, while I'm grateful of all the feedback, I'm not looking for suggestions on my examples in particular - just looking to have a discussion/examples/opinions on shit tests and how to deal with them in general?

Much love,

Craigus

Wtf is a shit test?? woman have to pass my tests not the other way round! And i couldnt care less if i passed a girls shit test or not. Would be her loss

AJay

You cant fail shit tests if you remain unaffected. the point is to show if u are needy and weak. If the girl says 'hey can you carry this?' and you go yeah sure and carry it like its nothing or maybe a bonding thing between the two of you, you havent failed the test. its only if you carry it bcos u want to impress rathr than owning the situation and continuing to carry urself with confidence and having fun, being urself etc.

How would an alpha male deal with them? (An alpha male wouldnt ask this question as it just wouldnt bother him)

AJay

If I get a shit test, or a stupid/irrelevant/validation seeking question I give a stupid answer, tell them it's a stupid question and asked why they ask it, or just don't answer it.

One I get a lot is "how many girls I've slept with?" to which I always answer I don't tell people and I'm the only person in the world that knows, usually followed by reasons that I think it's irrelevant and only asked by people who want to judge someone by it. The pure curiosity factor of this sends girls crazy.

My reply is always "im a virgin" or "what makes you think id sleep with a woman, yuck"

AJay