Thanks for your replies Kowalski and Jaz.
She was very very hot to me dude. And my game was good when I got her originally, then I dipped completely. She's my Ariana Grande.
Ok here goes
1. Her mood being up and down despite me being super nice to her and funny etc.; Her not texting me for days and saying no to me when I asked her to go do stuff; her going out with her mates and not telling me where she was going and being secretive; her talking about how she fancied other blokes while with me at dinner; her denying we ever did kinky stuff in the bedroom as if we never had sex; her treating me like I am disposable to her; her showing me no respect; her not valuing my experience in the world; her disregarding my opinions; her not finding anything I would say or do as funny; her disagreeing with more or less everything I would say; her picking me up and putting me down whenever she wanted; her not letting me get to know her son; her making me feel like I was a secret in her life; her shitty behaviours; her leaving photos of her husband up when we first started going out.
2. What I found unattractive - nothing really. some of her tattoos are quite cheap looking. She is generally a bit trashy but I'm attracted to that.
3. I truly hated the way she treated me. I truly hated the way she would arrange to go out with mates instead of me and not invite me or tell me where she was going and not even ring or text me when out.
All in all now that I think about it I was used to wipe the floor, in fact used to clean the shit off her toilet.
The thing is, when I was with her sometimes we could be so close or she could be very clingy then all of a sudden the opposite. I think she was a mess.
But I put all of this shittiness down to the change in terms of how she valued me. At the start she did everything on my terms and when we would meet she would be all over me hugging for hours and asking me questions non-stop at 4am. I guess my value was up and my game was good. But then things deteriorated fast and it was a very difficult downhill slope. She stranded me 6 hours away once leaving me to make my own way back because she was in a mood.
But I'd give it all to see her smile once again. Maybe i'm