Ok need a bit of advice here so sorry if the post is long.

Every sunday myself and some of my friends who all work together (barring myself) go to our local pub to have a drink and laugh, now I while back I started dating one of the girls who goes and things went really well or a bit but we argued a lot, mainly due to my own insecurities.

After one particular argument she decided she wanted to "just be friends" the three worst words a man can possibly ever hear, but then I find out that its most likely just an excuse as her ex boyfriend who shes apparently obsessed with came back on the scene, so we argued about that for a bit etc... then I told her that I wont be texting her ever again and that I'm deleting her from facebook etc... Ive done very well for 6 weeks with no contact even when she texted me asking if we were friends yet because she wanted to come out with the group as normal.

Now without my reply she decided to come anyway, I ignored her all night, barely even glanced in her direction, but apparently she was annoyed that I paid her no attention and even tried to stop other girls in the group from talking to me.

Now this week I find out shes bringing her boyfriend along.. which angered me because its a really low blow to either get my attention, get a rise out of me, or generally piss me off.

Now my main question if I do decide to go, how do I act? Does anyone have any tips on how to play it cool and perhaps get her at her own game, or should I stay well clear and give this week a miss and not get sucked into her patheticness?

If anyone has any other tips for my situation it would be really appreciated, I must admit I fell hard for her and I'm still not completely over her but I'm getting there.

Sorry for the long post guys, and if this is in the wrong section feel free to move it MODS.

I agree that you are probably right, she isnt worthy of my time I'll give you that, but being friends with her isnt an option for me, I found out the real reason she broke it off with me was that her ex boyfriend came back on the scene as I said, that alone makes me hate her for lying to me and not being straight and letting me think it was all my fault.

Although I do admit my own insecurities were what caused the arguments we had, shes still lied about the real reason she blew me off.

Do you think persistent ignorance is the best option until maybe one day when I can forgive her?

From what you said it sounds like its just your pride hurting dude.

It sucks and it hurts, but it won't last forever.

Unfortunately there is probably little you can do to get her back now. And as tony said - you don't want to, if she is playing games etc.

You have two options.

1) Never see her again - fuck her - you are the most important person right now. If it too painful to see her then don't. If she asks about it, you don't have to be all wussy and needy. Just tell her how it is and don't appologise for it. Then move on.

2) Remove yourself from the situation just long enough to take an objective look at it. What are the facts, and what is just in your head? I've been in very similar situations. A girl I was with dumped me and started going out with another guy very soon after. And it fucking hurt. I wanted her back. And actually if I'm honest with myself I wanted to make her hurt like she hurt me. But if I could go back and talk to myself I would say 'Ben. She dumped you because you did something wrong. You wern't attractive enough. You wern't relaxed enough around her. She is young, and at this moment in time she finds this other guy more attractive. So it's YOUR FAULT. Not in a negative way, but in the best positive way there is, because once you realise that it is your fault, you have control. YOU CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR REALITY. So stop feeling shit and feeling anger towards her and some chump. And think 1) What happened? 2) What will I do differently next time so that it will never happen again?'

I don't know it this applies to or helps with your situation, but the important thing is that you learn from this moment so you can make positive change.

Just knock the boyfreind out. Simples.

Only joking. Just act like you did last week. Keep ignoring her. It'll keep building inside her, she'll be really upset, then she'll stop hanging out with 'the group' and you WIN. Thats what I would do, but I'm a cunt so dont copy me.

Best advice is dont let it bother you. Try and get on with her, might end up being fuck buddies? At the end of the day when your with your mates, have a laugh dont think about what shes doing.

Just dont go mate, honestly u dont need the shit, ur not in a place where u can handle it yet..

just find something else to do on the night...

u dont need to act in any way at all.... if she had any respect at all she wouldnt bring her fella along.. she sounds like a waste of space anyway la

fuck the slag... get another one

Put it this way "why would you let a woman stop you from your regular Sunday night out, enjoying your drink and having a laugh?". Once you figure out the answer, you will be cursing yourself. If she comes out with the bf, so fooking what. You should never give her the satisfaction of knowing your are remotely bothered (even if you are). Just enjoy yourself and ignore her and just exchange pleasantries with the bf. He has got nothing to do with how shes been treating you. From experience, the more you ignore her, the more she feels bad about what she has done.

Go out and find other birds! Once you start going on dates with different girls or dating someone, your ex will get jealous but please dont do what she has done to you and go back to her and lied to whoever you with..!

I appreciate all the replies guys, I certainly wont stop going out because of her, and I think I'll take the route of just ignoring her and not showing her I care whilst being alright with her fella, I'm beginning to see now that shes not worth it and to be honest the only reason its took me so long to get over her is that I always worry that I wont find someone else, but at the end of the day I'm only 21, still plenty of time, I just need to chill out and get out and sarge it up a bit

hmmm... u know what mate... i reckon ur right... u probably wont find anyone as good as her... i reckon u met THE best girl on the face of the planet... she is the only one, THE ONE & ONLY... i reckon if any of us met her we would also fall in love...

Probably hotter than any other girl....



Then you look at this picture below and think... I Am worse off than anyone on the planet..... how will i ever go on...

...or perhaps not

http://leocbrito.deviantart.com/art/...Earth-64522821

every time i have a problem i look at this and it makes me realises how insignificant our petty problems r... i had onitis and it is so ridiculous

honestly mate... u will be fine... its happened to the best of us...

u shoulda seen kowalski after his fella dumped him... A MESS

I like it!

My new desktop background for sure.

Agreed - just remember that SHE is the one with the problem, and it's HER loss. Just keep doing what your doing mate, most of us have been in that situation and it's tough but trust me there are other girls - many other girls