Ex advice what would you do to re-attract
 

My ex is 13 years younger than me, I'm 40.
We broke up a year ago. She's still married but separated, and has a kid.
I have her number but she deleted and blocked me I think. I have her work email address. I know where she lives.
When we broke up she said she stopped feeling anything for me - which in PUA language means she lost respect because I acted negative and weak over a few months, - but before that she was head over heels for me.
I don't know if I should email her just keeping it friendly and asking for some information relating to our jobs, just one or two lines keeping very neutral. Then if she replies just say thanks and leave it. Then she might feel like I'm not interested in her anymore because I didn't try to ask anything else of her to do with us and our relationship. Then after a month I could email again and say i've been thinking and would love to catch up for a coffee, and go from there.
Obviously the best way would be to bump into her somewhere and seduce her in person but without stalking her or something that ain't gonna happen as we live in London.
Wondering if anyone has any tips? I do realise it's a very long shot.

Don't do this.
How many girls you chatted so far this month?


Peace,

kowalski

Hey Kowalski

I know i have one-itis. I've gone out a few times daygame and in the night and chatted to lots, maybe 20 sets over the past 30 days. I see it as practice for when the opportunity to meet my ex arises again.

Her last memories of me before we split were of a weak guy doing poorly in life and negative about things. I am now doing much better and am beating back the depression everyday. I am on the up.

I think I have 2 choices here, seeing as it is about building value and respect again 1) 'engineer' a bumping into her, which I have no idea how to do, 2) email her at work, saying that I'm now working with an ex-colleague of hers whcih reminded me of her and then ask an inoccuous question to do with professional issues - then if she replies don't push for anything, a simple hope you're well, thank you.

I realise it's a very long shot. I realise I am wasting so much time on this one and has been months without any action. But I was never happier in my whole life than when with this one.

If you had to try for this one, what would you do? Don't say "I wouldn't"!:pound:

I definitely wouldn't. The most I allow myself to think about my exes is that I'd like to bang them again and sometimes that has happened and they know that's my only interest in them (well, some of them make good chat too but chat is foreplay).

I know she's not that hot, man. Sorry, but your ex is average at best. If you were the type of guy who got hot girls, you wouldn't be here asking what you are asking.

Step 1.
Tell us about all the bad times in detail.
Then tell us everything that you find unattractive about her.
Then tell us what you truly hate about her.


Peace,

kowalski

Thanks for your replies Kowalski and Jaz.

She was very very hot to me dude. And my game was good when I got her originally, then I dipped completely. She's my Ariana Grande.

Ok here goes

1. Her mood being up and down despite me being super nice to her and funny etc.; Her not texting me for days and saying no to me when I asked her to go do stuff; her going out with her mates and not telling me where she was going and being secretive; her talking about how she fancied other blokes while with me at dinner; her denying we ever did kinky stuff in the bedroom as if we never had sex; her treating me like I am disposable to her; her showing me no respect; her not valuing my experience in the world; her disregarding my opinions; her not finding anything I would say or do as funny; her disagreeing with more or less everything I would say; her picking me up and putting me down whenever she wanted; her not letting me get to know her son; her making me feel like I was a secret in her life; her shitty behaviours; her leaving photos of her husband up when we first started going out.
2. What I found unattractive - nothing really. some of her tattoos are quite cheap looking. She is generally a bit trashy but I'm attracted to that.
3. I truly hated the way she treated me. I truly hated the way she would arrange to go out with mates instead of me and not invite me or tell me where she was going and not even ring or text me when out.

All in all now that I think about it I was used to wipe the floor, in fact used to clean the shit off her toilet.

The thing is, when I was with her sometimes we could be so close or she could be very clingy then all of a sudden the opposite. I think she was a mess.

But I put all of this shittiness down to the change in terms of how she valued me. At the start she did everything on my terms and when we would meet she would be all over me hugging for hours and asking me questions non-stop at 4am. I guess my value was up and my game was good. But then things deteriorated fast and it was a very difficult downhill slope. She stranded me 6 hours away once leaving me to make my own way back because she was in a mood.

But I'd give it all to see her smile once again. Maybe i'm :der:

Yes you're a bit :der:

Take no offence, but at 40 aren't you a little old to be getting on like a love-struck teenager, about a girl who's 13 years your junior?

This post almost reminds me of the reason I initially came on this forum. I was in a similar situation, more complex than yours but the bottom line is I know how it can feel to be cut up over that one girl. But time, massive action in terms of self-improvement, and a lot more girls makes it all better eventually.

I did however, pack my shit up and moved 50 miles away. So you might want to consider that. Best thing I've ever done.

Well that's how I feel. I am aware to some people it might seem a bit pathetic. I hear what you're saying about maxing up on the self-improvement - I've been trying, wish I could just have the balls to approach a woman with no care about social embarrassment if rejected. A woman pushed by me today with huge knockers and she was hot, about a 7, and all I could muster was "Jesus". She kept looking at me then afterwards maybe she was scared!
I did try moving away and then lost it, went and got a job here specially to come try with her but haven't had the balls in 5 months to make contact.
There are so many hot women here. I'm gonna get back on Tinder and try get a few dates. Also going out this Saturday so going to try chat to a few ladies.

Ever have another guy take your woman from you? That's what I'm sure happened here. Some chump kept picking away at her in her work everyday and then she eventually broke. I'd like to kick his ass.

Sorry dude I'm gunna hit you hard here but reading your last post was the neediest and most pussy fucking thing ever.

Be a man for fucks sake.

How far did you move that time?

Yes, that's where I'm going.

Well I moved not far, albeit to a different country lol but didn't settle there and couldn't make any opportunities.

I went out this weekend and got 3 numbers. Felt out of place at times as feeling old but at least I tried. On the downside was I needed a lot of alcohol to approach the women. One was cutish but anyones. The second one was a bit messed up in the head and voluntarily grabbed my phone and put her number in. The third one was hot and we have a good bit in common but the only one that didn't text back.

I emailed the ex on Friday and nothing today, I'm guessing I won't even get the opportunity to be in touch with her. I have her phone number but I am blocked I think.

Damn i feel your pain, if you are white dude just approach any oriental girl you will hit the jackpot.