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Question Which way? - 25-01-2013, 01:14 PM

What is the best way too improve?

I think my main issue is I simply don't meet enough women, I don't go out no way near as much as I used to. My current circle of friends aren't interested in going out round town anymore, the most we'll do is go the same pub every week to go and see the same old fugly locals or go for a meal.

Literally doing nothing to expand my social circle at all, ive had a look at that meetup website and most the activities are run and attended by mainly middled aged or ppl in there 50's.

I think I should jump off at the deep end and try make friends with some rondoms but I haven't got a clue where to start :-/

Thoughts and advice on what the best approaches would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
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Default 25-01-2013, 01:26 PM

I was in a similar situation. I decided to go out and do day game on my own. After a couple of months I started meeting people that I liked and would hang out with. This includes girls and fellow day gamers.

The best way to improve? You need to get out the house and talk to people. This is not an overnight process though, you need to put in the hours. A side effect of this is that conversing with and meeting people becomes easier the more comfortable you are with it all.


girls just wanna have fun
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Framejacker (25-01-2013)
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Default 25-01-2013, 02:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nova View Post
I was in a similar situation. I decided to go out and do day game on my own. After a couple of months I started meeting people that I liked and would hang out with. This includes girls and fellow day gamers.

The best way to improve? You need to get out the house and talk to people. This is not an overnight process though, you need to put in the hours. A side effect of this is that conversing with and meeting people becomes easier the more comfortable you are with it all.
thanks man, I know its going to take a while but it will be worth it in the end also i looking at it as some new and exciting that i'm going to enjoy.

Started today, i had an appointment in the city centre, so on my lunch i tried to talk to a few ppl,

asked one women the time, got an answer, which was not much of an interaction,

asked another girl where the nearest cash machine was, again it was over before it started.

Spoke to a cashier for few minutes while she was serving me,
me "you look like your having a good shift,"
cashier "ha, telling me about it"
me "well better in here than outside its freezing"
cashier "yeah it's horrible, aint it, cant complain really i've only just started"
me "yeah unlucky, what time do you finish?"
Cashier "4 o'clock"
me "that's not that bad"
Cashier "yeah, i can go shopping after it"
blah blah.... was quite happy with that interaction

spoke to old woman on the bus, as i got up to get off at my stop

ME "this weather is atrocious"
old "yeah, and it's going to get worse"
Me "really thought we had had enough of the snow now, meant to be getting warmer at the weekend, isn't"
old "going to snow some more first"

I went to speak to more but i could help but feel like i had no reason/business speaking to them, the other thing i'm finding difficult is making more of a connection/conversation other than

me "#question#?"
them "#answer#"
me "thanks" then i walk away

The most success i have had is just starting on a statement like "weather is shit" or "specific statement about situation/surroundings"
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nova (25-01-2013)
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Default 25-01-2013, 02:24 PM

Sounds like a good start to me. Carry on. You have every reason to speak to strangers. If anything, particularly to the shop cashier, you can brighten up their day.


girls just wanna have fun
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Default 25-01-2013, 02:59 PM

Good start indeed! I know how you feel..I put a lot of time into my ex and neglected friends. I've managed to make new friends through sport, but I was pretty lonely for a while.

My whole personality has changed over the past year, i'm much more outgoing and confident. Not that i'm saying these things are your downfalls..
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Default 25-01-2013, 05:12 PM

Most of the friends I have now in Burnley, have been made by me just going out on my own, being myself and having a laugh. I used to have to rely on forum friends but that's a thing of the past for me now. Being able to do what I do gives me so much freedom, and you hang around with people who share alot in common with you i.e music, drugs etc. It takes practice though. Go out, be friendly and chat to everyone. I find it easier in a club environment. This is where the saying "dont give a fuck what anyone thinks of you" comes in. As long as you're being cool and sound to people, go and do it. Not everyone is going to like you. Don't take it personally. People will start calling you and want to hang out with you which is great! Just don't tell them you're a PUA :/

Look up "socially awesome" on this forum. Some people here it would seem have neglected this.


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Default 25-01-2013, 06:40 PM

Hey man, I managed to get a bit of luck with meetup not long after moving to Manchester, music seems to be a common focus, but yeah a large amount of people were a bit older than I. You've made a good start just keep at it! Don't be afraid of what you might think people think about you for talking to them.
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Default 25-01-2013, 06:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by D!ce View Post
music seems to be a common focus
Huge ice-breaker all round


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Default 25-01-2013, 09:22 PM

http://www.puaforums.co.uk/pua-gener...html#post70867

Shameless self bump.

How can you ask other people whats good for you?

Your either know whats good for you and are too afraid / lazy to do it or your just looking to copy whatever else people are doing.

Dont ask what to do or they will tell you their own failed dreams. Tell people what you want to do and they will tell you how to get there.


Roody
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Default 25-01-2013, 11:51 PM

@darood I kinda get your point but I think it really applies to motivation rather than asking advice. I mean, me going out and getting girls purely for bragging rights to stroke my ego/improve my self esteem in front of my peers, is in essence self defeating and will do the opposite.

But asking what works and what doesn't, and learning technique/method surely is fine!

You know what happens to ppl who try to climb a mountain without any training or learning from ppl who have experience, they died cold and alone half up a mountain lol

Last edited by Framejacker; 25-01-2013 at 11:57 PM.
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