Initiate again or leave it? -
21-12-2010, 06:58 PM
Hi all,
I've had this fit girl I know who has always flirted with me and basically hit on me when she had her BF. Because of this I always kept well clear of her, now they have finished and a while back she sent me a couple of msgs on FaceB, we chatted. I saw her out we had a few drinks and I had her back in mine, gave her a good seeing too but told her things would never work between us because I'm to old for her I'm (35 she's 22) Since then we have exchanged a few messages and pokes off Faceb but I have had to initiate them.
Should I just leave it?
it would be a good idea to explain what your intentions are as newbie mentioned. Like do you wanna see her again because you feel you made a mistake? because you want to keep having sex with her? you dont want to leave on bad terms?
Just make sure you tell her what relationship you're starting with her. Is it pure sex, is it a serious one etc. Otherwise it will blow up on you. If you tell her it's a sex thing and you treat her like your girlfriend, she will think it's a proper relationship as well.
Just be honest with her and things will work out fine
it's hard dude, because you may seem lower in value initiating conversations all these times if shes not starting convos with you. your best forgetting facebook and text messaging and just call her and be genuine with her that you may have made a mistake and you want to see her again. BUT its best to do it in a way that shows that your letting her know the deal AND THATS IT. your not gonna die if shes says she doesnt want to see you again, and you show the willingness to walk away by just kinda saying that you said what you want to say on the phone call but now youve gotta go coz your busy but YOU call me back to discuss meeting up again etc.
It's not lower value to initiate, they already slept together, and he made it clear to her that he isn't into a relationship. If he wants to change that, he has to initiate it. It's lower value to be needy, always initiating can be a symptom of a needy person, but it does not mean it has to be.
As I said, she'd always made it plain that she had the hots for me and frequently flirted with me, then she broke up with a guy I know ( together years, don't know him all that well but live in the same village). She had contacted me by email about some bullshit stuff and knowing she fancied me I told her if it weren't for Her ex I'd be all over her. Then around a month later I saw her out, told her again it didn't feel right for me because I knew her ex and then we ended up getting drunk together, back to mine and I gave her a good seeing to,stuck my finger in her butt a couple of times when she came which I think shocked her a bit but she enjoyed it. Then on the night something was said about "Us" and I told her I was far too old for her, I'm nearly 36 she's 22. Exchanged a couple of emails since but it's generally me who initiates it, in one email as suggested she popped around for some fun and she replied that I was moidering which is I think a Welsh word for bullshiitting.
So that's were I'm at I guess I've told her I want a sexual relationship and she's may feel like a slut because I've anally violated her and told her I just want casual, I kind of regret it now though. Should I just forget about it or...