Hi guys,

Well i had what i thought was a day 2 on Sunday evening. I'll give you a little build up so its set's the scene and perhaps you guys can give me a little insight as i'm a little baffled.

So at my weekly Salsa class, the 1st Wednesday of every month they have a social afterwards. so three weeks ago, one of the girls ask's me am i staying for the social (IOI?), i say yes. I stay back and she's sat on one side of the room with her friend and I'm sat on the other. People start getting up to dance, but no-one ask her. I don't go over and after 1/2 hour she leaves.

So the week after we are dancing again and the guys rotate round as they do and the same girl this week say's am i going Copa's after the class (IOI?). I um and arh and say I've never been before.

Last week so ask's again am i going to copa's after the class (IOI?). I just said Yes and asked if she wanted to come along. She did, the class ends, she wait for me and we walk across together, dance and have a chat. I ask her for if she wanted to go dancing on Sunday even, she says yes, i get her number, jobs a good un.

So Sunday comes around, we meet up and go dancing. I dance with her three times and she get's asked to dance a couple of times by two other guys (it's normal at Salsa places), we stay about 1:30 and then we go to a bar and chat for about another 45 minutes. I found it really difficult as it was always me driving the conversation and did most of the talking and anything she said really never had any depth to it, not one word answers but nothing in any great detail. I don't know whether it is as English isn't her first language (she's russian) or it just wasn't going that well. She had little tells going on, playing with hair, rubbing shoulders, playing with the straw in her drink but i never really got the impression it was on. We walked out together, i kissed her on the cheek goodnight and that was it.

Really really confused

Retro

Hey Retro,

From experience and since English wasnt my mother tongue when I first arrived here 20 years ago, I would suggest the language could be a barrier. Years ago I would struggle to express my feelings, to have in-depth coversation to any english girls at university. I was a proper chode, nerd etc. Not because I wanted to be one but because I was shy, I couldnt interact properly, couldnt express myself, couldnt "fit in", too many cliques formed. My guess is, this is what is going through with her. It is hard to express yourself in another language, or even to have an in-depth conversation.

Best to take it slowly, make her feel comfortable in your company. She probably finds you a nice, friendly, alpha guy she wants to get to know. Next time you have the chance ask her out again but not to copacabana or salsa dancing date but do something different and see how she reacts. if she likes you, she will say yes and it is game on.

Much Success...

p.s. I still cant believe I didnt ask the number of that brunette in Lamar's. Im cursing myself...grrrrrrrr..!!!! She's stunning!

Mate that was SO on as well, she wanted you but her friend was cock blocking. There are more set's every weekend and now you know for next time

Thanks again for your input on my day 2 mate.

Retro- why not just go with the vibe and not worry to much if you think she's into you or not. (which I think she is from what your saying)

try getting more sexual with her.... eye contact, grabing her hand ect.... always try and lead!!

I took this girl out on friday night! I'm saying; we are going here now we will go there, its not being bossy its leading (fine line lol) alpha qualities not beta!

when I use to go out with women I would be like ''what you want to do now'' giving off real insecurity... always relying on her for the decsions...

anyway so me and the girl in a bar sat down

I was giving pure eye contact, holding her hand, then bang went for the kiss she love'd it lol.

so we leave I was driving, so driving back to her house pulled up outside kissing her neck at this point, feeling her tits ect.... she would'nt let it get any futher . so I drove home.

txt the next day, thinking I had blown it for becoming to sexual.

txt, so when are you cooking for me then?? she reply'd so back on... lol

keep going retro

regards sinstyle.

Retro - If you actually want advice on girls with non-native speakers let me know. I consider this my area of speciality!!!

I think you should see her again and see where it goes. You should be screening girls if you're looking for a LTR - if she is dull then go next! I guess you are probably just getting experience of dates and date conversations too. Difficult to know what happened without hearing more (eg, lost interest; insecure; nervous; couldn't understand you?...). Sounds like a good step though. I would do something different next time perhaps - invite her into your reality.

Questions [sinstyle - - been in a similar boat a few times - last night being a classic (and fucking brilliant fun) example - literally, the date after the kind of thing you explained. To me, you just need to wait till the moment is right for girls who aren't too sexually open - sounds like you're doing good. calibration and persevere; leave them better than when you found them

Nice one sin!
She was probably wanting to move things further but she has to not let it seem like she's too easy.

Retro,

This might be a Russian thing, I had a Russian Girlfriend for a while and she hardly said a word but all she wanted was sex.
While this sounds great I ended up getting bored of her (in hindsight I should have kept things going as a casual thing).

Anyway my point is don't get disheartened by her not talking much it might be a Russian thing, it was with the girl I was seeing, but if you are after a long term relationship but she doesn't talk much then do you really want that?

She's not called Tanya is she?

Hi guys,

Thanks again for your thoughts. I completely agree that she is not LTR material and i realised that while i was out with her as her goals are completely different to mine. I would however like to push this as far as i can as i really need the practice of further dates!

Retro

Good idea, if you are not bothered by the outcome then you might as well go for it you have nothing to lose, practice different techniques. Then when you are done introduce her to me

Thank for the Post k..

Did you tell her that you are attracted to her? <-- no
Did you have a strong clear feeling of sexual intent? <-- she's the only girl, that when i dance with them i get a Semi (does that count)
Did you touch her other than whilst dancing? <-- Kino'ed the hell out of her while i was talking afterwards. Arm, hands, leg, shoulders.


Just need to clear the last bit up a little. As you know that i'm looking for the LTR, the Mrs Retro, where ever and who ever she may be, which is very different from most of you guys who are after adventure, one nights, FB's etc.

When i said practice i didn't mean it in any malicious way, as that is not in my nature. What i was implying, is that maybe i should take my LTR head off just for a little while and embrace just having fun while i'm looking for the right girl. Let's face it, i'm giving a girl a chance to hang with a fun interesting amazing guy who's trying to constantly improve himself which is no doubt better than most of the choad's she's been out with before and as a short term partner, well that is very different from my point of view, the girl fun, share's a hobby and is incredibly attractive. Her ambition is to move to France after leaving uni so for her to have a LTR would need to find someone with the same goal. As long as i am open from the start it's no different from most of the people on here.

Retro