Hey guys,

I'd be really grateful for your help.

I'm such an AFC but I'm really trying to change. There's this one girl who I met who is literally perfect for me (although I know it's not good to think that way about a girl). We've spent a bit of time together (with mutual friends) and we get on so well. We're always flirting and she gives me really strong IOIs. I feel as though I've managed to build rapport and escalate quite well.

So then I went and did the most AFC thing ever, I literally said to her "I think you're really beautiful, I really want to kiss you". I gradually moved in to kiss her and although I didn't feel her really resisting me with her body language she did say "no".

So here's my question: Is it possible that she's just shy and not used to guys making a move on her? Or could it be some kind of shit test? Or of course I'm aware it might actually just mean no and she's just a flirty girl who loves the attention, although I haven't noticed her acting the same with other guys.

Thanks!

Andy

well, i do not know what she meant with NO so i won't be giving u an advice for that ..

BUT

i have been in situations like that so there is something i can tell u, make sure u don't start pushing on her now ... keep ur mind cool dude and treat her with the PUA instinct for now ...

sounds like you tried to force the situation brah, if it's on, "no" doesn't happen because your not making a move... it just happens. Could have been a "No" for a number of reasons, but every time this has happened to me in the past I believe it was down to a lack of kino and not progressively escalating towards it. Pulling it out as a surprise from nowhere without impeccable confidence is a recipe for failure.

Thanks for the replies guys.

Yea Breaker that makes perfect sense, I did feel it was such an AFC way of getting the kiss close. I made it out to be such a big deal for her by declaring my feelings for her like an idiot, instead of just letting it flow naturally from the intense eye contact she aways gives me.

Guess I'll just play it by ear and see how things are next time I see her.

being to forcefull will land you a rape charge.

and not forcefull enough, won't get you the girl.

ok an update:

I've not been on contact with her since "the incident" then she just started texting me tonight. After a few texts I sent her:

"There's this ice cream place in town my friend told me about. Sounds a bit different. Really wana check it out. Since I know how much u love eating (personal joke we have) I thought i'd let you tag along. Sometime next week?"


She agreed to it, but she said "but as friends though right?"

Does that mean that she's really not interested in that way? Or could it be an extension of what we dicussed before? I don't really know her long enough to be in the friend zone, yet she agreed to meet up.

Either way I guess I have no choice but to meet her, have fun and try and game her, then go for the kiss close in a less AFC way.

Thanks!

I'm no expert.. but if a girl said that to me, I'd try and swing it sexual as soon as possible!

Just meet her, kino with her, get close, make her wana kiss you instead.

I've had female friends who were adament we're just friends, then they're gettin steamy with me.. so what a woman says is not always what a woman means.

I would say from the update she currently see's you as just a friend. BUT since you said you two dont know eachother that well you can turn this around. From the information you've given it seems your frame isn't strong enough.

On a brighter note, Your clearly doing something right if she wants to meet up with you and you've only just met it implies she has atleest some small emotional investment in you. At the beginning stages of meeting a girl you can convert these 'lets just be friend' meetings to something sexual but it isnt always easy.

It could be a variety of things but most commonly the guy who gets himself in this situation normally isnt as bad off as he thinks, normally it's just they are not being flirtacious enough. Now steady because that doesnt mean you should suddenly start whacking her ass or pinching her nipples or anything like that (atleest not if your going from a perspective of meeting up with a girl who at the time thinks your meeting as 'friends'). Just relax play it calm but be more daring, implement more light kino, never break eye contact first, occasionally tease her.

Balance is key though most guys go too far with this and end up killing the mood and vibe by suddenly trying to act like a complete jackass, the key is to be congruent if your a nice guy thats fine. But be a slightly naughty/cheeky nice guy. I have a few friends who pull off the cheeky nice guy well.

reply: "OK, I guess I can trust you not to molest me"

Classic David D role reversal stuff but worth a try.

Andy, I'm assuming this girl both enjoys hanging out with you, and enjoys the flirtatious nature of your interactions? If so, I can see where your confusion lies, and here is an example of how I might play it:

Go out with her, as friends. Don't flirt; don't kino; don't give her the attention that you have been showering on her up till now. If she tries to flirt, etc., ignore it. She has to realise that friends means friends.

Now, either she will realise that she is attracted to you, and that she does want to be more than just friends; or, you will realise that the girl's just not into you and that it's time to move on.

If you try to push things, it ain't gonna work.

Hope this helps dude.

Much love,

Craigus