Seeing the best in other people

[Summer Junky]

Ok this is a big stepping stone for me that I actually think I'm starting to get a handle of. I think once you can genuinely look at another person that you haven't even spoken to yet, and feel some kind of bond, or even a certain degree of love for that person, just because they are another human being, alive on this billion year old planet at the same time as you, then you are well on your way to living the kind of life that most of us on here are looking for.

Not so long ago I used to have quite a bit of anger built up inside of me, with people, mainly women, but generally against just about anyone that was happy, and unaware of my miserable existence. Frustration was my master, and it was slowly creeping into anger, which if anyone's seen the star wars movies, we all know where that path leads to. But I knew I was never a hateful person. I didn't have it in me, but I really got an insight into the world that a hateful person lives in, and believe me, if you haven't been there, you never, ever ever want to go!

So i started the path of self development, way before I discovered PU, and I gradually started to realise my true potential. There are limitless opportunities in this world, and the day you realise that you are capable of taking all of them, is the day that you can start to appreciate your own existence! And, just as importantly, start to appreciate everyone else's existence.

I don't wanna preach on too much about how the world would be a much better place if we could all feel love for one another, regardless of race or beliefs, because I understand that this is not how the world works, and would therefore just be a delusional rant. But regardless of all the shit that's going on in the world at the moment, and regardless of all the evil fucking pricks that live amongst us, I do believe that to truly ever be happy, or at ease with yourself and the world, you need to be able to look past all this nonsense and focus on the good nature of people. And when I say people, I don't just mean your mates, or fellow neighbours, I mean all people! Every last one! Of course it's hard to look at someone that has raped and killed a young kid, and is sitting smug in his mug shot, and say "I see the good in that person!" Impossible in fact, but the fact is is that everyone starts out the same. We all come from the same place, it's just what happens after that that makes us different.

So anyway, trying not to stray away from PU too much, I really do believe that this mindset is the key to success! Being able to see the best in everyone, not just the person in front of you, but every person that your'e gonna meet for the rest of your life, is gonna allow you to be able to feel at home in the world, and in your mind. The world will appear much less threatening, and you will allow yourself to get into situations that you would have previously felt very uncomfortable in. For example, approaching a hottie that is surrounded by meat heads. If you approach in the mindset that you love everyone, and everyone loves you, there's a pretty good chance that you'll make a couple of meathead friends, and will walk away with a hot girls number, yer get me? And this isn't fake love i'm talking about here. I'm not saying "imagine" that everyone loves you in order to get laid. I'm talking about genuine love. I have recently started to look at people in a completely different light. I look at them and I see the all the qualities that make them a human being, ie love, curiosity, compassion, empathy, intelligence, fear, confusion. Most people feel all these things just as strongly as you do, they're just a lot better at controlling them, particularly in social situations.

Anyhow, I think thats just about all i've got to say on this. I do realise that I've used the word love probably a few too many times, and I can assure you I'm not hardcore religious or anything like that. I just think that this is what it takes for a person to ever truly be thankful for their life. As we all know there are people with a shit load of mohoney that are miserable fuckers, and then there are people that have jack shit and are on top of the world.
By the way Tyler's Blueprint is obviously an inspiration of this post to anyone who's seen it, and to anyone that hasn't, well I strongly reccomend that you do!

[Simply David]

Originally Posted by Summer Junky

I do realise that I've used the word love probably a few too many times,

You can never say love too many times. Good post.

YouTube - Black Eyed Peas Where is the Love? Lyrics

[TorchedFrog]

hippies saw the best in every one and they was getting laid all the time

[Blanca]

Awesome post SJ - this is something I've started to realise recently too. It's going to be a bit of a challenge for me (I was always brought up to assume the worst in people - good in some ways, bad in many more) but realising this is a step in the right direction. Oceana on monday will be fun - we haven't done any pickup together for far too long and it'll be good to share some skills again!

Baby steps!

[TorchedFrog]

your mum loved everyone

[Summer Junky]

Hey Kowalski, you seem like a guy that really has your shit together, probably more than anyone I know, and so are able to take a more balanced view with these kind of subjects. To someone that has experienced serious in balance, and has felt the potential hate building up inside themselves, this could be a really healthy way of looking at the world, perhaps even if it's just during a healing process. As I stated, there are people that make it impossible for you to be able to love them, such as child killers and dictators, etc, but I guess what I'm getting at is the love for the human condition, and the ability to be able to relate to it, even if it's miles away from what you stand for. I think doing this may wash out the bad feelings and bias that a lot of us have. Maybe then we could start to look at things more detailed, and realistically.

[Hustler25]

Interesting OP. Though I understand what you are saying, I think its good to be open-minded and postive towards other people but to give out-right love to other people whom you don't know can leave you wide open. People can take advantage of and abuse your good nature and love toward them. Alturistic acts between people make me feel love for my fellow man and the human condition, however many people are hard-wired to act selfishly. Unfortunately whether we like it or not we all need to be mindful of this because exploitation of your free-loving nature can make you a 'sucker'.
Read 'The Selfish Gene' by Richard Dawkins if you want to know more about this.

Its pays to be more prudent. Instead I prefer to treat people with respect and as equal. Only when I get to know them better do I feel I can make judgements about them with more clarity and treat them how they deserve to be treated based on merit.

[Summer Junky]

Yeah sure, kindness can be misinterpreted as weakness, but that does not necessarily make it so. Just because you are able to look at the positive side of human nature more so than the negative, doesn't mean that your'e not able to deal with it.

[TorchedFrog]

.

i don't know if this is the same, but in my case i just don't see bad people

the other day i was at the bar chatting to a someone who is always depressed and belives the world hates him

as we walked in the bouncer gave me a smile and nodded his head

behind us and slightly to the left was a group having a really good night laughing and joking

behind us and slightly to the right was a group arguing and stressed because one of them had her purse stolen

i didn't know about this last group until the next day when i called my mate up and here is how his night went

"first we walk in and the cock of a bouncer is giving us evils and sizing us up then i got a fucking headache from the annoying girls crying because they lost there purse"

"what girls" was my answer i hadn't even seen them because my RAS simply blocked them out or zoomed in on only the people having fun and in my head the bouncer was nodding his head as a sign of approval as to how freaking cool we are.

this same guy gets into allot of fights as he always picks out the trouble then stares at it waiting for it to kick off so he can reinforce his beliefs that the world is fucked up.

[Tom]

Yeh I think Hitler was misunderstood I mean people call him the most evil man in history but Gengis Khan and Alexander were slightly dickish but if you got them all down the pub i'm sure they'd be great blokes what's a few million deaths between friends