For those of you who can't be arsed reading this, skip to the question in bold italics down the page.

For everyone else, this is the story of my night.....

Was meant to be meeting some people but couldn't find them, so spent half an hour choding around the club trying to establish their whereabouts.

I then had to make a decision to either (1) go home, or (2) go solo. Number 2 it was. Got chatting to a couple of guys at the bar, that lifted my spirits so time to hit up some ladies.

See two Oriental women at the edge of the dancefloor, did my usual 'cheers' with the drinks to both of them. Said to one 'are these all yours?' (pointing to the table with loads of bottles on it). Got a couple of laughs and a bit of banter.

MISTAKE 1: Too much talk, not enough action, and it then got awkward.

Ejected, then saw another girl nearby. Note that this was the point where the night went downhill.

She was wearing a magician's hat, was going to open her on this but got 'the hand' (talk to the hand). I ignore this and still try to open her anyway, she is then dragged off by her friends. Another of her friends is stood watching this, I then open her but she is initially resistant. I say to her 'I'm only trying to talk to you, your friend ran off like I asked her for sex'. Starts laughing, claw her in so she can her me, BLAM! Finally getting somewhere.....

Then ANOTHER friend (this time a guy) drags her away! WTF. Guy says 'that's my sister', I respond with 'I'm only trying to talk to her, none of my friends are here so I'm just being social'. The guy then tools me with 'is it no wonder that none of your friends are here, and no-one wants to talk to you?'. Wow.

I respond in the only way possible......'Because no-one can handle my AWESOMENESS! I am AWESOME!' At this point the guy leaves and goes back to the group. However, on the inside a nerve was struck.

See a middle-aged woman at the bar, go up to her and ask her if I looked like a sex pest. She smiles and says no, I already know she is married but just needed some validation (MISTAKE 2). However, she then steps away from me and to her friends.

At this point I thought 'fuck EVERYONE in here' and proceeded to the dance floor. I love the dancefloor, a thought ran through my mind to dance with both middle fingers in the air but decided against it.

The 'weird guy' accusations eventually got to me, and I didn't want to do any more approaches so called it a day and left.

Felt dejected on the way home - the most dejected I've felt for a while as I've now had a few crappy nights in a row.

QUESTION: Have you ever had several crap nights in a row, getting to the point where you didn't feel like going out again? How did you eventually get over it?

Despite what happened, there were some lessons learned:

1) Less solo sarging (for the meantime) - I'm finding this pretty hard-going on my own, there is too much rapport-seeking in my interactions and this is messing me up. I've tended to do better when out with other people;

2) Going out for the sake of going out - this is a tough one as you get better with more practice, but at the same time I want going out to be FUN as opposed to the more logical 'I must go out to get more experience'. In this respect, I completely ignored my own signature tonight!

3) 'Resistance Man' - a concept that Tim from RSD talks about, where the mind is spewing negative thoughts e.g. 'everybody thinks you're weird'. When the 'Resistance Man' pops up, you simply go with the flow:

Resistance Man: Everybody in here thinks you're weird....
Me:.....you're right, let's go and 'weird out' some more people then!

I actually did this once before and it turned my night around, so in retrospect I should have gone down this route.

Any feedback on anything I've said/did is welcome!

Hell can be enjoyable eventually..

Is it stockholm syndrome?

Appreciated man!

Amazing how when you sleep on it, it doesn't actually seem that bad the next day - just a couple of things that could have been done differently on reflection

Bro I remember when I started boxing about a month ago, it's something I've always wanted to do and something I would seriously recommend. But, when I finally stepped into the ring for the first time after about two weeks of training I absolutely hated it, why.... because I got punched in the face several times, and I was like what the fuck man (I mean I knew I was gonna get hit but I didn't think it was gonna be that hard or that many times). It was after this that my sparring partner who could see I was ready to say forget this said something very wise; 'in boxing the mark of a great fighter is not how hard he can punch but how hard he can take a punch.' These profound words can be applied to not just your game but almost every aspect of your life, I realised that physical toughness hits hard (that whole ur a loser shit that dickhead was telling you), but mental toughness (the fact that you can say to him and yourself that your awesome and actually mean it) KNOCKS PEOPLE THE FUCK OUT.

Keep on punching homie.

I always found, when out on my own, it was best to just go and make friends with people. Have quick chats, crack a couple of jokes, just talk to some people and enjoy yourself. Going out, on your own, with the express purpose of picking up women, is a bit wierd. Don't put too much pressure on the interactions. By having the confidence to just go and chat to people and make friends, you'll find women taking an interest in you.

Mate it must of been the same night I was there (was meeting up with tebbs) and I didn't have any successful approaches at Piccadilly Institute. But, I went there the day before and had a great time, dancing with some polish girls and getting free drinks from them.

The difference in the two nights was:

There were about a 100 guys to every girl, hence the girls were getting harassed and were very defensive. The previous night it was a lot calmer and target rich, it was easier to open girls.

I think the venue is important, you need to have a lot more game in tougher environments like that night. You have a lot more balls than me as I gave up quickly.

Dude, I used to Solo Sarge when i first moved to where I now live and it's tough so kudos to you!

I don't think you did anything wrong that night.

I would have made one change

At this point.

Change venue.

Reset

Sometimes venues are full of male and female chodes.

It's one of the advantages of big towns,
loads of bars,
loads of women


Simples

This line is on Rocky films..

Its not how hard you hit, its how many times you can get hit and keep on fighting

Something like that

Hey SK, I believe you did good.. You have shown lots of mental toughness.. I don't give up easily myslef..

Just keep going.. I have been there. And like you said..It doesn't seem that bad when you think about it the day after..

Even Style in the game says something like we meet women in different 'phases' of their lives.. Atimes they want to talk and get some action from you, at times it's more complicated.. like this..

The good side for me is that when you get 'hit' in the field, it toughens your personality and that applies to other areas of your life and your social game generally.

It's not a bad thing , really!!

First thing you obviously know what choding around the club is so don’t do it.

When you move around a club don’t be looking around everywhere like you’re a lost sheep, slow your movements down look straight ahead, act like you belong there, head up. If you want a good examples of good movement watch Oceans 11 with the sound off. Whilst you’re moving through the club looking for your mates talk to people 30 second interactions, then eject and move on, ‘How you doing’, ‘you’re cute’. I could write a whole thread on this.

Mistake 1 wasn’t a mistake it’s a positive see it as that and the fact you let the situation get awkward is something to learn by.

‘The guy then tools me with 'is it no wonder that none of your friends are here, and no-one wants to talk to you?'.

This happened a lot to me and you’ll get this again and again and again, its usually delivered by chumps who haven’t got the nuts to do what you do. There’s usually an element of jealousy in there as well. I once took this girl away from a guy who clearly wanted her when we’d drunk enough to build up the courage to do it. He was calling me ‘billy no mates’ and I admit its hard when you’ve got that on your peripheral but I managed to isolate her and although I couldn’t get her out of the club, I did get her number and we met two days later. Best advice I can give you is ignore comments like this, James Bond never needed a wing man.

Mistake two wasn’t a mistake either, seeking validation was but you should talk to everyone anyway. I’d talk to everyone regardless I’d only want to fuck the pretty ones but I’d still talk to everyone.

In conclusion we’ve all been there I could write a ebook on insults I had one guy even try to punch me (this is Glasgow), even though I dealt with him swiftly (krav maga) the bastard got us both thrown out, which was annoying at the time because I was just about to close his sister. Another girl spat at me.

Don’t ever let this kind of thing get to you, it never got to me I went into the toilets cleaned my jacket on the way out of the toilets stopped a girl and made a joke about my wet jacket.

Sure its not easy having the don’t give a fuck’ attitude, but the more you’re exposed to it the less it will bother you and the only way to do that is keep doing it.

I agree there is a balance going out because you want to get better and having fun, but I forced myself to go out, some nights I really couldn’t be bothered but I’d still force myself to do it and the irony is I had a lot of fun.

What is more fun than having a laugh with girls? Washing their kidneys or making use of the other two holes.

I wouldn’t stop going out solo because there will always be a time when you mates won’t be there and it builds confidence very quickly think of it as fast tracking.