Well it's ended ina big fuckng car crash. I worked up the balls to phone her and when I did she heard my voice and started saying get lost or she'll bring harassment charges. Feel like a total weirdo now and a loser. I don't think I desrved that. We hadn't talked for a year, I sent an email a few weeks ago but didn't hear anything so presumed it didn't get there (I wasn't sure of the address), but the animosity over the phone was terrible. I thought we had a bond and at least a friendship. In a bit of a state of shock now but I guess I have an answer.

Neither of you are good bf/gf material for anyone right now.

Her being so blunt with you might help you to make the clean cut you need to make. Be thankful for a lesson learned cheaply.

Now - plan.

Plan to have a skill and live in a place, or whatever complex of things it is for you.


Peace,

kowalski

Thanks Kowalski, what do you mean by have a skill and live in a place - do you mean just get settled for a bit. It would be nice to build something.

She really caught me by surprise on the call, wasn't expecting the anger at all. Maybe in future I should just tell someone to F.Off if they take that tone with me. Funnily enough later that evening I got an unknown call from someone who just said nothing and then hung up. Likely to be her. Don't know why she would have. Maybe wanting to choose the right number to delete and block.

Maybe I do need to go and work on myself now. I might try to get PUAing in London if anyone was around.

If she does call again, that probably means she feels remorse for acting that way, and might actually allow me to have a chance - should I just be trying to banter or should I act mad as if I'm annoyed for her conduct when I called.

Aw what am I saying, as if it would happen. Need to go on a few more dates and get planning something.

By that I meant - plan something that is complex not simple. Complex meaning consisting of two or more parts.

So live in a place and have a skill is an example of a minimal complex goal (maybe you want to live in Australia and surf = live in a place and have a skill). Or another example, own a thing and change how I respond to x (maybe you want to own a Ducati and be less anxious about your annual review).

I didn't read beyond the word she.


Peace,

kowalski

For fucks sake man, let it go and let her go.

You hadn't talked to her for a year before you phoned her. Do you know how many girls you could have went out and kissed or got intimate with in that time? Loads. Absolutely loads.

So stop moping around and do something else. This is a harsh response, but I feel I'm entitled to give this harsh response because I've not only been though a somewhat similar situation, but an overall more serious and complex experience than you, and I got through it.

I did get through it though, by being a strong motherfucker and taking responsibility for my future. Something along the lines of what Kowalski has said to you.

So it's time to man up.

She got in touch with me and I asked her to marry me, she said yes!

No.. I mean I rang her again and then the cops rang me and told me to cease and desist... would be more likely :/

Well I'm leaving the country in 3 weeks now. Have enrolled on a course for a few years which will set me up with skills. I'm old but fuckin need to man up and face my shit every day and keep rolling.

I'm focussing on a bad picture I have of her now everytime she pops into my head, it's working a little bit. Still in shock a bit as to why she was such a cunt to me. What can I do. Wish I could find out why she is so angry and do something about it but can't. Feel like hiring a private detective or something.

What's there to do but try to give someone else a chance. How the fuck will I ever get another hot chick when I've become not only a chump but an old chump now :( Need to get practicing and cut out watching porn I think.

Don't hire nobody. You said you're old (you're not really) so don't waste any more time on this, or her.

Do what you're doing, moving away is the greatest advice I have for anyone in a similar situation. Changed my life more than I ever expected.

Your mind is still revolving around her and her life, what she's doing and why. It ain't your job to "give someone else a chance", quit with that BS thinking - it's yourself you need to give a chance.

You've already taken the first steps, so keep it up.